This Week in Milford

March 27, 2019

“And we care because?” could be this blog’s motto


Well, that explains everything, doesn’t it?  The big “RIN” in the sign behind Andre’s head yesterday was short for “RINK,” which Milford has one of, apparently.  (Of course it does. How else could kids practice for skating at the Winter Blast in Central City? And why hasn’t ice hockey ever been a thing in Milford?)  Andre watched his little sister – odd hand gesture meant to signify “little” – skate and saw a group of synchronized skaters perform*. On his way home he got his cheek pierced and had that shark tooth he found at the beach on summer vacation mounted on a stud.

Oh, yeah, one of the synchronized skaters is also one of Mimi’s softball players.  Heaven forbid she prioritize something else over Milford High sportsball!  Prepare for multiple strips shaming poor Molly Hatchet off the ice and onto the diamond.

*I’m sorry, but every time I read “synchronized skating” I thought “synchronized swimming” and could only picture Harry Shearer and Martin Short in that old SNL skit.  Skate away, that’s all.


  1. “Molly Hatcher” is a name more suited to a roller derby than a synchronized ice skating team, but sure, I’ll play along with this. Also, is synchronized ice skating such an embarrassing thing to be involved in that Molly would feel she has to hide it from her classmates? Actually, I would believe that. Tough luck for Molly that she goes to a school full of extremely nosy junior detectives.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 27, 2019 @ 8:37 am

  2. and in P4, “didn’t I just say we care because?” This Ruffin kid has shown in every season now that he is a bigger busy-body than Gladys Kravitz. Molly Hatchet probably just does softball for fun; she has to most likely pay big money for ice time to practice skating, so of course it’s going to take precedent over Mimi’s last minute bullshit.

    Comment by franku2016 — March 27, 2019 @ 9:24 am

  3. Questions, questions, questions:

    So, is Milford set in the Fifties without cellphones? Why would this big reveal have waited until lunch on Monday? Then again, why would Molly and others refer to a synchronized skating exhibition as ‘family stuff’? For that matter, what happened with the scrimmage with Manchester?

    Has anyone checked in with Mike Fillion lately?

    Why is the bite mark in Andre’s burger facing away from him?

    Comment by timbuys — March 27, 2019 @ 9:43 am

  4. Yay for roller derby! I thought of it last night & it seemed perfect. Mimi could be upset, until they made her a jammer.
    This – I don’t get. Ice rinks will be closed by the time softball gets serious.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — March 27, 2019 @ 10:18 am

  5. Teenchy, this is self-serving, I realize, but my blog yesterday offered better explanations than this plot-created-off-the-seat-of-one’s-pants outline.
    The family that skates together stays together? Did someone enter an essay contest and send their manuscript in the literature section of the Saturday Evening Post?
    And check out the denouement of this falderal at the end of “Murder, She Wrote.”

    “The girls were hiding in the ditch behind the softball complex because they didn’t want to confess to Coach Mimi that they were toy soldiers in ‘The Nutcracker Suite.’ I found a clue, some ice skates in one of the sewer pipes. One of the skates was the murder weapon that bludgeoned the poor plot to death. I found blood stains and cliches all over it.”

    Now that the cat’s out of the bag, what do we do for an encore? Send the girls and Papillon to Devil’s Island(“Le France has disposed of you!!!!!!!!!!”)????

    Oh, silly me, I forgot. There’s Filion and his Battle Royale with Nurse Ratchet. And it’s not even April.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 27, 2019 @ 3:21 pm

  6. Teenchy, I got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s part of the lettering making up bullfighting ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hardy Boy #2 is in Barcelona at the Anillo de Toros sitting in the English section, hence explaining the translation in back of him. We have a family of bullfighters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Coach Thorp and Mimi will skip the golf course this year and use the practice football field to teach the fine points of the sport to Keri and Jaime. Gil can drag that costume out of his closet he wore when he was Trick-or-Treating as an 18-year-old. The plot might for once get interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Better stick to skating. Darn, and I was on a roll.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 27, 2019 @ 5:51 pm

  7. Thanks for the update, Mr. T……

    Comment by franku2016 — March 28, 2019 @ 9:25 am

  8. […] of skating (or of blogging?) Linda Carr left on her own, No one likes to play a scrimmage In the infield all […]

    Pingback by Beasts of Milford | This Week in Milford — May 31, 2019 @ 6:14 am

  9. […] Now it’s time to hear from our Milford boy protagonist this season. Pranit Smith appears to be either a phone scammer or an online scammer. Like seemingly every other Milfordian (Milfordite?) these days, he’s somehow under the spell of the little machine in his hand. Maybe he’s trying to land a spot in the Top 100 Scammers List. Since the only boys’ sport we see in the winter is basketball (no pesky gymnastics, skating or rugby to distract them), Pranit’s gonna be playing hoops for Gil. Why the Valley no hockey? There’s a Winter Blast with ice skating, and we saw a figure skater a while back, so… oh, wait, never mind. I’ve beaten this dead horse before. […]

    Pingback by Milford Rocks to the Pranit Rock | This Week in Milford — December 15, 2021 @ 12:10 pm

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