This Week in Milford

August 8, 2017

Maybe I’ll Start Making Puns On His Last Name


P1: Overdramatic much, Jaquan?

P2: Excuse me.. Mr. Case? I’ve been listening to you humblebrag for a good five minutes now and I’m just now putting it together that you’re some kind of celebrity.

P3: ?




  1. Ripped From The Headlines: An Older, Wiser Lonzo Ball Looks Back On The Forces That Made Him An Emotional Trainwreck

    Comment by John S. Walters — August 8, 2017 @ 7:14 am

  2. BUT YOU DIDN’T GO TO THE NBA! You went to UVA and was 3x All-American, Naismith Award Winner, 4x All-ACC, etc. So just shut the fuck up already with your self pity wankfest and quit embarrassing the flagship university of my Commonwealth!

    Comment by Hitorque — August 8, 2017 @ 7:42 am

  3. Yeah, but he DID play in the NBA after being picked in the first round, and is, presumably, still there if he gets his knee straightened out. Why else would any of these people, other than Gil and Palooka, have any idea who he is? Without that, he is just a player from a national level prep team that flew in on an open date to play Mfnrd twelve years ago. Jaquan’s time in the NBA has been mentioned several times thus far. What he’s telling us now is that while he is a major star, and that he did revolt and insist on college, he still regrets some things about his teen years, such as the way people tried to use him to make money for themselves. “Sports development and management” is a real moneymaker, one that was gaining momentum when the original story ran, and it’s still going. “Handlers” still insist that kids play one sport rather than another (or be dropped) and still make lucrative deals with shoe and apparel companies. And they always seem to be one step ahead of the latest rules on fake schools and fake classes to get kids into college. I am sure that Bishop Tardy was on the level, but the “handlers” are not above placing kids in “schools” which are not in order to puff up their transcripts.

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 8:12 am

  4. All this is taking us away from the more interesting subplot — the guy who has a ‘famous rehab gym’ in his mom’s basement. Maybe he can get interviewed by Marty Moon in Marty’s mom’s basement, and they can discuss the different types of water heaters they have.

    Right now, that sounds tons more interesting than this NBA player retelling his same story of woe over and over to his three fans (now four, I guess, including the short-order cook,)

    Comment by Moon Mullins — August 8, 2017 @ 10:12 am

  5. Moon, I agree. The Palooka story is a borderline repeat– even Brick House foreshadowed it. And the superstar visitor, while unusual, has happened before. But I don’t remember a precedent for a Mfnrd kid setting up a national level training facility in his parents’ old house– in Mfnrd. That’s the one I’m following….

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 10:16 am

  6. Did you say you used to play football?
    Yeah. when I was a sophomore. the 3 best years of my life…

    Comment by Knoxy — August 8, 2017 @ 10:55 am

  7. I admit I’m also hoping we’ll find out the significance of “now that I’m thirty.” Does he mean he sees the end of his NBA career approaching and appreciates the attention more now? I’m guessing here.

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 11:47 am

  8. @vaganova: Yeah, I meant he didn’t go straight to the league at 19 because the way he retells it you’d think his uncle and Phil Knight were holding a gun to his head…

    Too bad he didn’t keep any of his lottery draft pick money, he could have afforded a professional training instead of some butt buddy crony amateur from high school working out of his garage…

    Just another reminder for Rubin that Heather was introduced last year as a budding physical therapist yet she’s asked zero questions about the profession… Then again, I’m 99% certain that Heather was introduced to us as a senior, too…

    Comment by Hitorque — August 8, 2017 @ 2:09 pm

  9. We have yet to see if Trey Davis has the goods. There are some signs he may not… Hitorque is right about the question of who forced whom and who is to blame. But I do think it’s unfair to pressure a kid the way he was apparently pressured, even if the outcome appears to have been a good one– a degree from UVA AND a pro career.

    To assume (humbly) billy’s role for a moment, yes, Heather was a senior last year, but did agree to Gil’s suggestion that she “help with the team” during the summer before college. The trouble is that most colleges now start about the time two-a-days do, which is probably while she’s doing informal sessions with Palooka. My old college still starts in mid-September and has the long break before exams in late January. i would have hated starting school in the middle of August.

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 3:13 pm

  10. meant “probably why” she’s doing informal sessions

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 3:14 pm

  11. If this were Rush’s “2112”, P1 would be the Soliloquy part where the poor schmuck is contemplating blowing his brains out with a laser gun after the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx have confiscated all the music. Fortunately, an autograph hound is here to save the day so perhaps it’s not all gloom & doom on the Red Star of the Solar Federation. Palooka(I like, I like, vaganova) still needs to work on his tucking technique but that’s for next week at Denny’s. One crisis at a time, plotline gods.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — August 8, 2017 @ 5:14 pm

  12. Thanks, T Drew– as I have written earlier, Palooka reminds me of Bill Spunska, the lows skill, high drive hockey novice I remember from the Canadian boys novel of my childhood, “Scrubs on Skates.”

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 5:40 pm

  13. Vaganova, you reminded me of the Indian chief who received his spirit name after dreaming about sliding on ice, wearing hospital pajamas on his feet: “Skates-On-Scrubs”.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — August 8, 2017 @ 5:48 pm

  14. Boom.

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2017 @ 5:57 pm

  15. @vaganova: No way in hell would any red-blooded American parent let their daughter think about anything BUT freshman year… And no way in hell would any just-graduated senior be seen anywhere near school unless there was a gun to their heads…

    Comment by Hitorque — August 9, 2017 @ 6:48 am

  16. I agree, Hitorque. But in the Thorpiverse such things happen. At the end of her football season as a player-coach, Heather did make that deal with Gil for this summer, strange as it may be.

    Comment by vaganova — August 9, 2017 @ 7:32 am

  17. […] middle of summer, he’s drawn only the attention of the cook at Janet’s Diner (via the waitress who looks like Claude Akins). Maybe he’s not the superstar we’ve been led to believe […]

    Pingback by Killin’, Wishin’, Hopin’ | This Week in Milford — August 12, 2017 @ 10:41 am

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