This Week in Milford

January 2, 2019

Martin McDonagh Was Right: Billboards Come in Threes

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Times are tough at the Milford Star.  Ad revenues are way down and they have a staff of three: Marjie Ducey, middle-aged management/editor type guy and the bearded one.  It still has physical offices and the nice little sign out front from its heyday (“Covers the Valley like the Dew“) but it can’t afford to replace that window that mysteriously got broken after the Star ran its piece on the Milford Pirate Network last basketball season.  Well, it’s either that or the window tint fell off; otherwise how could we see the convo between editor type guy and the bearded one?

Bearded guy’s hard-hitting investigative journalism doesn’t really do much to satisfy Editor Guy’s curiosity but it nudges the plot forward just a teeny bit.  Maybe Bobby has rented two billboards and put the same message on both of them two different times, and now plans to do it again.  (“COACH THORP: TAKE A HINT FROM URBAN MEYER AND MARK RICHT”)  Such the suspense!

Meanwhile in the halls of Milford High, unidentified student needles Filion with the slang term that Filion’s been singlehandedly trying to make a thing with the Mudlarks.  Filion fires back with that already tried-and-true phrase of the Milford lexicon, “Ease up!”  Next Gil is accosted by one of the faculty, no doubt to talk about said Filion.  Why she goes to Gil instead of, say, Dr. Pearl is beyond me but then again this strip isn’t named Dr. Pearl.  Probably safe to say that any behavioral anomalies among the Milford student body can be directly attributed to events that happen under Gil’s watch. He’s used to it by now, so her inquiry is not met with a spit take.  All in a day’s work for the most laissez-faire coach in the Valley.

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6 Comments »

  1. Does Matt Shaw work for the Milford Star now? I don’t think we have seen him on the sidelines for football in a couple years.

    I guess in Milford the journalism biz is going better than the assistant coaching biz…

    Comment by billytheskink — January 2, 2019 @ 8:52 am

  2. Is Filion one of those douchey kids who can dish it out but not take it? He seems to be offended by being called ‘kettlehead’ even though he’s been fuckin yelling it nonstop at his teammates during practice, time-outs, etc.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 2, 2019 @ 9:29 am

  3. No wonder beardo is stuck at the Star. “I asked one question, got put off indefinitely and then stopped.” I mean, I suppose that cuts it in the White House press corps (Zing!) but it’s not gonna get it done in the seamy world of tanktown passive-aggressive billboard advertising. This guy is really gonna get his eyes opened when this rabbit hole leads him into the sordid milieu of Valley Conference high school athletics where, if your opponents aren’t aggressively and violently cheating, it’s only because they’re too busy devising brazenly elaborate and cruel taunts.

    BTW, so Fillion can call others kettlehead but can’t take it coming back his way? That’s special.

    Minus points:

    The chameleon like textbook’s attempt to blend into its setting.

    I, for one, would like to know how the coffee stays in the mug when Gil drinks from it upside down.

    Comment by timbuys — January 2, 2019 @ 10:01 am

  4. Teenchy, LMAO today. You still got it, My Man. And I think in P1 that that’s the Tombstone, Arizona saloon behind the Star building where the Clantons hung out.

    All the comments were on-point today but Frank, it’s amazing how he can be Bozo one minute and a weenie the next. He can’t take what he dishes out, as you mentioned.

    Tim, sprayed my own coffee while laughing at your Gil’s coffee mug observation. And I didn’t know kids were allowed to bring CD box sets to school, in this case, “Piper at the Gates of Dawn” by Pink Floyd. But maybe I’ve had one Floyd Fix too many.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — January 2, 2019 @ 10:28 am

  5. That’s probably why Gil’s so pissed.

    Comment by Prof. Anthrax — January 2, 2019 @ 7:50 pm

  6. @timbuys, @tdrewhardin: Bottomless cups of coffee in the MHS faculty lounge?

    Comment by teenchy — January 2, 2019 @ 8:08 pm


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