This Week in Milford

February 4, 2019

Show Of Hands

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Pissy faced Gil — nedryerson @ 8:04 am


What else can we say about this drawn out sequence of Gil laying out discipline for a thing that didn’t happen?

I can’t think of a thing. We’re going back to the Mike Fillion mental health crisis, so buckle up.

So, what did y’all think about THE BIG GAME last night. Was it boring? Did the commercials suck? (Was it cool or totally lame that Jeff Bridges reprised the role of The Dude to order a Stella Art-toys?) Did the halftime suck? These have been the standard internet chat topics post Super Bowl for many years now. (I mean, minus The Dude…c’mon it was a little cool, right?)

For my part, I spent the better part of the second half watching Outkast videos because I didn’t get enough Big Boi. I won’t level any specific criticisms against Adam Levine and friends. I think they’ve arrived at a formula for these halftime shows where they make a big shiny spectacle that about twenty percent of the viewership will enjoy and most of the rest will hate so much that they’ll click on all the post mortems confirming indeed that it was THE WORST HALFTIME SHOW EVER.


  1. I think the Rams would have won the Super Bowl had Gil been coaching them. No way the Patriots shut down the wing-T.

    And wasn’t Beaudry Ruffin James Percy the law firm that represented Del Bader?

    Comment by billytheskink — February 4, 2019 @ 9:10 am

  2. You’re probably right, since the law firm I remember was BenJarvus, Green, Ellis
    I watched the start, end & halftime (boring) show, and apparently didn’t miss anything watching Ant Man & The Wasp through the rest.
    Gil is really not in it to win it this season.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — February 4, 2019 @ 9:40 am

  3. Luckily, from what I’ve heard, I missed the halftime show. I usually don’t ever watch it, because I use halftime to do what I do for every game I watch, which is hit the head, and freshen up my drink and snack plate. My wife (and her sisters) though, is another story. They only watch the big game for the commercials and halftime show and spend the rest of the game asking silly questions about the game, the rules, (can they really hit them like that?), commenting on the looks of players, their uniforms, and coaches, and just, for the most part, providing un-needed white noise in the room where the TV is located. They did make the snacks though, so I just keep my mouth shut when they keep up with the asinine questions and commentary.

    Comment by franku2016 — February 4, 2019 @ 9:51 am

  4. Gil’s pretend pissy face is funny. Indeed he wants to end season early. Let’s get back to Marty and Howry. So many issues they can choose to pick on Stewed To The Gils.
    I haven’t watched “The biggest concert of the year!” In years. Bring back marching bands and the 15 minute halftime. I usually watch a Local H DVD or YouTube of them. Or even SCTV. HOW ARE YA!!!!
    This year to lazy to make the switch so fell asleep during Puppy Bowl.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 4, 2019 @ 9:57 am

  5. I see four white hands. Thought Ruffin was black.

    Comment by jvwalt — February 4, 2019 @ 10:18 am

  6. I kinda want to know what it is that they planned to spray up there now. The plan was so comically ill conceived (I mean, really, no one brought a ladder or thought that an illuminated billboard on the side of the main road in and out of town was an inconspicuous place to park their cars?) that I can’t imagine they would have delivered an effective counter message. That said, I’m sure it would’ve been good for a laugh or two.

    Comment by timbuys — February 4, 2019 @ 11:26 am

  7. The Gil Throp playbook to half-assing your way through basketball season:
    1. Find the players most committed to the team and their coach, to the extent they would commit a (poorly planned) petty crime to defend their reputation
    2. Arbitrarily bench them – so you likely lose 2 games at a minimum and generally demoralize your team, and potentially lose more games as a result
    3. Turn your average record into a losing record, so you have no chance of making the playdowns
    4. End the season early and drink cheap gin in your house until baseball season starts
    5. Coast on your legend as an engaged member of the community and occasional championship winner to avoid any blame
    6. Repeat steps 1-5 as needed to keep coaching duties to a bare minimum

    Comment by el supremo — February 4, 2019 @ 2:20 pm

  8. @billytheskink – Gil would have had trouble coaching either team last night, based on the number of punts; whatever team he coached would have blown it by poor snapping and lousy punting.

    Comment by franku2016 — February 4, 2019 @ 2:59 pm

  9. Gil + Tom Brady = 0 Super Bowls + 0 division titles. And dumb ass Rex Ryan would have won a few division titles. What a crap division that would be with Gil in it!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 4, 2019 @ 4:25 pm

  10. Over the years, I’ve watched less and less football to the point where skipping the Super Bowl either partially or entirely has been a pretty frequent occurrence in recent years. For whatever reason, I watched almost all of yesterday’s game and, for whatever other merits it did or did not have, it totally validated the ten minutes I spent earlier this week reading about how both teams had really good punting. Seriously, the punting last night was flippin’ amazing.

    Comment by timbuys — February 4, 2019 @ 5:06 pm

  11. Gil does nothing to defend or rebut B/Robby’s campaign for fear of embarrassing Max Bacon (who’s no longer on the team AFAIK), but has no trouble calling his wannabe vandals “dolts” and “idiots” in front of their teammates? Stay classy, ya beady-eyed bastage.

    Comment by teenchy — February 4, 2019 @ 6:58 pm

  12. Gil + Tom Brady = 0 Super Bowls + 0 division titles.

    But it would have been fun seeing Gil’s Brady throw a pass that got deflected by a seagull one year, trip over his untied shoelace the next as he runs towards the goal line, have his pinpoint pass go through the end zone receiver’s hands as he was distracted by his crush as time runs out the next year, get benched for the big game after getting a C- on his penmanship the next year, have the over-inflated football pop in his hands as he set up the perfect screen pass the next, on and on and on and on, narrowly missing the NFL Playdowns each year as a result. And while local sports radio calls for Gil’s head 24/7 because of this, Gil outwits them every year with a clever and well-timed speech on local cable access, getting moms and dads everywhere to shake their heads in admiration, becoming a little bit wiser, and perhaps a little better citizens as well, at the end of the day. And then the next day, all is forgotten and on to NBA basketball tryouts!

    Comment by Moon Mullins — February 4, 2019 @ 9:54 pm

  13. Sounds accurate Moon. Good stuff.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 4, 2019 @ 10:53 pm

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