This Week in Milford

July 18, 2018

Competing To Alienate Everyone


Guys and Gals, can I ask a (kinda) serious question?

What does it say that, of the Bader Family Trio, Ma Bader is the least functional and possibly most psychologically damaged?

I bet those frames don’t even have prescription lenses in them.

Edited to add Frank Zappa’s tribute to the imaginary journalistic profession, Packard Goose:



  1. And therein lies the problem… Yes, Barry has been an annoying douchebag piece of shit, but only *slightly* more annoying than say Gilberto/Kaz, “Coach” Bobby Howry, Big Barda, Aaron Aasgaaaarde, the basketball teammates who regularly invaded Aaron’s privacy and literally accused him of being a drug user, that dumbassed whiny emo journeyman NBA player who wanted to drop everything at the age of 30 to be Jerry Rice, Heather Saban-Lombardi, Kevin “Launch Angles” Pelwecki, and countless others I’ve known over the past four years…

    The ONLY difference is all those other people got a wink and a nod for their douchebaggery, while Barry was constantly made to answer for his — Not only that, but Barry’s classmates, teammates, coaches and the school paper intentionally and REPEATEDLY poured butane on his douchebag fire just to point out how much of a douchebag he was, while calmer, cooler, more forgiving heads always prevailed with other characters… God damn this school and everything associated with it…

    Comment by hitorque — July 18, 2018 @ 7:01 am

  2. That’s a good point hitorque. “Villains” like Jamar Gaddis, G.T. Grayling, Bryce Larkin, Knox Foley, Adam Mundy, Maxwell Bacon and Bobby Howry, Terry Gallagher and Doyle Dane, Shep Trumbo, Dory Darwin, Jarrod Hale, Trey Davis, Donnell Wedding, Lexi Conroy, Hayley Keeler, Boyd Henry and Mitch Baker, Andrew Gregory, Parker Bowen, Wynn Wiley, etc. never received this kind of focus.

    Only Marty Moon has received anything like this kind of focus among the irredeemables, and he’s an adult villain with decades of history.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 18, 2018 @ 7:44 am

  3. billy wheels out an impressive list of past villains. Lexi Conroy I don’t remember for some reason.

    Comment by vaganova — July 18, 2018 @ 7:51 am

  4. Seriously, though. Let’s break it down: Del is a capable industrial solvents salesman and power drinker who, at worst, is, as he really shouldn’t point out on his own behalf when it’s on the record, more a particularly unlucky drunk driver rather than your garden variety dangerous drunk driver. Meanwhile, Barry is a three year (I think) starter at second base on the Varsity, bats second in the lineup but wants to be the guy leading off (a totally understandable ambition) and, if you push him, Fuck you Jack, he will push you right back.

    Ma Bader on the other hand has done, uh, what the hell was that exactly? The world’s most half assed and yet needlessly convoluted anger management intervention?

    Comment by timbuys — July 18, 2018 @ 9:09 am

  5. Ma Bader is certainly a wet dishrag of a woman, and I wish someone would bitch-slap those stupid fucking glasses off her head, but she’s not a mean asshole like that guy from the early 80’s, Steve Wilcox, who was constantly fucking with other kids to make his kid, Arnie, look good. Maybe that’s what R/W need to do; get rid of these douchey characters with limp-dick personalities and go back to someone who really knows how to be a pain in the ass and start trouble. Pelwicki and DD are just fucking idiotic characters with idiotic agendas.

    Comment by franku2016 — July 18, 2018 @ 9:20 am

  6. End this after school special as Barry rescues cat from tree.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — July 18, 2018 @ 11:04 am

  7. Lexi Conroy was a cheerleader and too-good-to-be-true-guy Sean Pettibone’s shallow (ex-)girlfriend who cheated on several of Kaz’s geography class quizzes.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 18, 2018 @ 12:09 pm

  8. @billytheskink: Max Freaking Bacon… How did I ever forget that name??

    And I forgot to mention Truman Standish, whose whiny emo college recruitment debacle “I’M INSULTED AND OFFENDED that websites like Rivals and MaxPreps not only try to rank us (Even though I’m the #3 QB prospect in the nation), they have the nerve to try to predict which school we’ll sign with! Let’s turn the tables on them and announce our college selections through twitter! That will show them… Something, I’m not sure but it will show them!!”

    And then he visited I think Ohio State, Texas A&M, and UCLA and asked absolutely nothing of substance — In fact, he got into another pissy tantrum at TAMU because a student happened to recognize him and had the nerve to get excited over the #3 QB in the nation visiting his campus on a recruiting trip because TAMU students aren’t supposed to take football seriously or something… And then after going back and forth for months about what he wanted in a school/program, he decides to sign with a low-profile mediocre program in WAKE FOREST (LOL). His reasoning? Because “it has the prettiest campus” which was goddamn lie since WFU looks no different than 80% of any other campus out there… I dunno… If that’s what he wants then that’s what he wants. I just thought he’d sign with powerhouse who was on TV every week or at least a program with a solid track record of grooming their players for the NFL draft…

    As an aside, didn’t Tru also pull a ‘Kevin Durant’ by leaving the only other half-decent team in the conference just to transfer to Milford and play for Gilberto? Or was that someone else??

    Comment by hitorque — July 18, 2018 @ 1:09 pm

  9. I actually thought True made some pretty good decisions, including the choice of taking up Wake Forest’s offer. He did come from a different league, the Coastal League, which by implication was in California. He and his father did shop for schools, and chose Mfnrd because Gil did not try to “recruit” him, as Valley Tech did, but offered him only a chance to compete for the position. I know the story clunked in places, but I applauded his and his fellow recruits attempt to throw a sabot into the profitable machine of exploiting news about college football prospects. But I’m prejudiced and admit it: I think that college football as an industry is completely out of control and am glad to see any attempt, however futile, to shove the genie back into the bottle. Division 1 football and men’s basketball are the minor leagues for the NFL and the NBA, and we are virtually the only advanced nation where such a perverse arrangement is tolerated. Better to be honest about what’s really going on: the University of Guadalajara, in Mexico, has a soccer team, Los Tecos (“The Owls”) and they’re pretty good. But they’re not students and nobody pretends they are. They’re professionals who play to make money for the university. I’m a big fan of frankness.

    Billy is a wonder. Even with his account, I barely remember the Lexi Conroy story. It may have come about during one of my periodic visits to my home planet.

    Comment by vaganova — July 18, 2018 @ 3:01 pm

  10. This storyline has been like a solid turd that wont come out of your ass until you drink a whole bottle of Milk of Magnesia. Folks, I have to report that I’m going to North Carolina for the weekend and wont be posting on Friday, but I’m off work tomorrow also and I can do Thursday if someone will switch with me. I know nobody likes writing about this plot anymore but like that Milk of Magnesia helping it along, the shit has to come out eventually. Hopefully when I get back home Bader will have left the country, if not Milford proper.

    Comment by robmize2013 — July 18, 2018 @ 7:35 pm

  11. Hey rob, I was going to be filling in for teenchy Thursday. Go ahead and do Thursday and I’ll get Friday.

    Comment by nedryerson — July 19, 2018 @ 4:04 am

  12. @vaganova

    Yeah, his storyline wasn’t *ALL* shit except for the TAMU visit which was dumb and not rooted to reality in any way… And that’s the other part I don’t get… If Truman hates the Big Football Machine so damn much, then why even play? Nobody is holding a gun to his head…

    If Tru had dreams of the NFL draft, then Wake Forest is dumb… If all he wanted to be was a college quarterback playing away from the spotlight, then there are countless Division I-AA, Division II schools he could be playing for.

    Comment by hitorque — July 19, 2018 @ 7:22 am

  13. hitorque, as I remember, there was never any mention– at least from True– about NFL ambitions. I thought this showed realism, because the odds of even a highly sought after high school player eventually making it in the pros are extremely poor. His orientation was clear from the beginning– he was interested in the complete college experience and never wanted college to be entirely about football. His original dream school was Miami of Ohio, but he set that aside when another kid from one of the summer football camps chose Miami first. He appeared to feel– correctly– that there is more than one good berth for each applicant, much as he insisted on keeping the QB he supplanted in the middle of the action during the title run. That kid had a streak of Barely Bader, now that I think about it. What was TAMU? I’m afraid that one got past me.

    Comment by vaganova — July 19, 2018 @ 8:01 am

  14. In fairness to True, he didn’t visit TAMU (Texas A&M), it was his summer football camp contemporaries, receiver Sedrick Joy and consensus #1 QB recruit Rodney Curtis, who headed to Texas (but not A&M). Both were on campus at Texas Christian (TCU) in Joy’s hometown of Fort Worth when approached by a crowd of students (who recognized hometown guy Joy, not Curtis). Rodney backed the out of the crowd and an autograph request by saying that they needed to return Sedrick’s father’s car and then griped about the attention as they drove away. It is not clear if either were on TCU’s campus for a recruiting visit, Curtis tells True in an earlier strip he is going to Texas solely to visit Joy, because they are friends and because he dislikes the attention he gets back home in Florida.

    Frankly, it was a weird interlude in an otherwise pretty well put together Summer storyline.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 19, 2018 @ 10:34 am

  15. Billy, you are a wonder. Thanks for the amplification. Now that we’re on the subject of camps and visits, I remember dissatisfaction on the part of other readers. But like you, I thought the story overall was one of the better GT arcs.

    Comment by vaganova — July 19, 2018 @ 11:18 am

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