This Week in Milford

July 29, 2019

Pissy Faced Ballard

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Pissy Faced Ballard — nedryerson @ 6:12 am


The heck with making Pissy Faced Ballard a tag, I’m just titling the post that (and then tagging it, because we may see that pissy face again before the bonfire).

So here we are, smack dab in the midst of nothing solid. Hadley V. Baxendale did make some noise to the school board, via school board member, Mr. Ballard. Could you describe the noise? No, it’s not important, but she’s such a crackerjack lawyer, it must have been some magnificent noise.

As far as panel three goes, I’ll take it that this is how the School Board conducts its business, by its members chatting on the phone. They should probably put this on the agenda for their next public meeting.


  1. Sorry, I don’t discuss issues concerning students with any outside parties due to privacy issues. Make an appointment to have the family’s representative meet with the school if you wish to do so (as he shreds the letter) now GTFO of my office… creepy lookin bitch….

    Comment by franku2016 — July 29, 2019 @ 7:04 am

  2. I like how we cut to Carol, I assume Ballard, who we have never met before nor have any reason to think she will have bearing on this story.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 29, 2019 @ 7:44 am

  3. For now I’m going to assume this Carol is a fellow board member or some other school official.

    Comment by vaganova — July 29, 2019 @ 8:48 am

  4. Franku, LMAO today at your post. You always get to the heart of the matter, My Friend.

    Judging by Ballard’s caved-in expression(how many seconds before he’s gotta exhale?), I think it’s safe to say Hadley Volare will not be taking out an Automobile Comprehensive & Collision $50,000 Liability policy.
    Ah well, Shrink-Wrap Face might have a rookie door-to-door salesman straight out of college who will pound on Hadley’s door at the Milford Moto-Lodge at 2:00AM, MST(Mudlark Standard Time) and get her to sign on the dotted line. She and Jaquan will be too dreary-eyed to care.

    Like my fellow TWIMers, I am unclear whether the bespectacled Nancy Culp in P3 is wife, fellow board member or drinking buddy at Milford Lounge.

    “Don’t worry, Chief, I’m way ahead of you. I’ll dupe the Clampetts into believing they’re signing for a set of Brittanica’s. They should be evicted from their condos at Mudlark Lake Resort by tomorrow.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 29, 2019 @ 10:51 am

  5. Nancy Kulp, sue me.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 29, 2019 @ 10:52 am

  6. Neal Rubin has a profound allergy to straightforward continuity.

    Better version of panel 2: “I’m not just a lawyer, bitch — I’m a CHICAGO lawyer!”

    Comment by jvwalt — July 29, 2019 @ 11:17 am

  7. She must have Ballard over a barrel, based on his bitter-beer face

    Comment by franku2016 — July 29, 2019 @ 11:33 am

  8. What’s the first name of Dr. so-and-so, the Milford Principal? Perhaps it’s Carol? We’ve never seen her outside of the school building, and I can’t remember if she’s ever given a first name.
    Perhaps she does a “Mr. Rogers” at the end of the day, and switches from her formal Milford sport jacket with elbow patches to a leisurely sweater.
    I do hope she’s not too shocked by this phone call, and thus move her now patch-free elbow, which would knock that very-precariously placed cappuccino right onto her corduroy slacks.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — July 29, 2019 @ 12:23 pm

  9. Dr. Pearl’s first name is Martha.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 29, 2019 @ 2:35 pm

  10. So, is Hadley licensed to practice in whatever state Milford is in? Most states have reciprocity and she is a partner so presumably could be rather easily. More concerning is that I am almost positive that she has a duty to affirmatively avow that she is an attorney when acting on behalf of a putative client, Tiki.

    Comment by timbuys — July 29, 2019 @ 3:54 pm

  11. Tim makes an excellent point. My nephew is a very successful medical doctor(would say so even if we were unrelated, ask even my enemies if I would) but he’s not allowed to prescribe things past the state lines of the state in which he resides. Hadley Venom can just swing her legal weight around? She oughta be valuable when the Aleuts in Alaska have property right disputes.

    P2-“Attaboy, Sluggo, I got something you can REALLY deliver to the postman.”
    “To Hell with you, Fats!!!!!!!! I got an insurance business to run!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    “Not if Tiki winds up again in the gutter, Sluggooooo.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 29, 2019 @ 4:58 pm

  12. Given that Mfnrd is in a state of indeterminacy,(also that Hadley is just being a BSD, and can find a local lawyer if needed) I don’t think licensing and reciprocity are that significant.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — July 29, 2019 @ 6:57 pm

  13. […] Ballard went to when he wanted to make a test case out of Tiki Jansen (in which case her name is Carol), but for the sake of today’s post let’s assume she is. Carol’s seen enough of […]

    Pingback by A Shot of MYOB With a Cup of STFU Chaser | This Week in Milford — October 23, 2019 @ 8:18 am

  14. […] “friend” on the school board. Presumably that’s the aforementioned Carol, who really hasn’t acted very friendly toward Chet. I guess offering advice to mind his own […]

    Pingback by You’ve Got a Friend in Thorpsylvania | This Week in Milford — November 13, 2019 @ 11:28 am

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