This Week in Milford

August 3, 2017

Kevin Pelwecki, Blank Canvas


As predicted, Heather has turned Pelwecki into Tom Sawyer’s picket fence: a blank canvas onto which everyone involved can project some aspect of their personality.

Heather can indulge her little coaching fantasy, except for that part where fullbacks have to block. That was never her strong suit and besides, Kevin is a guard so he should already know how to do that, amirite?

Pop Burns can indulge his Uncle Rico QB fantasy, and I expect he’ll be telling us how he coulda been a contender at some point.

Jaquan can make this into a first step toward reinventing himself as Antonio Gates.  After all, he’s not entirely confident he can rehab himself back into the NBA.

Eight Elbows, well, he can make some bucks off the whole scheme.




  1. Well, THAT didn’t take long. The boys are in control and the girl is… uh… nowhere to be seen. Nice.

    Comment by John S. Walters — August 3, 2017 @ 7:01 am

  2. Sure, it’d be easy to make another crack or two about Trey or Kevin’s hair, but I think pride of place goes to that rather bushy sideburn Papa Burns is sporting.

    I wonder if any of Trey’s other clients (assumes facts not in evidence) take issue with his seemingly random workout regimen… I for one am amused that part of rehabbing Jaquan’s knee is going immediately from running sprints to laying flatout to grab inaccurately thrown passes.

    Meanwhile, Kevin smiles in the background, happy that they are still allowing him to remain on the field.

    Comment by timbuys — August 3, 2017 @ 9:56 am

  3. I am just amazed at how bad of a pass that was from an ex-college QB on any level. Jaquan is 6’8″ and had to jump and fully extend his arm to catch it. Mr. Burns threw 88 trillion interceptions during his college career.

    Comment by drewfunk — August 3, 2017 @ 12:31 pm

  4. Oops, Jaquan messed up the good knee. Nice pass, Art.

    8 Elbows is sued for millions.

    Heather left ten minutes ago to catch a Greyhound to Pittsburgh. Carnegie Mellon freshman orientation started Monday.

    Comment by nedryerson — August 3, 2017 @ 12:57 pm

  5. Finally, a hint of a complication. Will Jaquan rip up his newly repaired knee trying to impress a 17-year-old girl? Will he decide to give the NFL a try? (heaven knows, my Bills could use a receiver. Literally, “a” receiver. Just one). Will anyone ever look at Trey’s rehab regimen and realize he knows as much about knees as my cat knows about helicopters?

    Comment by Philip — August 3, 2017 @ 3:06 pm

  6. teenchy, as billytheskink said yesterday, that was GOOD. I’d forgotten about Matt Suhey but definitely remember his great contributions to his school, Penn State, and to football in general. You’re on top of your game as usual. I would have responded sooner but I read your message while hiking and was out of the service area(daggone phone limitations-ha) and then I’ve been battling Slow Computer Syndrome all day(ha ha). You da man.

    The Power Rangers are taking a break from saving the world for democracy to lend a helping hand with the Father-and-Daughter Connection. And P2 doesn’t surprise me. Like superheroes, if they can leap the Sears Tower or the Empire State Building in a single bound, catching an errant pass from a has-been who’s been out of the game before Gil and Mimi tied the knot should be a cinch, whether the pattern is a cross, buttonhook, chair, fly, zigzag, V-cut, or anything else Heather could memorize out Coach T’s playbook she hocked while the former was teaching his daughter how to putt. The challenge will be donning those uniforms and shades back on and arrives in time in some desperate country bent on pushing the button.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — August 3, 2017 @ 3:11 pm

  7. Looks like he caught that ball sans gloves. Amazing.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — August 3, 2017 @ 6:31 pm

  8. […] Kevin Pelwecki, Blank Canvas […]

    Pingback by Return to Janet’s Diner? | This Week in Milford — August 5, 2017 @ 11:05 am

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