This Week in Milford

October 16, 2017

No Time For Duck Jokes


Oh, Uncle Gary. You’re unrelenting in your disdain of football. Don’t let the Millard West Wildcats hear your dismissive jabs, or they’ll drive up(?) from Omaha, Nebraska show you what it’s like! Sit over there with your coffee cup and your barbs, we’ve got other things of import to untangle here today.

What the hell? Coach Kaz went and got a black/blue dye job? (Okay, so this is why I used the color strip today. I kind of feel like colorist mistakes are maybe the easiest and most painfully obvious things to snark on, but on some most Mondays, I’ll take just about anything I can get.) Well, Kaz, what can we say? It looks great on you. Combined with the backwards clergy collar/black tee, it’s a bold new look for you. I guess the rest of the coaching brain trust (Coach Shaw! Steve Boone! Gilbot 3000!) is too absorbed in game video to take in your bold new choices. I predict Kaz will go and rinse that color out of his hair in time for his next appearance.

So we began with a goateed a-hole and now we end with the OG goateed a-hole, Marty Moon. Marty is doing his usual, the journalistic equivalent of stepping on a gardening rake. He lobs a presumptive question at Gil. In this cliffhanger style presentation, Gil gets a whole day to formulate a snarky and insultingly dismissive answer.


  1. Here’s the break Uncle Gary’s been looking for!

    Comment by teenchy — October 16, 2017 @ 6:17 am

  2. I’d love to see a goateed a-hole face-off between Marty and Gary, which is a sure-fire sign that we won’t be getting one.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 16, 2017 @ 7:38 am

  3. A Matt Shaw sighting! Maybe we’ll get trainer Rick Scott in the near future too.

    I have to admit, I am enjoying Uncle Gary’s role as the scenery-chewing, cartoonish, poorly-disguised bad guy here. Moon filled that role so enjoyably until Rubin turned him into little more than a goateed Paul Strange.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 16, 2017 @ 8:47 am

  4. Are “Bracket” and “Mallard” Uncle Gary’s only two malaprops to date? Looking forward to more. Rubin used to deliver them directly, as in the case of the Sub Standard, back around the time of the convenience store robbery.

    Comment by vaganova — October 16, 2017 @ 8:49 am

  5. Good one, billytheskink. In fact, that may be Elvis in the second row in that portrait on the wall. And John S., definitely LMAO. “And in this corner, with a Bic Disposable Blade, weighing in…”

    All the writers are coming in with a vengeance today. And, ok, I put 2 & 2 together and deduce, Watson, that Uncle Gary is not of this Thorpiverse. But I STILL find it hard to swallow that a virtual Shylock with his shady business acumen could butcher badly names as if this were an Archie Campbell comedy sketch on Hee Haw. But Archie did that for laughs.
    Oh well, wake me up and tell me who won at the Atari 3000 Football game if and when it’s finally over.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 16, 2017 @ 11:15 am

  6. And maybe I’m getting senile but why is Marty Moon staging an interview with Coach Thorp at the Ruins of Pompeii? The line of questioning should be interesting.
    “Coach, I know the Mudlarks are in danger of getting thrown to the lions. Any strategy before the Roman guards come to call? Did you get any suggestions from Claudius that might strengthen your playbook?”
    “Oh, Marty, you know that’s a dumb question. I’ll just throw a few unsuspecting naive Freshmen to the ravenous beasts and if that won’t satiate them, I can sacrifice a trainer or two. Gambit, you know, like in chess, sacrifice a few to gain an advantage down the road. That’s been your modus operandi for 60 years.”
    “Gil, I’ll be damned if I EVER throw Peaches in the ring like that no matter how many times she’s ran around on me.”
    “I guess that’s why I’m the Coach.”
    Somewhere in the neighborhood, Pink Floyd is deftly playing “Careful With That Axe, Marty” from the live performance of the same venue…

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 16, 2017 @ 5:38 pm

  7. They built a set of stairs just like that over the Downtown Crossing T-Station. Nice place to eat lunch.

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 16, 2017 @ 7:32 pm

  8. Sounds as though things have improved in Boston. The last year I lived there, 1993, the Downtown Crossing T stop was noted mostly for a creepy old guy who stood at the top of the steps saying “I can get you a good deal on dope” under his breath.

    Comment by vaganova — October 16, 2017 @ 11:34 pm

  9. Neighborhood still sucks. Half the stores are empty & the rest bad. But they built a fancy 700′ tower in the hole where Filenes was, so they had to pretty up that corner.

    There’s been turnover, but the number of people sleeping in storefronts is about the same.

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 17, 2017 @ 10:10 am

  10. Anyone wanna lay bets on this game? I’ll give you Milford and 21 points.

    Comment by teenchy — October 17, 2017 @ 1:07 pm

  11. Ricky looks like he has just had enough of this clown and is getting ready to bitch-slap him good for once and for all in P1.

    Comment by franku2016 — October 17, 2017 @ 2:20 pm

  12. Josh posted the Friday strip with the score – 31-7

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 17, 2017 @ 5:09 pm

  13. Downpuppy, for me the slide began when they demolished the old West End to make way for Government Center (for non-Bostonians, this was the West End of the much smaller Boston which preceded the fill projects which created the Back Bay and Cambridgeport neighborhoods.) Downtown Crossing, a name which people seem to use only as a station name on the T, has been, I agree, a flop. But the old West End produced some remarkable people, from Leonard Nimoy to the legendary stripper Pagan Jones. Don’t get me wrong, Boston is still a great and vibrant city, but with all the urban renewal, a lot of babies got thrown out with the bathwater.

    Comment by vaganova — October 18, 2017 @ 11:56 am

  14. Ah, the Government Center! Johnathan Richman and the Modern Lovers have a song of the same name. I learn so much on TWIM.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 18, 2017 @ 4:17 pm

  15. Most of Boston now is gentrified & expensive. That a few blocks of Washington St – once a high end shopping district, not even the old Combat Zone – are still a bit seedy, is kind of a relief.Except for the guy who yells “SPARE CHANGE?!” in a voice that rasped 10 years ago & is now barely human.

    Macy’s is still there, but Macy’s is now the international symbol for high price/low quality.

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 18, 2017 @ 7:43 pm

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