This Week in Milford

March 15, 2018

Why Does Dr. Pearl Hate Freedom?


I don’t have bluebonnets to frolic through – maybe a crocus or two poking through the snow – but I can’t bring myself to analyze today’s strip. Seriously, what is this bullshit? Since when does a school need its sporting events broadcast? We already know that need is not universal. Does Marty have a pee tape of Dr. Pearl stashed somewhere? Or could there still be ramifications from that time Dr. Pearl had Marty’s sister shitcanned as the school counselor to settle a lawsuit that arose from Marty’s sister giving Marty fake news that he used to derail a coach’s career?

Something tells me Dr. Pearl refers to the Civil War as “the late unpleasantness” and would be one of those school officials who would threaten disciplinary action for school protesters, no matter how peaceful. She treats the students like second-class citizens, not unlike Puerto Ricans. (Yeah, I went there.) I’m going to hold out the tiniest thread of hope that Gil’s “But what if…” cliffhanger will give the kids an out to continue protesting Marty. Probably with posters, knowing that just like raised fists they can’t be heard on the radio.


  1. Dr. Pearl has always been a publicity hound for Milford High. Stuff like the televised Bishop Tardy basketball game and that stupid reality show plot: Dr. Pearl backed those steadfastly in the face of Gil’s opposition.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 15, 2018 @ 7:33 am

  2. Why is a HS basketball coach continually meeting with a female student about non x and o’s basketball stuff? Gil is so creepy.
    It’s Rock n Roll Thhhhuuuuurrrrsssdaaaayyy!
    Today I will present 3 garage/punk bands who had short lived careers, but contributed a few great songs. The punk scene was littered with bands who certainly weren’t commercial success’s , but made great contributions non the less.
    Starting with The Penetrstors from Syracuse, NY. Appearing on Fred Records, these guys had 3 great songs in the late 70’s early 80’s. “Teenage Lifestyle “ talks about the fun and frustration of being a teenager. Lyrics like, “I’m driving a car, rides like heaven, I wanna stay out , at least til 11”. Poor guys. Curfew?
    Then we have “#1 Band in Town” and “Shopping Bag” two genuine rocking tunes. “#1” boasts, “We’re the Penetrators, we don’t f around, cuz we’re the number one band in this town!” “Shopping Bag” mentions the Chuck Barris game show Gong Show.
    On to the Frantix and punk rock band from Denver. Lead singer Marc Deaton must’ve had rocky relation with pops. Best song from them is “ My Dad’s an F’n Alcoholic “ and another feel good song called “ My Dads Dead”. In “My Dads a f’n… “ he well, maybe not croons but exclaims “ My dad tells me not to smoke, he tells me not to drink. Who the f*** would listen! He’s drunk, he can’t think!” But hey, he turned misery into punk rock gold! These aren’t tear jerkers though. Turn it up! And keep volume up when you listen too “ Dancin’ to Punk Rock”.
    Lastly, I turn to the Electric Eels from Cleveland. These guys didn’t get along with each other, nor cops and fans. From what I’ve read, they only played 5 or 6 shows due to violence at their concerts due to fighting with themselves, cops and fans. But, they practiced constantly, meaning their music not fighting, and as a result put out some solid music. On the album “Eye Ball of Hell” they have the tunes,”Agitated”, You’re Full of Shit” and “Anxiety “. Vocalist Dave McManus has a unique voice. Listen for yourself.
    All the songs I mentioned should go on your Spotify playlist or whatever music service you may have. Go Loyola Ramblers and as always, ROCK ON!!!!!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 15, 2018 @ 8:18 am

  3. “I can’t let you drown out Marty Moon again.”

    “You and what army, Gildo?”

    Comment by John S. Walters — March 15, 2018 @ 11:24 am

  4. Teenchy is usually really good at predicting the next line, and I suspect Gil is going to drop a hint about posters. He’s somewhat out of line in telling Karina that he can’t let her group drown out Marty, but he’s also said “sometimes there’s an outburst.” I know I am in the minority in this, but I remember times when Gil worked the kids out of a jam with no harm to anyone who didn’t deserve it, and this time he is pretty clearly on their side, as evidenced by the clear implication that he proposed banning Marty from the gym.

    Teenchy is also right about broadcasting high school games. I live in a county of about 200,000 with eight radio stations, and as far as I know they broadcast only “big games,” for example should unbeaten arch-rivals meet for the sectional championship. The “paper” has an extensive local sports section, and with important games the seven TV stations seem always to run “film at 11.”

    Comment by vaganova — March 15, 2018 @ 12:47 pm

  5. Up until now, Rubin has just let this story happen, rather than the teasing/hiding that he usually pulls, aka “What’s Uncle Gary up to?” “What’s Aardark’s problem?”
    So he has to let us dangle a day to hear Gil’s Geenyus Plan?
    I can live with that.

    Comment by Jael's tent peg (@Downpuppy) — March 15, 2018 @ 2:09 pm

  6. I really try not to comment when the issue gets thorny. As I have said, this is a comedy blog, not “Crossfire”. Still, having been a high school booster and seen my nephew play ball for 12 years(not to mention SEVERAL players when I was coaching Babe Ruth League baseball) plus seen 2 of my nieces be cheerleaders, here’s my take on the situation. First off, Marty Moon is without a doubt a VERY pompous ass and the students were within their bounds to speak their minds as per the Constitution, citing Right to Free Speech and Right to Peaceful Assembly. STILL, Dr. Pearl, much as I call her Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies a lot, has a point. It IS a school function and much as I sympathize with their plight, protests like the other day can lead to fist fights, unfortunately there’s always idiots looking for a scrap and it just takes a spark to get a fire going. Their actions, reluctant as I am to say it, were inflammatory and stuff like that can interfere with the school process as a result. With all due respect to the ones aggrieved, a better solution would be to not show up for the game. Hit ’em in the pocketbook. Believe me, the town I used to live in, the University got arrogant running the basketball program UNTIL the stadium was HALF FULL. Then the University started listening. Amazing. Now they’re not surprisingly back to capacity attendance and that was with a 7-11 record this year in the conference. I support Right to Peaceful Assembly. If it’s violent, like Gandhi, I want NO PART OF IT. But a better solution would be to just not enter the gym. Gate receipts down in the mouth and I promise you, SOMETHING will be done about Marty. That’s as far as I want to go, with all due respect. Being a high school booster for many years has been fun and I want to understandably keep it that way.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 15, 2018 @ 9:56 pm

  7. I’m sorry, exactly WHY do they need to “accommodate” Marty?? This is just administrative cowardice…

    What fucking year is it in the Milfordverse anyway? Folks really think some rinky-dink small town radio audience is lucrative enough to tolerate Marty’s bullshit? These people do know that schools broadcasting (and now live streaming on social media) their own games has been a thing for decades, right?

    Comment by hitorque — March 16, 2018 @ 10:16 am

  8. […] WDIG broadcast and to protest Marty’s culturally insensitive references to Jorge Padilla via occasional outbursts. The outbursts haven’t been protests so much as snark; only Pirate Boy has even brought up […]

    Pingback by Pining for the fjords? No, just for some actual sports action | This Week in Milford — March 31, 2018 @ 9:15 pm

  9. […] enjoying Gil’s mental gymnastics as he justifies the broad hints he threw at Karina. (I’m also wondering how that laundry basket got more cubical […]

    Pingback by Marty Blowed Up Real Good! | This Week in Milford — April 5, 2018 @ 7:18 am

  10. […] star chamber that is the Milford School Board. Carol, who looks suspiciously like Ray Walston or Dr. Pearl (minus the bun) is dissuading the hirsute Mr. (no first name yet) Ballard from bringing up the […]

    Pingback by The 20th Hole? | This Week in Milford — August 3, 2019 @ 7:19 pm

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