This Week in Milford

April 23, 2018

A Soggy Start

Filed under: Coach Kaz, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 5:38 am


Baseball season is beginning…in the gym. The team is suited up and ready to get out there and start shagging flies and playing pepper, but the weather isn’t cooperating. Gil and Kaz muse about the team and the tight bonds formed between these young men. The young men, as usual, are talking smack about their own. That’s the way it works.

The first player named this spring is (dun dun DUN!) Kevin Pelwecki. Of course Kevin’s claim to fame is that he was a lineman on the football team with dreams of quarterbacking who eventually played some at fullback. I forgot all about his baseball roots. He first appeared as a backup at second for loudmouth Barry Bader. Now he’s boring his teammates talking about launch angles.

Play ball.



  1. So much for basketball. I guess we should assume there were no playdowns for the Mudlarks. Apparently you have to play more than 6 games to qualify.

    Comment by Bob Hricik — April 23, 2018 @ 6:18 am

  2. “Let’s give it a few more minutes,” said Gil, looking out on a monsoon that would have given Noah the heebie-jeebies.

    Comment by John S. Walters — April 23, 2018 @ 6:24 am

  3. Yeah, Kaz certainly seems like the type of chump who would check his phone to see what the weather was doing rather than look out the window.

    So, the secret Pelwecki is making yet another appearance. And now as a stats junkie… I’m putting the over/under on number of girl’s softball games depicted at 1.5 and I’m calling the first Bechdel Test failure at one and a half weeks from today.

    Comment by timbuys — April 23, 2018 @ 8:33 am

  4. Gil is passing the all time record for wearing a red shirt & not dying just off screen.

    Comment by Downpuppy, w/cheez (@Downpuppy) — April 23, 2018 @ 8:33 am

  5. Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx is here to remind everyone that Kevin Pelwecki was a designated hitter last baseball season, so his interest in launch angles is understandable. This marks the 6th season Pelwecki has appeared in, a mark only 27 students have reached since 2001. With 6 appearances, Pelwecki joins the ranks of such legends as Von Haney, homeless Ted Pearse, and Knox Foley (HOWARYA!) as well as perennial position-fillers like Hamani Gaines, Steve Rosen, and Charles Bloom.

    And now, on to the basketball season that wasn’t. Well, that is not entirely true, we actually saw a depiction/description of 14 games (12 boys, 2 girls). That is a below-average, but still solid number for a Rubin-penned season. However, we received less information on the outcomes of these games than ever before (which says very little for WDIG and the Milford Pirate Network). 6 of the 14 games have an outcome that is not depicted or one the record book is willing to assume. These are counted as “unknowns” in the records below.

    Milford Mudlarks Basketball 2017-2018 – 5-2 with 5 unknowns (4-2 with 5 unknowns in the Valley Conference)

    vs. La Junta – W 61-52
    ?? New Thayer – W
    @ Central – Unk
    vs. Oakwood – Unk
    @ Jefferson – L
    vs. Valley Tech – Unk
    @ Goshen – L 53-58
    vs. Central – Unk
    @ Madison – W “close”
    vs. Jefferson – Unk
    @ Oakwood – W
    vs. Goshen – W

    Season notes: The Mudlarks miss the playdowns for the 5th straight year (last time 2012-2013, last playdown win came in 2006). The 5 unknowns top last season’s 3 for most in a season since 2001. New Thayer was on the schedule for the first time since 2013-2014 while Tilden was the only Valley Conference team not depicted. Gil’s record since 2001 stands at 155-56 with 13 unknowns (80-41 with 7 unknowns in the Valley Conference) and the 2001 state championship. His career record minus 1996-2000 is 744-311 with 8 state championships.

    Milford Lady Mudlark’s Basketball 2017-2018 – 1-0 with 1 unknown (1-0 in the Valley Conference)

    @ West Falls – Unk
    @ Goshen – W

    It is going to be hard for Marty Moon to broadcast a girls basketball game when there are so few… but at least there were two this year. Last season saw not a single girl’s basketball game, or even evidence of the team, depicted. It’s a shame too, the Lady ‘Larks have made the playdowns as recently as 2016, though they haven’t won a playdown game since 2005. Mimi’s record since that 2004-2005 season is 72-31 with 6 unknowns (35-17 with 2 unknowns in the Valley Conference).

    A total of 25 named characters appeared this season, counting Marty’s boss as a rebooted appearance of WDIG owner Mr. Digiovanni and “Token Libertarian” as Token Libertarian. No one I would classify as a Hall Of Name candidate.

    Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx will return after baseball/softball season with a new section dedicated to Pelwecki’s launch angles. Until then…

    Comment by billytheskink — April 23, 2018 @ 8:37 am

  6. Ever get the feeling that Neal Rubin just doesn’t like sports?

    Comment by John S. Walters — April 23, 2018 @ 9:53 am

  7. 1. Why the fuck would Pelwecki play second? Isn’t he supposed to be like 6’4 and 250lbs or something?

    2. Tell that hippie Kaz to get rid of those sideburns!

    3. Of course… At the start of every new season, Rubin turns to SportsCenter (once) to see what newfangled developments are the cool kids are talking about today…Hence the “launch angles”

    Comment by hitorque — April 23, 2018 @ 11:19 am

  8. I guess that if Brent Raptor, the overweight kid whose own mother pounded an inferiority complex into him, can play third, we can’t scream too much about the relatively athletic Palooka playing second. We do know he can throw, which helps.

    Comment by vaganova — April 23, 2018 @ 3:00 pm

  9. Speaking of recurring characters, while I was trying to recall if LanternJaw Fauxhawk there had a name, I am positive there is no way to discern who the other two guys he’s talking to are.

    In other news, sometimes if you stare at the strip long enough (a common technique for me), you’ll see things that aren’t there and, with that, allow me to give you your next band name: Louche Angeles.

    Comment by timbuys — April 23, 2018 @ 6:18 pm

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