This Week in Milford

September 18, 2019

The Air In the Front Yard Is Cooler Than the Air Coming Out of You*


Back from a brief hiatus and feeling a bit refreshed. Know what else would be refreshing? A story arc about a player who just wants to get better and actually gets better through coaching. A kid whose parents are simply supportive of his or her interests and not trying to live vicariously through them or project their own shortcomings onto them.

But that would be asking too much, wouldn’t it? Far easier to trot out the cardboard villain adult who puts it where it doesn’t belong to try to advance their kid’s causes for their own selfish motives. Here busybody Ballard feels that need to for reasons known only to him. Where does he plan to use his observation about Chance Macy? As evidence that the kid is too gassed/hurt to come out to party** and, as such, deserves to be benched in favor of Charlie? Or that his not coming out to party is evidence that he’s not a team player and, as such, deserves to be benched in favor of Charlie?

Either way, it’ll be another strike against Ballard, whose big swing and a miss on Tiki Jansen makes this strike two.

*Alternate title: Chet Ballard, Backdoor Man. Is that an actual transom above the Schuring’s back door?

**Pretty confident of the Schurings to plan a postgame victory party at their house, innit?


  1. Is Chet really Non, General Zod’s right hand man? Sources say yes, because they want him banished to the Phantom Zone.

    Comment by billytheskink — September 18, 2019 @ 8:22 am

  2. This guy is such a dick, up there on the Uncle Gary level. Why is he creepin’ on the kids? Why is so concerned about slinkin’ around the house to watch them when he should just be gettin’ hammered with the other parents? Plus, none of those kids are really his, which makes this even weirder. Great way to get Charlie to call you “Dad”. And so-fuckin-what if there’s a kid who decided to not attend? When did you hear that this was a mandatory-attendance event, Chet? After those amaaazing sloppy joes, I’m surprised that there more kids who said “thanks, but no thanks” to Schuring’s Kiddie-Parent get-together. That woman must have been really desperate to marry this goof-ball.

    Comment by franku2016 — September 18, 2019 @ 9:12 am

  3. “What’s a transom, teenchy?”

    (Sorry, that’s an allusion to a line in Drugstore Cowboy, and will probably amuse nobody but me.)

    (Not lost on me! – t)

    Comment by nedryerson — September 18, 2019 @ 10:00 am

  4. While Chet’s behavior is truly creepy (and he does look amazingly like Zod’s sidekick. Let’s see him try to ignite a stick with his glare) the school board actually does have a legitimate role in oversight. They’re in charge, after all, setting policy and supervising the super, principal, and coach. But if Chet tries it his way, the kids would be completely entitled to react like the neighborhood teenager in “Rocky,” with “Screw you, Creepo.”

    I too, am curious what Chet will make of Chance Macy’s absence. All I am sure of of is that he will make some asinine use of this fact.

    Comment by vaganova — September 18, 2019 @ 2:41 pm

  5. Sheesh, I thought the school board meets once a month and then gets the hell out of the way. Not this turd.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 18, 2019 @ 5:09 pm

  6. All it would take is one of the girls saying “….daaaad! That guy has been staring at me and my friends all night!…. he’s creepy!…. can you do something about him?….”

    Comment by franku2016 — September 18, 2019 @ 6:13 pm

  7. What is wrong with me that I felt compelled to look up that character’s name. It is ‘Non’. Y’all are welcome.

    Comment by timbuys — September 18, 2019 @ 6:48 pm

  8. In today’s strip, some of the dads confront Chet and ask him “why are you so infatuated with Chance Macy…it seems a little unhealthy for a grown man goin’ around a party asking why a specific boy isn’t there, wouldn’t you agree, Chet?…you know what Chet? maybe you should get your ass tf outta’ here before we kick it out,….literally….now go on….GIT’…motherfuckin’ perv… should listen to your wife….And by the way…no one could give a fuck that you’re a ‘school board member'”, dickwad…”

    Comment by franku2016 — September 19, 2019 @ 9:20 am

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