This Week in Milford

December 30, 2017

He goes on after some lip-sync chicks


On this waxed up floor and these painted halls
My dad showed up and grew some balls
Tonight, tonight, we’re gonna run the veer
My creepy uncle’s outta here

New Thayer had us down six-oh
Then we got the veer to flow
Took a hit and I got up slow
Knocked out? Rick Scott didn’t know
Doctors said I was good to go
Football, not just talent shows
Gary told mom to say “no”
Told me to play talent shows

Well Uncle Gary never said “‘Bye, Rick”
Always knew he was kind of a dick
I’m feelin’ good since that knee I took
Oh, Gary, always givin’ that look

First I had a mild sprain
Doc made me skip a game
Coach Thorp made me take it slow
Least I got to sing at home
Uncle Gary salts the mine
Makes a YouTube video
Just wanna play the line
Not just play at talent shows

Well it’s the slowest year in my life I guess
In just two weeks, it’s Valley Tech
Season’s been a wreck…

Can they roll
Without Soto?
Coach Thorp, he can use the phone
‘Cause my mom, well, she don’t know

Might be playin’ in the snow
Week before the talent show
My old man still calls me “kiddo”
We might still play in March, you never know

It’s too late for playdowns, here we go…

(profuse apologies P. Westerberg)






  1. It’s starting to look like Rubin is going to end it here and start the basketball story Monday. I was almost looking forward to seeing Milford playing regular season football after the NFL season ended.

    Comment by Philip — December 30, 2017 @ 4:21 pm

  2. Good choice, teenchy. The Replacements, along with Husker Du, represented the Minneapolis Punk and Rock scene VERY well. It’s a crime neither group never got their full due. I was buying their stuff long before they were in vogue. Not that I’m saying to anyone “I told you so.” It’s just that they just ROCKED at a time in the ’80’s when Rock in general had hit a lull(Time or Newsweek, can’t remember which one, posted an article on that lull in the action). Again, excellent choice.

    I like your “Jeez, Louise”, John S. I remember a prison guard using that expression in the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”. And I don’t blame you for using it in a plot long since worn out it’s welcome.

    Today’s headline in the Milford Enquirer
    “Pete Best on Drums At The Milford Civic Auditorium!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    “Fifth Beatle Backing Local Teen Who Was Performing ‘New York, New York’.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 30, 2017 @ 6:28 pm

  3. Holy cow – 2 more games??!! On December 30th? Just when you thought it was safe to cover the field. Who figured Dad would come home for New Years and still catch 2 games? Milford football going where no man has gone before…

    Comment by robmize2013 — December 30, 2017 @ 6:37 pm

  4. As if this strip’s treatment of its female protagonist wasn’t enough of a crime against humanity, now we’re closing out the story with an extended celebration of a character (male, of course) who JUST FREAKIN’ SHOWED UP. Between Connie’s continuous simpering, Soto Sr.’s unmerited star turn and Gil smirking because he was the brains behind this awful denouement, well… this story went beyond Rubin’s usual ineptitude and strayed into offensiveness.

    Between this and The Awful Death Of Boo Radley, Plot Device, I’m starting to wonder how long I’ll be able to continue reading this strip, even if only for mockage purposes.

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 30, 2017 @ 9:05 pm

  5. Mocking is the ONLY reason to tune in to Gil Thorp, John S. (Didn’t Vince Lombardi say that?)
    T Drew, good call on those bands. But if they got there due they wouldn’t be punk right? They’d be Green Day. Ugh!
    They gave me one week but I’ll make it two. Ok. Sounds like he got fired. He’ll need Ricks singing career more than Gary. Only if football season makes it to February I suppose.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 31, 2017 @ 11:25 am

  6. Doesn’t every school talent show usually include one bit where the football team dresses as cheerleaders?
    Maybe for Milford the football team can dress up like Ronettes and back up Ricky as he sings “Be My Baby”.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — December 31, 2017 @ 1:38 pm

  7. Happy New Year’s Eve everybody! I’m in New Orleans conducting an impromptu anthropological study on the differences and similarities between Auburn and Alabama college football fans. I hope y’all are having as much fun as I am and are staying as far away from Auburn and Alabama college football fans who’ve been drinking all day as possible!

    Comment by timbuys — December 31, 2017 @ 5:30 pm

  8. Timbuys, we just spent two days earlier this week in Nashville at the Music City Bowl, staying clear of drunk Kentucky fans! Not that any of us Northwestern alums were sober.
    Have a great time, there’s nothing like being at a bowl game.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — December 31, 2017 @ 5:58 pm

  9. Knock back a Sazerac for me, Tim. I seldom interact with Tide fans but have had more than a lifetime’s worth of encounters with fans of the ‘barn.

    Comment by teenchy — December 31, 2017 @ 6:58 pm

  10. […] left over from 2017 and it’s today’s insufferable, self-congratulatory stinker! The previous strip told us there were two more football games and a talent show. We learn via post season hive fiving […]

    Pingback by This Week in Milford — January 1, 2018 @ 7:53 am

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