This Week in Milford

June 9, 2017

Overrated fight

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Fat Guys, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 9:40 am

So it turns out that Gil already is on the case of extinquishing the fire that is Ryan Van Auiken vs his old girlfriend featured on the sign at the baseball game by the girls from his old school. Good for him-  but its still almost mid-June and the kids not only have to finish baseball/softball but graduate already.

His parents describe the incident as non-violent, and are adament about it.  So its great that they completely believe Ryans version of the story. Because no way were they there when it happened, right? And Gil asks them before he asks Ryan about it, even though he has a first-person account of things. Why not ask him first? Oh yeah, he vamoosed. For all that coffee Gil drinks, he’s asleep at the wheel 98 percent of the time. If there was no police report, then Gil should just go back to Milford and tell Dafne to move on and find another story to cover. After she graduates. After she figures out she no longer writes for the Trumpet because she doesnt attend Milford anymore. And so on and so on..

By next week we should be on to lemonade and beach scenes. And golf. Yikes!!




  1. Never a bad time to break out the Jimmie Lee Vaughan!

    Pops Van Auken looks like he’s about to advance on Gil… Maybe the rage is a genetic thing.

    Comment by timbuys — June 9, 2017 @ 11:07 am

  2. I wrote yesterday that I was thinking the original incident was ambiguous and that Ryan left Kingswhoop because he was having trouble handling the notoriety, and today’s strip seems to support this. This may be a small point, but it doesn’t appear the three girls were from Kingsfoot at all, but from the Central City public high school “Central” whose coach spoke with Gil. GT plots often involve a kid who is misjudged by the public in some way and this may be another such story.

    Comment by vaganova — June 9, 2017 @ 12:21 pm

  3. Pops loosened his tie since yesterday. He’s ready to throw down . Is Gil? Depends if Kaz is waiting to knock the door down . Never mind that it’s unlocked.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — June 9, 2017 @ 8:50 pm

  4. “He tried to push her out of the way, the heel of his hand hit her cheekbone, her head bounced off the wall and the bannister, she was swaying around, Ryan tried to stop her from falling down the stairs — oh, did I mention they were at the top of a stairway? — but as he lunged forward, his momentum carried him into her and she completely lost her balance and fell down the stairs.

    But hey, totally not his fault.”

    Comment by John S. Walters — June 10, 2017 @ 8:48 am

  5. “Oh, did mention there was an anvil at the bottom of the stairway and her head slammed into the pointy part? Yeah, that happened too. I told my husband to move that darn anvil, but did he listen?”

    Comment by John S. Walters — June 10, 2017 @ 8:50 am

  6. robmize, I love this Judge Judy atmosphere.

    Alyssa vs. the Van Aukens

    “Alyssa, the plaintiff, is suing the Van Auken household for
    $2,000 to replace her damaged braces and her chipped left incisor she claims was caused by a scuffle with the Van Auken’s son, Ryan. The defendants, the Van Aukens, speaking on behalf of their son, say that it was a spat over who was going to pay for the Baconator Combo at Wendy’s. They claim that Ryan had to take a major dump because of the Chili Fries anyway and was only clearing a path to the men’s room.”

    “So you’re saying that Ryan shoved you into the table and spilled the Frosty all over your jeans and face which made your dental problem worse.”
    “Yes, Your Honor. He had done the same thing to my best frie-”
    “I don’t need a history lesson. Just tell me what happened.”

    “Your Honor, we have seen a doctor about his gastric disorders and-”
    “May I see the documentation from the clinic?”

    “She had no right to get into a hissy fit over our son. He’s a nice boy who would never harm a fly.”
    “I understand. Do you think the camera shots of your son provided by the Wendy’s security people was the difference in the case?”
    “Oh, most definitely. I think everybody and Judge Wapner saw that he wasn’t trying to hit her. If he really wanted to, he could cold-cock a hippo given his temper.”
    “Well, that about raps up another session here. I’m Doug Llewelyn, reminding you that if you have a dispute with your neighbor and, try as you might, you can’t broker a solution, heavens to Betsy, don’t take matters in your own hands. Take them to Court.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — June 12, 2017 @ 3:28 pm

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