This Week in Milford

October 12, 2017

The Best Singer (Or So We’re Told)


So this is the song Rick Soto purportedly just sang*. I’m sure today’s strip just gave it dozens more hits on YouTube.

In true Rubin fashion we never get to read the lyrics coming from Rick’s mouth. Another tease, just like the tease that we may finally know the lyrics to Milford High’s fight song (and there were some good stabs at it in yesterday’s comments). Just another reminder of the weird pacing of this strip, in which the Mudlarks have played one game while high schools in the real world have mostly played at least six or seven.

In true Whigham fashion we get a Milford girl festooned with chunky bracelets and big earrings in the way no teenage girl accessorizes today. We also get Rick’s unnaturally flat palms facing the speaker in best back off ease up fashion, another Whigham hallmark. Finally, from the Pantheon of Hair Department it’s sideburns: Rick’s oddly shaggy ones and Pelwecki’s greasy strands that threaten to clump together as sideburns.

Wait – did someone mention the dozens? Maybe it’s time for a game.

“Pelwecki’s hair is so greasy, he could fry chicken in it.”

“Uncle Gary’s such a crap lawyer he’s trying to hitch a ride on his nephew’s back as an agent.”

*Were you as disappointed as I was that it wasn’t a George Harrison cover? If so, this should help you get over it.



  1. Wow he best in Milford. That’s saying a lot. That should win him the Voice.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 12, 2017 @ 7:32 am

  2. Since WHEN has Milford been the talent pipeline to Hollywood? Ms. T is making it sound like Soto could execute a quantum leap from the stage at the Milford Bar ‘n’ Grill to Carnegie Hall. This is playing out to a badly-maneuvered version of “Face on the Cutting Room Floor”(song by a group I have loved FOREVER, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)

    He’s history
    No one would give him a star on the walk
    He’d have a hundred if pillows could talk
    Where have I seen him beforreee
    He’s a face on the cutting room floor

    It’s no mystery
    Singing in school at the tenderest age
    Lit up the room when he stepped on the stage
    Came to LA for some morrrrreee
    He’s the face on the cutting room floor

    He had visions of contracts and thousands of people in line
    To see him
    Knocking on door after door after all of this time
    He’s not sure

    Oh, but Uncle Gary’ll take care of the last part since he presumably NEVER takes no for an answer. You just keep those vocal cords fresh, Rick, and don’t worry about my disappointment that it wasn’t a Harrison cover. That’s just the Beatle fan in me. Keep reaching for the stars.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 12, 2017 @ 8:31 am

  3. Being the best singer at Milford High is like being the funniest character in Funky Winkerbean.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 12, 2017 @ 8:36 am

  4. Possible story line: Uncle Gary finally convinces Rick’s mom that her son is at risk, so she pulls him off the team. Gil is forced to play an unfit sophomore at tackle. Mike Filion is sacked in the next-to-last game, and diagnosed with a concussion. The ‘Larks drop their last two and miss the playdowns. Rick, realizing how he was cravenly used, resolves to give up singing forever, and will become a marine biologist (he gets confused about what that means, and shows up at the front gate of Camp Pendleton. Hilarity ensues). The Milford Mob, who had ten large bet on the Valley Tech game, decide to give Uncle Gary a concussion of his very own.
    And – is “You do that better than Ed Sheeran” about to become a meme?

    Comment by Philip — October 12, 2017 @ 8:58 am

  5. I think Philip’s hypothesis is as good as any– I’m guessing here. I was sure Nick would go blank trying to sing, but that would have advanced the plot too quickly. The only things I’m sure of are that someone will get a concussion and that Gary will get his uppance. Will he get in the coaches’ faces on the sideline, and after Kaz tells him to “ease up,” get clocked? Or will Herk the Mauler show up with a free sub, mistake Gary for a heckler from his last visit, and put him through the scoreboard? My earlier idea– Gary gets hit in the head with a shanked punt– is not that good. Shanks don’t have enough force on them.

    Comment by vaganova — October 12, 2017 @ 10:00 am

  6. The Whigham hands always have a sort of Uncanny Valley character — just slightly unnatural, as if a puppeteer is holding up fake hands to emphasize the dialogue. You don’t notice at first, but once you do… you can’t shake that vague feeling of unease.

    Which is exactly what I count on the Comix Pages to provide, amirite?

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 12, 2017 @ 1:49 pm

  7. So, I am about to hit play on that Ed Sheeran video and my sense of trepidation knows no bounds*. Once I’ve had time to process this pop artifact, I’ll check back in.

    * I was kinda expecting my kids to keep me clued into the things that are going on these days but they so far have shown no interest in helping the old man stay current. To think, the only reason I am familiar with Megan Trainor’s hit debut single is that I was sitting in a rental car, listening to the Motown/Oldies R&B channel on satellite radio when for reasons unknown to me, the subscription lapsed and defaulted to a pop station. It took me a few moments to recognize what had happened but I was abruptly aware that the new song I was listening to certainly didn’t sound much like Stevie or Al Green or even Rufus and Chakha Khan. Regardless, I was temporarily fascinated by the composition of the song. That said, onwards to find out what ‘Ed Sheeran’ is all about.

    Comment by timbuys — October 12, 2017 @ 2:06 pm

  8. Two things that have never been said at any school. “You’re the best singer at this school!” And “EVERY school has a best singer.”

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 12, 2017 @ 4:19 pm

  9. Finally got home & watched the Sheeran video.
    No. Just no.
    Absolutely not a song anyone would sing to a crowd of teenagers at a burger joint.
    Even if they were a Victoria’s Secret Cupid trying out their new arrows by blasting randomly.

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 12, 2017 @ 4:30 pm

  10. The takes on the performance that Soto presumably gave by our writers today are great as we are faced with the unpleasant task of sorting out who sung what. And downpuppy, you come through again as you caught me off guard with your hilarious AND true assessment in regards to Soto’s attempt at a career in singing, and the futile result thereof, to this point anyway.
    But Harrison’s version, while meaning something to the Beatle fan in me, is likewise not exactly a footstomping carouser, not something to get up on the table a la Springsteen, kicking off the mustard bottle and napkin dispenser in the process, and try to get everybody to clap to. No banjos or jew’s harp or any other instrument relating remotely close to resembling a Boy Scout Jamboree synchronizes with this particular number. I love “Give Me Love” but I’m not betting that Soto will get up on the counter and air-guitar this one. Uncle Gary won’t bail him out this time and that’s saying something.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 12, 2017 @ 8:25 pm

  11. I’m going to annoy everyone by asking if anyone has seen mention of any vocal training for Nick Soto. If not, I’m going to be pissed, because it furthers the canard that “some people can just sing well” when in fact singing takes as much training as any other kind of musical performance. David Crosby, Stephen Stills, and Graeme Nash are trained singers. Neil Young is not. See what I mean?

    Comment by vaganova — October 13, 2017 @ 1:55 pm

  12. I see what you mean, but I’ll take Neal anyday. FWIW, I got fifty seconds into the video and stopped watching it. Based on T. Drew’s assessment I didn’t bother with the Geo. Harrison video.

    Comment by timbuys — October 16, 2017 @ 1:54 pm

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