This Week in Milford

September 5, 2018

In the Opener, I’ll Take the Mudlarks and 8 1/2


Man, the last thing I want to read in Gil Thorp is Kaz talking about Kelly’s sexual proclivities.  Oh, wait, he said Fellini. Never mind.

Does an awkward fist bump qualify as a “High Five Fail”?  Today, I’m calling that it does.

Quick cut to the practice field and there’s Marjie with her canister of pepper spray. Mouseketeer Roll Call will begin tomorrow and Joe Bolek will get namechecked along with a few other of Rubin’s friends.  Something tells me Bolek will flop as a ballplayer, or suffer a season-ending injury, and replace Kaz as the “film guru” on the Mudlark coaching staff.  Then he can tell Gil what kind of wacky leather-helmet era formation he can spring on the Valley Conference to make up for the usual fundamental shortcomings that plague the Milford football program.

Hold up: is that Marty standing next to Gil and Marjie?  Looks like he’s still taking hits from that tall can of STFU Gil gave him at the end of basketball season.  Let’s see how long that lasts.


  1. That’s Marty, all right, with his mouth shut for once. Must be his suspension is up. Remind me again of the name of Bearded Assistant Coach Who Appears Once a Year?

    Comment by vaganova — September 5, 2018 @ 6:22 am

  2. Matt Shaw is the bearded assistant, Vaganova. I’m happy we get a glimpse of him before we wander down the same game film study path we did with Ira “Brick” House 13 years ago (who also had a solid foil in perpetually grumpy defensive coordinator Mark Tabor).

    Comment by billytheskink — September 5, 2018 @ 7:38 am

  3. I don’t know no Fellini! I’m a football coach! I love car chases! Crash! Boom! Bam! I’m a football coach! I like watching grainy films of electronic football! Why? I’m a football coach!
    What a threesome of turds!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 5, 2018 @ 8:47 am

  4. billy, thank you! I just couldn’t bring the name to mind. Hadn’t thought of Brick House for a while either, nor Mark Tabor.

    Comment by vaganova — September 5, 2018 @ 8:55 am

  5. I see the Glee routine! Will Stretch Armstrong focus on winning the Valley, or on his role as Ascilto in the Drama Club musical production of Satyricon?

    Comment by Downpuppy, Lord of the Files (@Downpuppy) — September 5, 2018 @ 9:00 am

  6. While Joe Bolek and his friends replay their favorite movie “Private Dicks”, starring John Holmes as Detective Johnny Wadd, Kaz wows ’em by showing that he knows how to do something a 2-year old could do.

    Comment by franku2016 — September 5, 2018 @ 11:47 am

  7. “Fellini? You mean that guy who used to coach Nebraska?”

    Dunno what Marjie is up to… but her line sounds like something Annie Savoy would say in “Bull Durham.”

    Comment by jvwalt — September 5, 2018 @ 12:35 pm

  8. By the way, Marty’s expression perfectly expresses the sensation of standing up quickly after one too many.

    If I can return to yesterday for a moment, we do in fact have a touch or two of possible foreshadowing. Seemingly unnecessary talk of video competence among both coaches and kids worries me. Please tell me Kaz is not going to take some kind of dive, necessitating a student video whiz. Encore Knox Foley! Encore Bobby Howry! Noooooo!!!

    Comment by vaganova — September 5, 2018 @ 1:59 pm

  9. P2: Wonder Twin Powers, ACTIVATE

    Form of… ice cubes in Gil’s Harder-er Lemonade!

    Shape of… Scott Fowler’s Magical Peacock!

    Comment by lauramac — September 5, 2018 @ 4:30 pm

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