This Week in Milford

August 10, 2019

“She told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then she said the facts had no meaning.”


“Ladies and gentlemen, members of the school board, my dad, we’ve just heard from Mr. Ballard a rather lurid description of a truly despicable young man.”

“I had to hand it to her. She tossed a lot of sand in their eyes. She talked about how I’d lost my place in the universe. How I was too ordinary to be the perpetrator of fraud the school board made me out to be, how there was some greater scheme at work that the school district had yet to unravel… She told them to look at me, look at me close. That the closer they looked, the less sense it would all make.”

“Look closely at him. This human, this barber. Oops – wrong Tiki.”

“That I wasn’t the kind of guy to game the system, that I was the safety, for Christ’s sake. I was just like them, an ordinary man. Guilty of living in a school district that had no place for me, yeah. Guilty of wanting to be a Mudlark, sure. But not of fraud.”

“But most specifically, this is a safety’s dilemma. For he is modern man.”

“She said I was modern man.”

“He is your reflection.”

“And if they voted to keep me out of Milford, they’d be practically cinching the noose around their own necks. She told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. And then she said the facts had no meaning.”

Here’s hoping Hadley V. does a better job representing Tiki than Freddy did representing Ed.


  1. Teenchy, I guess what’s sticking in my craw, doesn’t the School Board have their OWN attorney to deal with something as sticky as this?
    I mean, c’mon, what does Hadley Vermin in P2 want us to do, go get a Milford phone book and go down the list and see if residents are actually living at their addresses and actually using the listed numbers?
    I appreciate her and her dad crusading for a student who is in No Man’s Land but the School Board does have a point.
    Unfortunately, if the School Board makes the call on the welfare of a student, it is only fair that the Board makes sure that the student is living in a stable environment. Anything past Mom and Dad and a home with 2.3 children and a 2 car garage, the questions start. And rightfully so.
    As much as I appreciate the Flemings offering to take Tiki in, you ARE taking a chance. It’s one thing to be teammates. It’s quite another when you’re under the same roof and you’re unrelated. You don’t know each other and you hope and pray that any differences can be settled ASAP. But that IS a lotta if’s, and’s, and but’s.
    Again, the School Board didn’t think to call their attorney to sort through all this? They’re just going to let Hadley V. ramble and be Queen in her Court, Ed be King in his Court when she skips town? Only in Thorpiverse.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — August 11, 2019 @ 8:46 am

  2. Based on her logic, any kid can go to any school, no matter where they live. Don’t worry about residency verification kid, it doesn’t matter what roof you live under. Has R&W explained how this dork got through law school yet?

    Comment by franku2016 — August 11, 2019 @ 8:47 am

  3. P3-“This ‘Get On Your High Horse’ moment is brought to you by Milford Optical. Where our BOGO special on lawyer’s glasses plus our 1/2 off special on eye exams this week allow you to fluff your stuff at no additional cost. At Milford Optical, being in charge with twice the arrogance and half the price is what we do best.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — August 11, 2019 @ 9:59 am

  4. Our 17-year-old son has been going to school in the same district since kindergarten. But just this past week, for his senior year in HS, we still had to verify our residency, with a property tax bill in our names, and paycheck stubs made out to our address. These documents needed to be approved and we needed to be re-certified just so he could apply for his class schedule.

    Schools take this stuff seriously, and everyone’s correct, they would have had their own lawyer(s) on this long ago, rather than local unpaid school board members trying to match wits with a fancy-pants Chicago lawyer whose fiancee is a famous basketball star.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — August 11, 2019 @ 2:37 pm

  5. Much of what attorneys do is to avoid litigation by trying to persuade people to do what they should have done in the first place. No good attorney would prefer to slap Ballard with a writ of gimmetakem when the possibility of a non-legal settlement is open. Tiki can enroll at any school he likes. The question is whether his tuition is paid out of taxes or out of pocket, and out of whose pocket. Thus I am surprised only that HvB has not raised this point. Legally, this should hinge on whether New Thayer has to cover the tab or the Jansens do. Athletic eligibility is a separate issue which the school board has no say in– that’s up to the conference or the state ed department’s athletics board.

    Comment by vaganova — August 11, 2019 @ 2:51 pm

  6. This story and HvB are annoying af. Can’t wait for football to start

    Comment by franku2016 — August 11, 2019 @ 4:28 pm

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