This Week in Milford

October 8, 2018

Excuse Me? I’m Marginal Mike Filion Now?

Filed under: actual action, football, Pantheon of Hair — nedryerson @ 6:36 am


Mike Filion has to do a lot of scutwork in Milford. He’s the quarterback who Gil’s stuck with because unicorns like True “Not Tru” Standish only wander into Milford once in a century. He gave Kaz a lead on Joe Bolek, but there’s no sense of urgency to do anything right away. So Marginal Mike Filion gets to punt this week.

Joe Bolek and his film club decide to swing by and see if Joe might deign to consider punting for the Mudlarks. Will he or won’t he? We’re on the edge of our seats.

Joe and his entourage are really getting on my nerves, especially from a hair standpoint. That one guy or girl has the Slim Chance/Dafne Dafonte/Kevin Pelwecki hair strands which I’d be happy to never see again. Joe’s hair isn’t consistent. I think at some point last week while Kaz was looking for a punter, Joe and Marginal Mike’s hair got switched around. Let’s not even talk about coloring.

What’s up with the dude sitting in front of Bolek and friends? He’s aggressively splayed out all over the bleachers while Joe’s crew also seem to be encroaching on the seats in front of them with their feet. It looks like somebody wants to start something here. We could use a good brawl. I’ll bet Mr. Man Spreader could hold his own against Joe & The Film Crew.



  1. 1. What, so hipster film school douchebag has actually *measured* his punts and his hang time??

    2. So what was the distance of the *REAL* punter? You know, the guy who Gilberto forced to play long snapper instead and we haven’t heard from since?

    3. You know, most high school coaches will be perfectly happy with a consistent 30 yards, assuming Gilberto told Filion to punt it out-of-bounds…

    4. Instead of kissing film snob’s ass, why not god forbid do a little fucking coaching and work on making Filion a better punter? It’s not like it’s some god-given niche skill only a few people on Earth can do…

    Comment by hitorque — October 8, 2018 @ 7:33 am

  2. “A trio of spectators” = average attendance for the Mudlarks.

    You know, this story would be a lot more interesting if the blond girl was the reluctant punter.

    Comment by jvwalt — October 8, 2018 @ 8:09 am

  3. Joe Bolek sounds like the name of the leader of a polka band.

    Why is the guy sitting behind these three dressed like Crankshaft?

    Comment by billytheskink — October 8, 2018 @ 8:20 am

  4. “A trio of spectators” – I count six.

    “30 yards tops” – So, he’s not just a punter who quit sometime during or prior to high school, but we’re expected to believe he’s competent to evaluate other punters’ potential.

    Mr. Man Spreader – That guy is pretty tall, he’s wearing sunglasses, and we haven’t seen Kaz on the sidelines so far. My hunch is that is him in disguise not so subtly eavesdropping on The Trio’s conversation.

    Comment by timbuys — October 8, 2018 @ 8:26 am

  5. Hasn’t turd boy Joe seen the movie Gus? What a jackass!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 8, 2018 @ 8:40 am

  6. Kaz and Gil sure are up this kid’s ass to punt, EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE NEVER SEEN HIM DO IT; and meanwhile, this dork has the balls to talk shit, like he’s as good as fucking Ray Guy or something. There was a kid in my HS who used to walk around telling everyone how “good” he was at football, even though he wasn’t on the team. I finally told him to suit up and come on out to the next practice. That shut his ass up. Bolek should do the same – suit up or shut up.

    Comment by franku2016 — October 8, 2018 @ 9:13 am

  7. The comments were great to help Ned and his usual excellent commentary but Franku, you are around for a reason and it was VERY EVIDENT today. Yup, where I come from, and I’m sure y’all would agree, put your money where your mouth is.
    Wait, this is Thorpiverse where the likes of Daffy Duck, when she wasn’t a cub reporter for the Milford Enquirer doing exposes on the stuff the Milford High School cafeteria was dumping in the dumpster(“did you sweep up all the au gratin potatos ‘n’ turnips?”), she was bailed out with her plastic batting average(ain’t no way a person spends all that time muckraking while possessing a batting average like Don Mattingly, at least I’ve never seen one in all my 30+ years involvement in high school sports). Reality is like those trees we always see in the background in Gil’s office, yeah, they’re there but many times twisted around or mounted upon other things(like other tree, f’instance), skewering what’s really or what REALLY SHOULD BE happeniong. There, i feel better. Time to go get a Bucket o’ Caramel Iced Coffee to steady my nerves.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — October 8, 2018 @ 2:48 pm

  8. I don’t think anybody has identified Tates Creek HS yet. There’s one in Lexington, Kentucky, and from the website it looks like a pretty impressive school. Based on the number of staff listed it must be about ten times the size of Mfnrd.

    Comment by vaganova — October 9, 2018 @ 1:55 pm

  9. vaganova, I was thinking the EXACT same thing, given that I also live down the pipe from Lexington. That almost HAD TO HAVE BEEN where Thorpiverse got the idea even if it’ll never admit it. You’re always on top of your game, as usual. You da Man.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — October 9, 2018 @ 4:05 pm

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