This Week in Milford

January 30, 2019

The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Paint

Filed under: Bobby Howry, Fontastic, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Where is Milford? — teenchy @ 10:04 am

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By now we here at TWIM (and the strip itself) have made the point on more than one occasion that Gil and the Mudlarks would never have won the state football championship back in ’14 had True Standish not transferred to Milford.  Naturally we’ve used that point as a bludgeon to beat home the point that Gil isn’t capable of coaching his competitive teams up to the next level.  A wise man once said “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken something else,” and even WDIG’s station manager was able to discern the difference.  The fact that Gil has managed to put competitive teams on the field/court/diamond may very well be a testimony to his ability to make chicken salad out of chicken something else.

Case in point: this bunch of yobbos.  Their “loophole” is not to “not harm, threaten, insult or breathe on” B/Robby but to deface the billboard he’s had put up.  First of course they have to figure out how to get up onto the billboard.  If they’d thought a ladder was necessary, wouldn’t they have noticed they didn’t have one before they set off on their journey?  It’s not like any ladder taller than a stepladder would fit in their cars’ trunks.  What about shimmying up the center pole or giving one another a boost up on their shoulders?  The way they’ve been playing, getting vertical is obviously a challenge to them. Clearly they should’ve gotten Joe Bolek and his crew on the job. They know a little something about painting things in public.

Observant TWIMers may be wondering why I pulled the “Where is Milford?” tag.  I did it because of the tag – the license tag, that is.  Milford is in, well, Milford – unless it’s in one of those one-plate states and the front plate is either a city plate topper like they used to have in North Carolina or a Milford Mudlarks plate from that one time the booster club held a fundraiser to get the teams some practice uniforms.  They don’t have practice uniforms, you say?

 

17 Comments »

  1. Perhaps not so astonishingly, robbyreport.com remains available for purchase.

    Earlier today I noted that the odds of these guys getting caught executing this plan were something like 100%. Now I have to revise my thinking because these idiots didn’t agree on a plan before commencing Operation Loophole.

    Minus point: I know I’m always giving Andre a hard time but how on earth is he getting around without a hat at this time of year? While we’re on the subject did Mike Filion get a dye job or is that someone else with a keyhole haircut in the hoodie?

    License plate trivia: In South Dakota, you can tell which county a car is registered in by the leading digits on the plate. Now you know…

    Comment by timbuys — January 30, 2019 @ 11:47 am

  2. I guess these boys didn’t see the episode where Whitey Whitney talked Beaver into climbing a billboard that had a cup of soup or something on it which Beaver ended up being trapped. (Beaver trap hah! I didn’t even plan that.). I don’t remember how he got up there. But he was like 9 years old. These 16-18 somethings can’t figure it out?!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 30, 2019 @ 12:52 pm

  3. OH MY SWEET LORD JESUS!

    After getting banned from CC I was content to walk away from daily comics never to return, but that was before I learned that “Coach” Bobby Howry was making his triumphant comeback! **AND** he’s dropping truth bombs about Gilberto’s ineptitude on Marty Moon’s Squawk Talk in the Afternoon??

    Who could resist? Especially since Howry’s first storyline was my official “introduction” to this god-awful strip! Maybe and just maybe I can temporarily get my groove back in comics hatereading…

    As an aside, even if he was a freshman during his first appearance (and there’s no indication that he was), I’m pretty sure Howry is a 5th-year senior at least?

    Comment by hitorque — January 30, 2019 @ 1:32 pm

  4. 1. No ladder? *THERE* is the stereotypical Milfordian brain-dead sportsball cretin that has become an institution! God, I’ve missed this shit!

    2. Where the hell did “Coach” Bobby Drudge get the money for a billboard?

    3. I gotta do a lot of backreading to get caught up

    Comment by hitorque — January 30, 2019 @ 1:38 pm

  5. Just when you think RW are really gonna show something fun, they take the air out of it with a stupid “ where’s the ladder” bit.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 30, 2019 @ 2:07 pm

  6. Teenchy, I never thought Ernst Loeffer would stop to billboards. Shows you how much I know.

    Seen somewhere in the country off I-75 from Outdoor Advertising

    KILL BOND…NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    P3: “Dude, they always keep that 130-foot ladder behind the hemlock pine. Someone must have stolen it.”

    Really, what else you gonna do with that ladder? Change the light bulb in your hallway???? Well, if you’re changing the bulbs at Wrigley, I understand, otherwise, you might want to sell that at your next garage sale if you can’t keep it in your basement.

    Great title, Teenchy, BTW. Not EVEN gonna try to top it. Uncle, uncle(ha). You da Man.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — January 30, 2019 @ 2:30 pm

  7. I’ve long been a Fire Gil Thorp advocate, but if this is the intellectual/cognitive level of the kids he’s dealing with, I’ll have to revise my opinion.

    Comment by jvwalt — January 30, 2019 @ 3:13 pm

  8. Bobby Howry has been out of school for about four years, refining his already remarkable talents as a professional asshole.

    I am trying to figure out how Ringleader Andre’s not having a ladder available advances the plot. Not coming up with much, unless Howry comes by to admire the billboard and they stuff him into a trash can.

    Comment by vaganova — January 30, 2019 @ 4:18 pm

  9. I wonder if Ricky Bobby Robby has been putting up the “Saints got Robbed” billboards in Atlanta.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 30, 2019 @ 5:59 pm

  10. Perhaps they could sell the unused spray paint and use the money to hire some 15-year-old aspiring hacker to vandalize Howry’s web site.

    Comment by Philip — January 30, 2019 @ 7:19 pm

  11. Timbuys, plates in Indiana used to be set up the same way.
    Well, I made the call on attacking the billboard…
    A lot of billboards used to have a partial ladder, as in the sign worker still had to bring along a 20 foot-or-so one to reach it. But of course our nimrods wouldn’t think of that, or even to steal a cherry picker.

    Comment by Prof. Anthrax — January 30, 2019 @ 8:24 pm

  12. Prof. Anthrax, timbuys: Georgia plates used to work the same way as South Dakota’s: the leading digits represented county codes based on population. Those went away in the early ’70s and were replaced by the county name decals at the bottom of the plate.

    In South Carolina, you used to be able to tell how much a vehicle weighed by the leading letter on the license plate.

    Comment by teenchy — January 30, 2019 @ 9:53 pm

  13. They could had some fun with the spray paint too….something along the lines of “Robby sux donkey dick”, or similar.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 31, 2019 @ 10:16 am

  14. License plates? My favorite is North Carolina, with its “First in Flight” motto. The Wrights were from Dayton, and crediting Kill Devil Hills for their flights is similar to crediting Mare Tranquillitatis with Armstrong’s landing.

    My brother had a different explanation. One of the first US units to see action in WW1 was a North Carolina national guard regiment. Completely green, half trained, and led by officers and noncoms most of whom had no combat experience. They immediately collided with a hardened German unit, and understandably frightened and confused, they broke and ran. Hence “First in Flight.”

    Comment by vaganova — January 31, 2019 @ 12:42 pm

  15. TWIM: Come for the snarking on Gil Thorp, stay for the arcana of states’ vehicle license plate numbering schemes

    Comment by timbuys — January 31, 2019 @ 2:11 pm

  16. […] any exposition, we don’t know whether The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Paint were charged with anything or got off with a warning (maybe ’cause Deputy Dawg went back to […]

    Pingback by When Your Loophole Becomes a Noose | This Week in Milford — February 2, 2019 @ 8:42 pm

  17. […] Mimi’s deduction that he was after Marty’s job.  (At least someone found that ladder Andre Ruffin forgot.) Maybe that last panel gives us a clue – if not to Howry’s current line of work […]

    Pingback by Papered Over and Out | This Week in Milford — March 9, 2019 @ 8:42 pm


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