This Week in Milford

October 29, 2018

Andre Ruffin Vaporized By UFO (If Only)


Milford won its first road game of the season! Mike Filion had a big night! Punting (or long snapping) didn’t appear to be an issue, so I guess that plot point is behind us.

Some knuckleheaded Mudlark threw his helmet in the air in celebration of the victory. Were there any resulting concussions? Did we have a story about concussions once? Nobody remembers. Probably because we’ve been collectively beaten over the head so many times by these plots.

We’re stalled on the snooping behavior of Andre and Joe, so let’s trot out an old standard: Marty Moon asks a dickish, leading question of Gil. Ouch! What did I tell you about hitting us over the head, Gil Thorp?! Tune in tomorrow for Gil’s snarktastic retort.

Interestingly (no, no really) Marty doesn’t get an opportunity to interview Gil immediately after the much ballyhooed victory, but rather has to catch Gil at a subsequent practice during a stretching session. Wait, is that Marty? I’m just assuming because of the dumb question. Yeah, it’s gotta be Marty. Nobody else besides Marjie cares. Nobody.

To shake off the boredom, let’s get into the wayback machine for a video. This had some HEAVY rotation in the early days of MTV:

Wow, I haven’t listened to that for ages and I have to say, that song’s kinda weak. I guess it’s mostly because it seems to drag on for about a minute and a half more than it needs to.


  1. The mothership was waiting for Milford to win a road game before it landed?

    Comment by billytheskink — October 29, 2018 @ 8:55 am

  2. Tanya Tucker had an entirely different song about the same time also called “A Little Too Late”.

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 29, 2018 @ 9:07 am

  3. “…Yes, Marty, too little, too late for sure, but that’s only because we spent so much time fucking around to find a punter, that we neglected the offense, defense, and all other aspects of coaching that didn’t involve punting; gotta get your priorities straight when you coach….”

    Comment by franku2016 — October 29, 2018 @ 9:10 am

  4. The best I can say about today’s strip is that it didn’t cause me to briefly contemplate Kelly grinding Kaz’s organ and, for that, I am grateful. Please accept my humble apologies to everybody who, just now, had to think about that.

    Bonus point: Each of today’s panels has one or more things that are delightfully off about them. The obscure shaft among the clouds at night in panel one. The bizarre lighting (or as Ned claims, the UFO) in panel two. The exceedingly tall cross bar in panel three…. I mean look at it! That thing’s gotta be twenty feet off the ground. Forget punters, I want to know what hell Gil is putting his place kickers through.

    Edited to add: Nevermind the Mesoamerican style stepped pyramid that is apparently the inspiration for the rather vertiginous stands at Central High.

    Comment by timbuys — October 29, 2018 @ 9:21 am

  5. 1. Okay, we could use a little soul here so let me suggest this (those of you at work in the office, please turn this all the way up to eleven):

    2. Well done Gilberto! You spent so much goddamned time worrying about getting Ben Mankiewicz to punt for you and solve a dilemma you COMPLETELY FUCKING CREATED FOR YOUR OWN DAMN SELF that you forgot about, you know, actually coaching up the rest of the team and earning your paycheck for once in your life… We’ll just put this down to yet another lost season, which makes what, only one decent winning season since winning the state title by my count?

    3. As an aside, Wake Forest and their #3 nationally ranked quarterback prospect savior Truman Standish are stinking the place up at 4-4… But hey, at least the campus is pretty, amirite, Tru?

    Comment by hitorque — October 29, 2018 @ 9:35 am


    Comment by jvwalt — October 29, 2018 @ 10:20 am

  7. Yes, jvwalt, you nailed it. That is exactly what we’re looking at here. I’ve gone ahead and put this in the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects.

    Comment by timbuys — October 29, 2018 @ 1:03 pm

  8. and on the strength of this performance, Marginal Mike is upgraded to Middling Mike

    Comment by Roscoe P. Soultrain — October 29, 2018 @ 1:18 pm

  9. Congrats to hitorgue for finding an actual good song!
    So I’m gonna play high/low & go for the worst!

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 29, 2018 @ 3:33 pm

  10. Yuck, Downpuppy! I don’t even see how that qualifies as a song.

    Comment by nedryerson — October 29, 2018 @ 3:42 pm

  11. I’m with Ned here.
    Abomination! I condemn thee!

    Comment by Prof. Anthrax — October 29, 2018 @ 4:31 pm

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