This Week in Milford

March 24, 2018

Clowntime Is Over


I really feel for Paloma Padilla (remember her?): what started out as an indignant response to Marty’s callous, bigoted attitude toward her brother, her fellow Puerto Ricans, and their plight turned, in the hands of her erstwhile friend Karina and the horrible, nebbishy stereotype Duncan Levin, into a clown show. Worse still, the Milford kids – from the Dollanganger family in the Goshen stands to the mullet with the bad knockoff Joy Division t-shirt on his Dove Bar laptop at home – are lapping it up. Where’s that Al-Jo Ames when you need her (and how dated does that last hyperlinked strip look now)?

At this point I keep hoping against hope for any one of the following, in no particular order:

  1. MPN streams another Milford game, preferably the girls’ game, and plays it straighter than this. Can’t happen: mostly immature MHS kids can’t not be goofs.
  2. Los Morenos rejects WDIG and sponsors MPN. It’s possible: Dr. Pearl would love the revenue.
  3. Marty gets fired. Never in a million years: Marty is a permanent landmark on the Milford landscape, the eternal Iago to Gil’s Othello.

Musical inspiration for today’s post:



  1. Ignoring the implausible popularity of Duncan The Pirate, I’ll offer some other Marty/Gil pairings: He’s the Salieri to Gil’s Mozart. He’s the Mr. Mxyzptlk to Gil’s Superman. He’s the Emil Sitka to Gil’s Moe. He’s the Bluto to Gil’s Popeye. He’s the Coyote to Gil’s Roadrunner.

    Comment by John S. Walters — March 24, 2018 @ 12:23 pm

  2. They’re laughing at not with Dunc, right?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 24, 2018 @ 1:18 pm

  3. teenchy, GREAT comparison. As Shakespeare duly noted, “All the world’s a stage and we are the actors.” This act has been running a little too long(60 years and counting) but, what the hay, what else would we be doing if we weren’t hunting wabbits? Shhhhhhh, be vewy, vewy quiet. We’re hunting Gilbertos. Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!!!!!!
    BTW, some good honorable mentions, John S. They’ll work just as well, My Man.

    …the Unknown Comic continues his act
    “Yeah, ol’ Gilberto’s the only one I know whose hair needs an oil change every 30,000 miles.”
    “Yeah, Marty? Hey, we have seats. Do you stand like that in the Port-a-Pots at the Milford Baseball Complex?”
    “I went to Peru for the Lost Inca Empire tour. They were excavating the Milford Girls Basketball team, it had disappeared from civilization, not to mention the comic strip. We even found the skeleton of Aardvark’s dad. His skull had that same Foghorn Leghorn hairline like his son, although, no kidding, his dad was in serious need of Rogaine.”
    “I want to thank you here at the Milford Comedy Club. You’ve been a wonderful audience…”
    “Dude, hate to spoil your act but you’re at a basketball game. We lost, 58-53, to Goshen.”
    “I was wondering why they were doing so much running. I thought Marty had a bench warrant filed on him. And I thought for a moment that in P3, 2 Goodfellas had a contract out on Dr. Pearl.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 24, 2018 @ 1:42 pm

  4. The Colonel from Monty Python enters the gym.
    “Sil-lay, sil-lay. THIS is sil-lay. Stop all this nonsense at once. And take that RIDICULOUS hat off your head. Who are you, Captain Crunch? Sil-lay, sil-lay.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 24, 2018 @ 2:12 pm

  5. Also, we didn’t have time for a moment of basketball action, but we do get a whole frame devoted to the all-important Coach’s Handshake.

    Comment by John S. Walters — March 24, 2018 @ 8:07 pm

  6. Gil is such a turd. He sends out a grad assistant (rec league coach) to shake hands as Gil is bobbing for worms in the tequila/Gatorade cooler.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 24, 2018 @ 10:53 pm

  7. The Gilfather has toyed with Moon for decades, another nervous breakdown. Gil laughs as Moon returns to the bottle, stuck as a broken down back page high school sports guy. Like a chess set sent by Satan, Gil makes moves that destroy.

    Comment by sheikhollis — March 25, 2018 @ 4:09 am

  8. Moon pulls a blunderbluss and the pirate station is done. He is a strict believer in the FCC broadcasting laws, having shut down many clandestine stations in the early 70s for the government in the late antiwar movement.

    Comment by sheikhollis — March 25, 2018 @ 4:16 am

  9. All funny, giggles and the milford crowd starved of reality laugh at anything as none have been past the county line….ever. The handshake in this strip is,a bit more notorious as the next morning the you tube site is mysteriously quiet, with a link to Marty Moons home page instead. Sirens wail way out past Moons retreat, but it is nothing more than the usual CDV. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months, and another of the Gilfathers nefarious deeds are added to the rolls of the Milford MIA

    Comment by sheikhollis — March 26, 2018 @ 12:10 am

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