This Week in Milford

October 21, 2017

They’ve Got Prairie Style Windows in Omaha, Too?

October 20, 2017


I got the spirit (Hey!)

It’s in my locker (Hey!)

A bottle of vodka (Hey!)

And if we win (Hey!)

We get some gin (Hey!)

And if we lose (What?)

We get no booze (Aww!)

And if we tie… (Yeah?)

We still get high! (Woo!)

— an actual chant by teenchy’s high school football team, long ago and far away

Uncle Gary just doesn’t get it. Win or lose, shared goals and camaraderie are two important lessons that can be learned from playing team sports.  In recognizing that, the teenaged Rick Soto shows himself to be far more mentally mature than his cardboard cutout shyster of an uncle. We haven’t seen team player behavior like that from a Milford athlete since True Standish, The Golden Child, let Jarrod Hale score the winning touchdown in the state championship game. So ease up, Uncle Gary; Rick might just be lining up his future roadies for when he hits it big on the Midwestern fraternal organization open mike night tour. He hasn’t even been concussed yet.  That dubious honor looks like it might fall to…

October 21, 2017


… Mike “Don’t call Me Castle” Fillllllllllllion. Well here’s a surprise – a strip featuring neither Rick Soto nor Uncle Gary but Gil flexing his old school jockocrat muscles (and his right arm with two elbows) by pulling his QB out of this unknown teacher’s class.  I can see Filion’s eyes clouding up already – oh, wait, they’re just exploding.  Making a kid nervous by yanking him out of class then telling him to relax is just the kind of mind game you’d expect from a coach whose one trick on the season is putting a linebacker in at fullback. Wonder if Gil’s gonna tell Mike that Pelwecki’s getting some reps under center next week?


  1. Saturday’s strip is as close as you can get to a complete waste of three panels. There is no action. No situation changes. No character learns a new piece of information, or changes his mind about anything. The reader does not learn anything new, except that Gil is comfortable pulling Filion out of his second-year algebraic topology class to tell him … nothing.

    Comment by Philip — October 22, 2017 @ 7:26 am

  2. At first I thought we had a couple of candidates for the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects, but then I realized Mike Fillllion’s spherical trig teacher is merely holding an unbroken Saltine, and that the object on her desk is a Hello Kitty penholder with four flat contractor pencils.

    Comment by vaganova — October 22, 2017 @ 7:53 am

  3. Maybe the final period in the Saturday strip should be an ellipsis instead. “You’re still our quarterback… and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea when we play Kevin Pelwecki for a couple of series just to confuse the opponent.” Palooka will then either throw an interception to the wrong #23 or a 40 yard bullet for a TD.

    Comment by vaganova — October 22, 2017 @ 10:09 am

  4. teenchy, you’re gonna hate me because I LOVED your title, I mean LMAO, but in P1 it looks like Red is desperately trying to talk Andy Dufresne out of making his escape from Shawshank Prison. Man, I dig that prison uni, Uncle Gary. The whole scene with the prisoners, scratch that, students is just begging the part of that movie, if we swept away the Gil Thorp title and the balloons were a blank slate. P2 is the equivalent of the part in the movie where Andy calmly says “Get busy living or get busy dying.”
    And if Rick has to crawl through a half a mile of yucky crap just to escape this plot, he has my blessing. I don’t think Uncle Gary will sink that low and follow him but I’ve been wrong before.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 22, 2017 @ 1:16 pm

  5. BTW, the pep tune was catchy. And funny. You never disappoint, My Man. And you and vaganova have a way of pillaging Fill(lllllll)ion’s nomenclature(ha). Now I know why the ancient Romans were forced to resort to V, X, M, D, etc. for their numerals. I’d hate to have to be the one etching Fill(lllll)ion’s tombstone.

    Philip, your assessments are on point. I remember when I was in school and they’d play that xylophone over the intercom to get everyone’s attention that the principal or assistant principal was about to page the teacher on the other end and normally it was to request that a student be sent down to the office, usually over something of at least a semi-serious concern(mom had to work late and would pick you up later from school, death in the family, etc.). I NEVER witnessed any office request for a student so that he could have a little fireside chat with the coach so that the student would in the end have less frazzled nerves concerning the latter’s job security at a certain position(presumably quarterback, I don’t think the tight end or left tackle got many office requests).
    And, hoo boy, talk about Milford Pantheon of Hair. P1OCT21 has a dead ringer. Our spherical trig teacher(ha ha vaganova) could not find a wig in her closet so she had to go to the utility room and fetch the mop. Or maybe that’s her bathroom rug. Yeah, that’s it.
    P2 and P3 are not much better. Fill(XVM)ion applied a liberal amount of Elmer’s Glue so that the whisk broom wouldn’t fall off. So far, so good.
    That off my chest, what is Robocop leaning on in P2? The obvious answer would be his desk but his butt is barely, if at all, clearing the desktop. An excellent sense of balance or he’s sitting on a lightning rod would be the only other logical answers.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 22, 2017 @ 7:01 pm

  6. […] Mike Filion was the Mudlark’s undersized QB last […]

    Pingback by You’re Out of Order, Bader! | This Week in Milford — May 10, 2018 @ 6:09 am

  7. […] is this imposter claiming to be Mike Filion, anyway? Whigham needs to find a model for Filion and stick with it.  No matter how he looks, […]

    Pingback by Save Filion | This Week in Milford — September 26, 2018 @ 5:56 am

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