This Week in Milford

January 13, 2018

Gil Thorp Doesn’t Care About Huddled Masses

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Boy, I sure feel like trotting out my New Yorker-referencing post from last March. Could Gil be any more of an insensitive prick? Jordy’s cousin Jorge has had his home destroyed and is just looking for some semblance of order in his life right about now. All Gil cares about is that the kid isn’t as tall and broad as he’d like in the showers on the court. Remember, Gil, you go to war with the basketball team you have, not the one you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Surely Coach Thorf can pull out his Little Golden Book of Sports Strategies from the Early 20th Century and find one suitable for a team full of guards. Small ball, run-and-gun, a lot of forced switching up on defense, with a focus on speed, agility and a whole lot of conditioning training – the options for a size-challenged basketball team are out there. Then again, for a coach who pulls old formations and strategies out of his ass mid-season and expects his players to adapt almost immediately, that may be too much to expect.

Jordy Castillo is becoming that rarest of birds in the Thorpiverse: a guy with a goatee who isn’t a cardboard villain or fly in the ointment.  Jorge looks to come from good stock.

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11 Comments »

  1. Three panels devoted to Gil complaining about lack of height. Or maybe he’s just a funny guy. But looks aren’t everything.
    No it’s not too soon Teenchy. Nice one.
    I hope this isn’t too soon. I hear there’s some allegations against Oprah. Former male interns have alleged FORCED CUDDLING! OH THE HUMANITY!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 13, 2018 @ 9:33 am

  2. Since the casual dismissal of human tragedy has already been covered, I’ll focus on the fact that Gil is proving Marty Moon right. His idea of recruiting players is to wait for them to fall into his lap, and then ask if they have any cousins.

    Maybe a nice, tall white boy from Montecino will wind up staying with relatives in Milford because of the wildfires and deadly mudslides in California. That’d be a lucky break for Gil, wouldn’t it?

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 13, 2018 @ 11:08 am

  3. I decided to pull out my own Little Golden Book Of Sports Strategies — that would be Google — and searched for “all guard basketball offense.” First hit: The “5-out motion offense.” From the introduction:

    “The 5-out motion offense is a fantastic primary offense for basketball teams at any level, but especially youth basketball teams. It’s a positionless offense that relies on spacing the floor and a set of rules that assists players to determine their movements and actions. Due to players making decisions and reading the play of their teammates and defenders, the 5-out motion offense is great for teaching players how to play basketball.”

    Gosh, a “fantastic primary offense” that’s “great for teaching players how to play basketball.” Sounds ideal for an undermanned high school squad. If only Gil and Kaz knew how to use the Internet!

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 13, 2018 @ 11:13 am

  4. Am I going blind or is that Grandfather Clock, of Captain Kangaroo fame, eavesdropping on things in P2? Maybe he can drop a tip or two on tall, talented Hispanico players and how to track them down. Hey, I bet he reads Street & Smith’s Basketball Prospect List when he’s not acting on the set with Mr. Green Jeans or Bunny Rabbit. For that matter, Mr. Moose watches a lot of ESPN and, boy, does he and Grandfather Clock go to town on who the next Jordan will be, regardless of nationality.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 13, 2018 @ 12:13 pm

  5. Jorge’s southern accent is to be expected if Spanish was only language spoken at their Georgia home. Jorge’s English would be learner from the kids he hung around with. I knew a man from Venezuela who learned his English as a grad student in England. Spoke like a Brit, using British slang like chap as we use dude…

    Comment by rowdyman — January 13, 2018 @ 12:59 pm

  6. If the kid plays like Adrian Dantley, it could be a decent basketball story.

    Comment by Aldrich Therabloat® (@Downpuppy) — January 13, 2018 @ 2:20 pm

  7. The “5 out motion offense” sounds a lot like the soccer strategy known as “the swirl,” or to the Dutch who invented it, “total football.” All you need is eleven Beckenbauers, instead of players with assorted flaws. In both the soccer version and the basketball version, you need all players who can see the entire field or court and anticipate what everyone is about to do next. Usually you are lucky to have any such players on a high school team.

    Comment by vaganova — January 13, 2018 @ 4:24 pm

  8. I don’t know 5-motion offense from a hole in the ground, but the description does say it’s especially great for “youth basketball teams” and “great for teaching players how to play basketball.” Which doesn’t sound like you need five Steve Nashes to run it, but like I said, I’m treading on the minefield of ignorance here.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 14, 2018 @ 4:06 am

  9. I’m not sure about this either, John S (I’m not a basketball coach) but it sounds like a system for getting inexperienced players familiar with all aspects of the game. But I suspect that against a trained and organized team, it would require high skill levels across the board.

    Comment by vaganova — January 14, 2018 @ 9:10 am

  10. @rowdyman, I think my favorite similar experience was working with this one guy, initially exclusively over the phone. His voice and presentation suggested everything of a stodgy, almost but not quite pompous, Oxford Don. It was fun just to listen to him speak. Imagine my surprise to meet him some time later only to encounter this fresh off a fashion magazine, young Indian dude who otherwise emanated Southern California cool. Just, y’now, with this deep, measured timbre that evoked academia, not sales (or ‘solutions’ as we called it).

    Comment by timbuys — January 14, 2018 @ 2:15 pm

  11. […] Jorge Padilla, like his MLB namesake, is an outfielder. We’ll find out if that skinny kid can jump and rob hitters of […]

    Pingback by You’re Out of Order, Bader! | This Week in Milford — May 10, 2018 @ 6:09 am


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