This Week in Milford

August 12, 2017

Killin’, Wishin’, Hopin’


I’m not gonna engage in mental gymnastics today beyond guessing what Jaquan has backward is that he wishes Heather (or Trey, or Pelwecki, or someone) would tell him they wished he coached basketball.

There’s been too much suspension of disbelief required to hang with this summer plot. An NBA star rehabs an injury under the supervision of one of his old high school opponents, in a gym he converted from his parents’ old house?  That old opponent is now some kind of master trainer with more than one client? The ex-soccer player, ex-undersized tight end is now a coaching genius? The greasy-haired big lunk lineman is suddenly gonna turn into a skilled ball carrier/receiver? The greasy-haired big lunk lineman’s regular-season coaches are gonna note this and give him touches (but not like the touches the coaching genius has been giving him)? Stop this crazy train, I wanna get off.

What I do find remotely plausible is that Jaquan wants to coach. We’ve heard nothing about his NBA career post-draft. Even after donning a hoodie in the middle of summer, he’s drawn only the attention of the cook at Janet’s Diner (via the waitress who looks like Claude Akins). Maybe he’s not the superstar we’ve been led to believe and has just been eking out a living on a string of 10-day contracts between stints in the D-League. Maybe he’s seen enough of how Gil skates by in Milford to want a taste of that life. Maybe I’ve run out of theories and just wish Herk the Mauler would show up again.

metapost: Even as I try to get back into the habit of posting the B&W version of the strip, it’s been pointed out to me that the color version contains a fairly egregious error.


Musical inspiration for the post title:


  1. I’ll give this story arc this, I have no idea what is going to happen. Nothing, probably, but I’m not quite sure. Lets hope it doesn’t get squick-ier than it already has.

    Comment by billytheskink — August 12, 2017 @ 12:02 pm

  2. I’m with teenchy in hoping for another apparition of Herk the Mauler. And the suggestion that Jaquan may be thinking of becoming a coach relieves my mind– I’ve been noting how much attention he has been paying to Heather and thinking “You’re creepin’ me out, man…” If we find out there’s a sudden opening in the Valley Conference (Todd Andrews is blown up in a meth lab explosion, for instance) that will be a strong hint.

    Comment by vaganova — August 12, 2017 @ 12:12 pm

  3. Yeah, I keep trying to parse Jaquan’s angle here and am coming up short. Maybe he’s going to have her coach at his forthcoming basketball academy is about the most charitable explanation I can think of.

    Comment by timbuys — August 12, 2017 @ 5:00 pm

  4. The syndicate obviously went with the cheapest possible colorization package. Very limited palette. Most curious: Jaquan and Trey have identical skin tones. And doesn’t Jaquan look fetching in his blue shirt, blue shorts and hoodie? It’s like Garanimals for adults.

    Comment by John S. Walters — August 14, 2017 @ 5:38 am

  5. Oh, look, Heather and Moose come to the realization that it’s not Batman and Robin hiding behind the goalposts after all as they enjoy a Dejeuner sur l’Herbe(Luncheon on the Grass). The conversation gets a bit more twisted(I’m leaving if our female hero is asked to coach the air hockey team), panel by panel, until we hit an ess curve in the plot. Am I anxious to probe what Jaquan is saying in P3? Do you REALLY want never to answer that?

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — August 15, 2017 @ 11:51 am

  6. […] (Me, I was wondering if there’d be some ramifications from Jaquan Case walking around Milford in a hoodie in summertime, but Rubin spit that […]

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  7. […] think that’s supposed to be Tevin’s thumb; why would Boyd insult himself? Shades of old Eight Elbows and Jaquan Case here. Anyhoo, I expect old Gordon will be keeping tabs on the beady-eyed Spiller, who seems like […]

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