This Week in Milford

October 7, 2017

Rick, You’re No Ingrid Bergman

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Lens Flare, Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — teenchy @ 1:03 pm

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For that matter, neither is your mom, and Uncle Gary sure as hell is no Charles Boyer. Yet that’s how Rubin has chosen to address the serious up-to-the-minute issue of concussions in football: by lifting the plot of the famous 1944 thriller that lent its name to the behavior Boyer displayed. Gaslighting has been charged many times this year in reference to the current US political climate, and that’s all I have to say about that. It’ll be on Turner Classic Movies next Sunday morning, so you insomniacs can check it then and see if we’re still tracking the plot. I guess this will make Gil Joseph Cotten, but if that makes Kaz Angela Lansbury I’m all for it.

Kudos to Connie Soto for driving a four-door sedan, especially since driving a Jeep Compass or pickup at night in Milford has had some unpleasant consequences. I think she has more to worry about than Rick’s cloudy eyes, like her severed left hand that still grips the steering wheel.  Hmm, bad paper cut?

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7 Comments »

  1. So when is somebody going to call bull shit on Uncle Gary’s cloudy eye hoax?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 7, 2017 @ 1:23 pm

  2. Gary: “… I’m sure it’s nothing”.
    Mom: “You know, Gary, an Army physician presented a paper at last year’s AOA talking about concussion symptoms that present in the visual system. Rick isn’t showing papillary deficit, visual processing delays, or impaired oculomotor tracking”.
    Gary: “Well …”
    Mom: “We haven’t done a King-Devick test since the end of the game, but I can have someone check his constriction latency”.
    Gary: “I’m not sure …”
    Mom: “Or, I could ask an opthalmologist to look at it. Cloudy corneas do indicate some problems, but not concussions”.
    Gary: “Like I said, I’m sure it’s nothing”.

    Comment by Philip — October 7, 2017 @ 2:29 pm

  3. So are we in for several weeks of Uncle Gary dropping poorly-veiled hints about concussion? That’ll be… what’s the opposite of entertaining?

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 7, 2017 @ 2:43 pm

  4. I agree with my esteemed colleagues, but think it would be awkward to write Uncle Exploiter (I’m sorry, I meant “Gary”) out of the story when Rubin is no doubt right now working up the finale to be shown this winter. Somebody’s going to get a concussion in this story (it’s been foreshadowed nearly to the extreme of the 42 references to hands before Johnny Tremaine burns his) and to channel hitorque, I hope to fuck it’s Uncle Gary.

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2017 @ 3:06 pm

  5. OOOH! Do we have a concussion pool? This is the whitest Mudlarks f’ball team I can remember, so everybody’s a candidate.
    Dibs on Pelwecki! He’s the closest to incoherent.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 7, 2017 @ 4:41 pm

  6. I’m in, and admit I have a favorite. At a key moment, meddlesome Uncle Gary will rush to the sideline just as someone shanks a punt, and he will take it squarely in the face.

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2017 @ 4:49 pm

  7. We don’t have a comment of the week around here, but I would be hard pressed not vote for Phillip and/or vaganova @3:06 and @4:49 if we did.

    It’ll indeed be interesting to see whom Rubin has slated to get their bell rung. I am hoping that Rick, in an attempt to scare Uncle Gary straight, will fake a concussion. This will result in various misunderstandings and unintended consequences with valuable lessons learned as all* of the plot threads tie up in a neat package.

    * Well, this is Gil Thorp we’re talking about, I’ll settle for at least half of the plot threads being closed off by the end of the arc.

    Comment by timbuys — October 8, 2017 @ 12:20 pm


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