This Week in Milford

June 8, 2019

Coffee Talk with Linda… Carr?

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“Welcome to Coffee Talk. I’m your host Mimi Thorp. On this show we talk about coffee, softball, volleyball, George Orwell – you know, no big whoop. Just Coffee Talk.

“Today I’m coming to you live from the Milford High Teacher’s Lounge. Now which teacher is it for? Well, only one Coach Thorp has their team on the verge of winning the Valley, and it’s not my guest, Coach Gil Thorp, who also happens to be my husband.

“So, nu, how is your baseball team doing?”

“Well, we’ve had better seasons, but I’m proud of the boys for…”

“Feh, no big whoop. Have I told you about my girls and all their interests off the field?  It gives them swagger and it’s infectious. Kind of like toenail fungus.”

“Yeah. I’m seeing more of those ‘TC’ pins.”

“Oh, those. Molly Hatcher got them for 39 cents each. Such a deal. At first it was a fun thing, like a Barbra Streisand marathon. Then the girls had the chutzpah to start deciding who that wasn’t on the team should be getting the pins. So I had them read Animal Farm, let them know that was a verkakte idea.  But let me tell you about Linda Carr. Her swing is like butter, but she’s gotten all shpilkes about her volleyball scholarship.  I gotta get her calmed down; I need her bat for the playdowns.

“All this talk of winning championships has me all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: The ‘Too Cool For School’ buttons are neither too cool nor for school. Discuss.”

(apologies Mike Myers)

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7 Comments »

  1. The kids who DON’T have these silly-ass buttons are really the cool ones. “Gee…I want a button so I can be included with the knitting circle kid and the stuffed hippo collector kid…” I would think clarinet playing, stamp collecting, and barber shop quarteting would be a good fit for this so-called club

    Comment by franku2016 — June 8, 2019 @ 10:34 am

  2. Maybe a week to turn Linda on to music and lose in the playdowns, and then the Summer of Donna?

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — June 8, 2019 @ 10:52 am

  3. I’d like to know what these candy ass buttons would look like after a freight train runs over it. And after I found out I would present it back to Molly or who ever is passing these out.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — June 8, 2019 @ 2:37 pm

  4. tdrew, given your earlier commentary about the Evansville Divide, I may have to find an excuse to write about the infamous blunder involved in condemning the bridge across the Connecticut River at Bellows Falls, Vermont. I love this stuff.

    Comment by vaganova — June 8, 2019 @ 3:48 pm

  5. Vaganova, go for it. I like your stuff, My Man. Vermont is a BEAUTIFUL state, having driven through it and soaked in the splendor and filled with lore. I am ready anytime(Liked Evansville Divide, BTW. It’s about the truth).

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 8, 2019 @ 5:45 pm

  6. Teenchy, LOVED your Talk Show concept, My Man, but(smacking my forehead with sarcastic intentions, Route 66 headin’ down to infinty on the horizon), you forgot a musical rendition in the background.
    How ’bout “Masterpiece Theater Theme”, long as we’re talking about books which number billions behind the MT host or even “Baba O’Riley” from NCIS: The Milford Files? Just don’t go “Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert. Can’t see Gil with a trumpet surrounded by sexy women. Mimi might get shitty and spill her Mimi Mug of Sanka down Gil’s crotch.

    (The original Coffee Talk had a few instrumental bars in its intro, but anything by Barbra Streisand would have worked. – t)

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 8, 2019 @ 8:57 pm

  7. I thought the reason that Mimi finally decided to get involved was that her middle infield was breaking down. Now the button girls are handing out TC awards to anyone who asked, anyone who might have asked, and several people who are desperately trying to avoid them and their buttons. How, exactly, is this going to make Linda feel better about herself and her tragic lot in life? How is this going to improve execution on the hard-hit ground balls?

    Comment by Philip — June 9, 2019 @ 10:39 am


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