This Week in Milford

June 29, 2017

Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dafne


It’s been over a month and a half since the Milford softball girls have seen any action, so at least one of them is hoping to see some off the field.  Turns out Carrie had better save that sliding for the softball diamond, if she ever gets back there. Pissy faced Gary is just not into her.

Meanwhile in the kitchen the unwanted advances are fixin’ to swap genders. Dafne raises a dainty pinky and flashes some midriff as she reaches for the pause that refreshes, whilst Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso tries to figure out when and where to put his shot. Unlike poor misguided Carrie, Dafne has the journalistic talent to turn the episode into something print-worthy.  Her grand return to the Trumpet will read along the lines of “I got hit on last week. You know who else got hit on, too? Ryan Van Auken’s ex-girlfriend!” Naw, it’ll be more like “I almost gave someone at Milford High unwanted attention, and now that I’ve gotten unwanted attention too, I can empathize and will now shut my trap.”



  1. Wonder if” Broke Back Mountain ” is Gary’s favorite movie?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — June 29, 2017 @ 8:03 am

  2. Samuel F B Morse could not have telegraphed this scene any better.

    Comment by vaganova — June 29, 2017 @ 8:20 am

  3. Gary is either gay, or he is one remarkable teenage boy who WON’T take advantage of a girl throwing herself at him. Mormon? Amish? Scholarship offer from Bob Jones U?

    Comment by John S. Walters — June 29, 2017 @ 8:35 am

  4. If Gary was gay, he could handle this much better.
    Alas, it’s going to take the whole rest of the summer to find out what’s wrong with him.
    Jimmy seems pretty easygoing. Don’t think he’ll get lucky, but it won’t be a problem.

    (Puts away crystal ball until f’ball practice)

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — June 29, 2017 @ 10:03 am

  5. Lighten up Gary. She’s not gassy. It’s those darn couch cushions .

    Comment by Funny if the cat was black — June 29, 2017 @ 10:08 am

  6. I won’t speculate why Gary feels the way he does, but I am with Downpuppy and will say that he seems like a pretty big jerk regardless of his motivations.

    Speaking of motivations, what is wrong with me that I spent a few seconds trying to read whatever is scrawled on the notes pinned to the Caruso’s fridge?

    Comment by timbuys — June 29, 2017 @ 10:35 am

  7. You know, if you’ve absolutely have no choice but to roll with a wingman, at least make sure he likes girls before inviting them over…

    Comment by hitorque — June 29, 2017 @ 2:44 pm

  8. the only thing more glorious then today’s plot twist is the comments on this page.

    Comment by lester — June 29, 2017 @ 9:54 pm

  9. actually upon further review he is obviously concerned that her giant hand is going to emit blade a la wolverine.

    Comment by lester — June 29, 2017 @ 10:04 pm

  10. teenchy, My guess is that it’s approaching July and the plot is sinking faster than the Titanic so in a desperate attempt to bail out the ocean, we gotta stretch the story by having Gary Meola morph from Don Juan to Jughead Jones, of misogynistic fame. Yeah, I only hung around because of the burgers. It’s bad enough that school’s still in session but when Thorpiverse is grasping at straws in the name of reader interest just to keep things from going sterile, let alone a paucity of things to do, it makes me appreciate Heathcliff.
    P1: “Norman, you want a Coke or a Sprite?”
    The Hitchcock jingle commences its eerie jingle as Norman starts stabbing.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — July 4, 2017 @ 11:58 am

  11. […] back on my go-to “Who saw that coming?” from Black Dynamite except to say, well, I saw that […]

    Pingback by That’s “Dafne.” “Hello” is my kitty’s name. | This Week in Milford — July 8, 2017 @ 1:52 pm

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