This Week in Milford

February 13, 2018

This Plot Is Stupid But It Sure Is Fun

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Fontastic, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — tdrewhardin @ 4:07 am


Sometime in Winter 1998

“…Jalen into the Big Fella. He’s got a Double team. Kicks it back out to Padilla. 10 on the shot clock. Padilla into D Squared. Nothing doing. 6 on the shot clock. Skip pass to Jackson. 3 on the shot clock. Jackson cross-court pass to Padilla. GEORGIE FOR 33333333333…”                              “BOOM BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”                                What coulda been. And to think I am getting more basketball in my memory, courtesy Mark Boyle and Slick Leonard, than I am from The Dove who is, as I believe one of our writers mentioned the other day, is basketball’s version of Dafne Dafonte, or affectionately operating under her sobriquet, Daffy Duck.

Dove, how can I put this? Hmmmm, well, y’know, I think it kinda sorta goes like this, y’see, if you weren’t under the bleachers fomenting a rebellion in the name of Chairman Mao, Cesar Chavez, Ho Chi Minh, Groucho Marx(oops, wrong Marx family), Abraham Lincoln, Curt Flood, Buzz Sawyer(I guess comic strip characters form unions too), yada, yada, yada, you might be able to locate the broadcast booth, the one with a microphone on the table, and, granted, it would take a little doing as it would be semi-tough to squeeze your protest in while Mr. Moon, or your favorite local broadcaster(one is alloted in every town by dint of the basketball gods’ distribution plan-from each according to a town’s basketball roster to each according to the size of the crowd, as long as Marxism is creeping in among us) but they do eventually take a break(commercials factor into the equation) so feel free to notify Mr. Moon at the first commercial advertising Milford Heating and Cooling. And what is the deal sending SOMEBODY ELSE to make the correction? Are there more out in the hallway just as upset and itchin’ for a scrap? Are they sharing a Sanka with Mr. Anonymous Calculus Dude from yesterday in the WDIG break lounge? Is the break lounge just as posh as WDIG’s digs?

Heard on somebody’s radio as a driver is going to work, third shift at the local factory

“…the Big Fella finds an open Whore-Hay FOR 333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!…”                      “BOOM BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!”                                       “THAT’S JORGE, YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S TWICE NOW!!!!!!!! GET IT CORRECTLY  OR I’M SUING!!!!!!!!!!”          And telling Milford’s version of J. R. Ewing where to drill for oil around rural Mudlarkland? Good luck with that. You might as well tell Jesse James where to shoot his brother when Jorge(don’t have a cow, Man) is staring down the barrel of a Colt 45. You DID notice the Falcon Crest surroundings, Karina and Duncan, no?

“…re-vo-LUT-ion, weeellll, ya know, we all do with what we cannnnn                                       But if ya have pictures of Anonymous Calculus Guuuuyyyyyyyyy                                  All I can tell you is, Brother, to just stand by                                                                   Cuz ya know it’s gonna be ALL RIGHT…”

Since the plot is once again in neutral with the engine running, a quick shout-out to the Austin, Indiana Fuel Mart who keep my humor going and got some great food in the bargain. You brighten a lot of people’s day.                                                         And since there’s no basketball on the horizon today, I will salvage today’s strip with another song, and believe me, I tried to resist, but you know us Todd Rundgren fans. Gotta strike while the opportunity arises. Sung to “We Gotta Get You a Woman”


Jorge, boy, is that you?

I’m glad your Nerfhoop days are through

Slam dunk things that block your view

Do it all

With the ball

There’s only thing left they gotta  dooo

It’ll help the Mudlarks to pull throughhhh



We gotta make you a starter

It’s like nothing else for ailing plots to keep it aliiivvvveeeee

We gotta make you a starter

You better report in

You’re wasting time snortin’



Talking ’bout staaannndding at the free throw line(wah wah oooooo)

2 shots with everything on the line(wah wah oooooo)

Sink both of them and you’ll be fine

And Milford will be primed to get this thing together(get this thing together)


We gotta make you a starter, etc.

And when the day is through

Game ball goes to youuuuu.


Today’s Black History Month person is Mary Fields or affectionately known as Stagecoach Mary. She delivered mail for several years, under contract with the United States Postal Service, to central Montana during the late 1800’s. She NEVER missed a delivery and we’re talking even in the winter when Montana, as I’m sure our readers know, gets tons of snow. She was instrumental in the development of the state(Montana admitted to the Union in 1889) as without her services, the growing pains of early Montana would have been that much more severe. VERY handy with a rifle. Nobody dared ambush her as she was like Annie Oakley, peaceful but knew how to shoot, if necessary. Please, where you can, spread the word about another historical figure dear to my heart. Thanks for reading.

Gang, it’s your turn. I’m going to sneak out the back entrance of WDIG. I’d rather not get run over in the coup d’etat.



  1. No matter how disappointing the rest of this season turns out to be, we’ll always have that priceless Marty Moon expression in panel 2. The one that says “My specialty is ‘career counseling’ for underage blondes.”

    Comment by John S. Walters — February 13, 2018 @ 6:40 am

  2. I’m digging the font on that WDIG sign. Nice going chief. T. Drew, if you don’t mind, I’ll slap a few category tags on this post for Marty and a few other items of interest.

    As it is, I’m afraid Karina may not be the fiery SJW (wait, Libertarians aren’t SJW are they, gosh I get so confused some times) we thought she was, what with only demanding ‘a little respect’ for Jorge. Karina, this is one of Milford’s biggest jerks making light of one of America’s biggest disasters. Maybe you should come on a little stronger. I guess we’ll see if things move forward tomorrow.

    Comment by timbuys — February 13, 2018 @ 8:47 am

  3. Based on my reading of the strips since the appearance of the “token libertarian”, I’m even sure if Karina Hartley is the token libertarian.

    Comment by nedryerson — February 13, 2018 @ 10:01 am

  4. the art work in panel one is horrible Looks like it was done by a third grader. Duncan in particular is generic at best. One step over a stick figure.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — February 13, 2018 @ 11:10 am

  5. Sorry, timbuys, I’ve been sleeping all day from that surgery the day before. The medicine from it, i. e., painkillers just KNOCKED ME OUT. I felt like Frazier after Ali lit him up in the Thrilla in Manila. Anyway, sure, do what you gotta do, I am always learning. It’s a privilege, not a right, to do comedy. Again, I live by the Consent of the Governed.
    Great comments so far, gang. They’re all FUNNY. I like token libertarian, ned. That hit it. One in every school(ha). You guys rock.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 13, 2018 @ 2:06 pm

  6. Cool. T.Drew. Nothing I had to do. I just enjoy the secondary jokes of the tags.

    @ Bobby Joe, please consider the sheen of that shiny floor. Has Steve Luhm taken to moonlighting at WDIG. If so, he’d better never let Gil find out about his misappropriation of Milford High School property. Namely, a mop, a bucket and the slopwater contained therein.)

    Didn’t realize you were in recovery. Hope all went well!

    Comment by timbuys — February 13, 2018 @ 2:51 pm

  7. It appears the real story of this roundball series will be Moon’s idiocy (with, I hope, a parallel story of the girls team and Paloma.) That said, we are far from a conclusion at this point and there will be endless complications to the plot until baseball/softball season begins in July. Just for fun, wouldn’t it be cool if Paloma is also a softball pitcher, unafraid to buzz the opponent? (Maybe I’m too fixated on the Central City punk’s line in the Kenzie Hanley story, “You woke my yaw!”)

    Comment by vaganova — February 13, 2018 @ 4:15 pm

  8. I meant to say, I’m not even sure if Karina is the same person as the libertarian, but I don’t think it really matters.

    I’m glad Duncan Levin showed up because we all know how committed Duncan Levin is to social justice.

    Duncan Levin!

    Comment by nedryerson — February 13, 2018 @ 7:04 pm

  9. Thanks, timbuys, for the concern. The sleep several hours, text, repeat process(ha) really did the trick. Plus the medications backed up by a VERY caring hospital staff helped. Thanks again, Big Guy.

    Gang, again, some great comments today, y’all done good. I have found, based on an old Chinese saying, that KNOWING is the barrier that prevents LEARNING. I only get better when I listen. As my grandpa passed on to my dad who passed onto me, you can’t please ’em all(impossible), but you can listen to ’em all. Great job again, people. Now it’s time to hibernate once again(ha ha).

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 13, 2018 @ 9:37 pm

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