This Week in Milford

November 16, 2017

Football Season! Music Season!


Ricky Ricardo Soto: Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over?

Uncle Gary: Sing now! Sing now!

RRS: You keep outta this! You don’t have to sing now!

UG: I do so have to sing now!

I demand that you let me sing now!

Let’s run through that again.

RRS: Okay. Would you like me to sing now or wait till football season’s over.

UG: Sing now. Sing now.

RRS: You keep outta this. You don’t have to sing now.

UG: Ha! That’s it! Hold it right there!

<Pronoun trouble.>

It’s not: “*You* don’t have to sing now.” It’s: “*I* don’t have to sing now.”  Well, I say I do have to sing now!

TWIM bloggers and readers: So shoot me now!


Andre “Hands of Stone” Ruffin, erstwhile backup tight end, has a name ripped from the police blotter.

Recycled art tag: Casa del Soto.


  1. In the absence of any compelling content, my eye is drawn inexorably to Andre Griffin’s gravity-defying backpack. One heavy-duty strap, perched on the tip of his shoulder. Amazing.

    Comment by John S. Walters — November 16, 2017 @ 8:03 am

  2. Andre Ruffin was introduced last year as a backup tight end who couldn’t catch or beat out Heather Burns or the also stone-handed Jason Weibe for playing time.

    But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know anything about singing…

    edit: My bad, billy. Will update post. – teenchy

    Comment by billytheskink — November 16, 2017 @ 8:18 am

  3. It looks like Andre’s tray is impressed. Kevin Pelwecki is transfixed by the bowl of fruit(?). I’d like to know if the lunch lady is impressed.

    When I hovered over the link to the Andre Ruffin police blotter article, I noted the address was the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, so I clicked as I’m always interested in my ancestral homeland. Maybe two or three readers might be amused by some SCTV related things in the article. The crime in question took place in West Mifflin, which SCTV fans will remember from one of Count Floyd’s scaaaary movies “Blood Sucking Monkey’s From West Mifflin, Pennsylvania”. What’s even more amusing is that the judge quoted in the article is named Flaherty, like Joe Flaherty, the SCTV performer/writer who played Count Floyd. Joe Flaherty is from Pittsburgh and most certainly was responsible for inserting numerous Pittsburgh references into the show…I find it amusing, anyway.

    Nice job, teenchy. The Looney Tunes tie in was inspired. My first glance at today strip gave me nothing but the usual weary sigh.

    Comment by nedryerson — November 16, 2017 @ 10:09 am

  4. Yes, with the tension cranked up to fever pitch, this story roars toward its exciting conclusion.
    Seriously. Nothing has happened, and nothing promises to happen, that will pass the basic “who cares” test. If Rubin wants to start his winter story on time, he has to wrap this one up in three weeks.

    Comment by Philip — November 16, 2017 @ 10:37 am

  5. Thanks, Ned. The Junkyard aims to please.

    I have lived on the other side of the state for a long time now, yet have only ventured to Pittsburgh once, and seldom get west of Lancaster. On the other hand, my wife claims I’ve been to every wide spot in the road south of DC and east of the Appalachians. That said we have had some transient yinzers in our neighborhood and I am somewhat familiar with their culture.

    Andre has jogged my memory: I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or a trend that Rubin has pulled another of his player names from the blotter. I’d have to consult our SID to find out if it’s been done more than twice, but it’s something to ponder.

    Comment by teenchy — November 16, 2017 @ 11:01 am

  6. It’s football season not music season. What does that mean? You can’t sing during football season you mild sprained ankle pud?! You don’t have time for Algebra homework because it’s football season, right? How are you eligible? It’s tough doing 2 things at once in a 4 month period eh Rick?
    Wow! Great recollection Ned! I guess it helps to be from Pittsburgh because I don’t remember that one.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 16, 2017 @ 11:17 am

  7. P4: “ok, uncle fuck-o”

    Comment by franku2016 — November 16, 2017 @ 3:32 pm

  8. Maybe a pool would help. How many days before Rick and his mom tie UG in a sack and ship him back to California in the baggage compartment of a Greyhound? There are lots of questions, beginning with the hazy proposition that UG has come in as a “father figure” while Richard Sr is overseas, but that mom is tolerating the problem that he’s become an “asshole figure” instead. But I’m not that interested in the answers. In vaudeville terms, time for the hook.

    Comment by vaganova — November 16, 2017 @ 3:43 pm

  9. I’ve been amused by a couple of recent references to Ricky as a ‘pud’, a term I haven’t heard in a long time. Little known fact: “Pud” was the original name of the Doobie Brothers.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — November 16, 2017 @ 11:03 pm

  10. Moon, I remember becoming aware of the word pud in junior high as yet another word in the dick, dork, prick family. I remember cracking up with a friend when we discovered a character named Pud in the Bazooka Joe comics on the bubble gum wrappers. Good times.

    Comment by nedryerson — November 17, 2017 @ 6:51 am

  11. Ya got trouble, RIGHT HERE IN MILFORD. And that starts with T and it rhymes with G and that spells GARY

    Is Ricardo down at the pool hall smokin’ dope?
    Is his injuries beyond hope?
    Does Coach T thrash him with every inch of his life?
    Does UG like to instigate the strife?

    If so, ya got trouble, RIGHT HERE IN MILFORD. And that starts with T and rhymes with G and that spells GARY

    THINK OF IT, my friends(Trouble, Trouble)
    Ricardo’s viral videos will never end(Trouble, Trouble)
    UG will be soaking up the sun in Cancun(Trouble, Trouble)
    From exploiting a poor teenager who grew up too soon(Trouble, Trouble)

    And that means TROUBLE. RIGHT HERE IN MILFORD. And that starts with T and rhymes with G AND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! GARYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 17, 2017 @ 9:10 am

  12. At first I was going to say I wish I had a parent/uncle who was this determined to drag me to greatness and success whether I wanted it or not, but Gary Glitter is creeping awfully close to “Marv Marinovich/Lavar Ball” territory…

    And I don’t know what purgatory universe Milford is in when a dude who supposedly sings as well as Ricky Martin doesn’t have girlies draped all over him…

    Comment by hitorque — November 17, 2017 @ 11:24 am

  13. […] we go again, but it’s not a dispute as to whether sportsball should take precedence over non-sportsball extracurriculars but the modern […]

    Pingback by More Pronoun Trouble | This Week in Milford — September 14, 2022 @ 2:30 pm

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