This Week in Milford

September 10, 2018

Bonding Over Bondo


Let’s get to know the team from the inside. We have a guy with an unfortunate, early onset bald spot holding a mysterious object. It looks like an overinflated remote control, but maybe it’s a shoe? Then there’s a shirtless guy who doesn’t really care.

We have return guest Andre Ruffin, who is rocking a very beautifully manicured Mohawk. Then there’s newcomer Tiki Jansen. See, he’s not Hawaiian at all. He’s T.K. Jansen, get it? That’s interesting character development!

The real substance of this character reveal is that Andre is very observant as to what kind of wheels people have and he has spotted Tiki rolling up in one of these*:


I can vaguely remember some mild car shaming happening back in high school, but I think I was in the same boat as most kids in that I took whatever I could get and was happy to not have to bum rides. In this case, Tiki has an 18 year old standard American made shitbox and he’s damned proud of its poor cosmetic condition.

*I wanted to use a contemporary picture of a 2000 Breeze still in the wild. The one pictured here is on sale in New Jersey if anyone is interested.


  1. Did I just read the Plymouth Breeze section of the wikipedia article on the Chrysler Cirrus? Yes, I did, and now I’m curious how he’s got that thing optioned out. Manual or auto? 2.0 or 2.4 liter engine?

    I take a bit too much pride in how old my own car is (personal finance tip: change the fluids and other consumables regularly and a Honda will run indefinitely.*) but never have worried about the cosmetics enough to bother with Bondo. Like Ned, I wonder just what kinda fancy sleds the other kids at Milford High are rocking to be giving Tiki a hard time. For myself, I was living large in high school with a dull red Toyota Corolla station wagon. That thing could do a cool 74 to 75 mph on a downhill with a tailwind and carry an entire rock quartet’s equipment and personnel while doing it.

    * That said, based on empirical findings, the adhesive holding the ceiling upholstery in Honda automobiles has a MTTF of about 11.5 years (N=2). Known fixes include stapling that crap back up there and/or pinning it in place with the sun visors if a staple gun isn’t nearby.

    Comment by timbuys — September 10, 2018 @ 6:44 am

  2. Plymouth Breeze? Pshaw! It’s not like it’s an Eagle Vision or something… oh wait… yeah it is.

    Get back to me when you have to drive to a high school full of rich kids in nothing, because your mom works at the school and drives you and you don’t have access to a car of your own. Or when you go off to college and park your heavily-dented 4-cylinder Mazda pickup next to BMWs and Lexus’ and that one Isuzu Stylus driven by a girl who still kind of fit in because it was clean and had a badge on it that said “handling by Lotus” and a Cadillac Catera driven by a guy who didn’t get mocked because college kids at that time were too dense to get the humor in the existence of the Cadillac Catera.

    Anyways… an overly precocious teen with a silly name. I have NEVER seen that in this strip before…

    Comment by billytheskink — September 10, 2018 @ 7:31 am

  3. timbuys, I had an issue with ceiling upholstery on a Buick Skyhawk I inherited from my grandparents. (I think it was an 81. I drove it until it died in 1997.) I used push pins to shore up the droopy parts. There was insulation or foam or something up there that was receptive enough to hold a pin.

    Comment by nedryerson — September 10, 2018 @ 7:43 am

  4. Yes…you can tell that it’s either the end of or beginning of a story when douchey Andre Ruffin makes an appearance to add his opinion to whatever locker room hi-jinks are going on. So, a HS kid drives a POS car…what a novel thought. R&W sure are creative. Where is this snooze-fest going to take us? Only time will tell. Hopefully we will know before Christmas, but I doubt it.

    Comment by franku2016 — September 10, 2018 @ 8:26 am

  5. On ceiling upholstery, I once pulled off much of it in my old Mazda station wagon and reattached it with a glue stick, which worked well for several weeks.

    I loved that car, though. Stupid hurricane…

    Comment by billytheskink — September 10, 2018 @ 9:51 am

  6. I’ve heard announcers say when a coach gets mad at a player that you can fry an egg on that coach’s head but I never seen that concept carried out literally until P1 today.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — September 10, 2018 @ 2:11 pm

  7. Bald spot boy’s shirt matches I guess what is linoleum on the shower wall. What s swinging guy!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 10, 2018 @ 6:06 pm

  8. “whadda’ ya’ mean, ‘what’s with my car?”…fuck you…where’s your car, dickwad?…at least I have a fuckin’ car…”

    Comment by franku2016 — September 11, 2018 @ 1:19 pm

  9. Ned – the insulation-or-foam-or-whatever in the ceiling of my inherited ’78 Mercury Marquis dried up & crumbled, so when a seam in the headliner ripped, it dumped all this nasty crud all over the seats.

    I vacuumed it out & spent a summer afternoon in 1990 stitching the upholstery back up, craning my neck, like Michelangelo if the Sistine Chapel had been a banana-cream-pie-yellow hooptie.

    Damn but I ended up loving that car.

    Comment by lauramac — September 11, 2018 @ 1:19 pm

  10. […] A miraculous play on the other side of the ball on special teams. Tiki Jansen, proud driver of a 2000 Breeze, blocks a field goal attempt. There’s no way to know how he got through or around the Oakwood […]

    Pingback by Creatively Blocked | This Week in Milford — September 24, 2018 @ 6:21 am

  11. […] Garden. He’s gotta wring every last drop out of his tired ’90s econobox (maybe a Plymouth Breeze?), so when the steering wheel rubber starts to crumble, it gets covered with one of those […]

    Pingback by Never Happy? Are You Kidding? They’re Delirious! | This Week in Milford — February 13, 2019 @ 9:14 am

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