This Week in Milford

September 23, 2019

Ease Up, Ballard


The theme of the fall plot so far is: Chet Gotta Chet.

Today we see him camped out on the front porch, waiting to grill Charlie about football practice. (Maybe that’s a rear entrance with a sliding glass door? It seems like a wide opening for a standard door. Look at all those parallel lines: flooring, siding, a multi tiered tiled deck. That’s some serious drafting. Yes, the architectural details are more arresting than the third or fourth occurrence of Chet Ballard’s overbearing parenting.)

I don’t know anything about high school football practice. I always pictured it as a lot of jumping jacks, running and other conditioning, maybe throw in some drills. Y’all are going to have to enlighten me. Of course there must be scrimmaging too with starters getting more reps than back ups. That seems more like a professional thing that can be picked apart all week by the 900 gossipy shows on ESPN. “Eli’s not getting the bulk of reps in practice and he’s sulking in his Porsche!!”

What is revealed is that Charlie is not just ambivalent toward Chet. He’s kind of over it. Maybe he should have a chat with his mom.


  1. He should have a chat with his mom. something like “hey! ..where’d you find this clown and why is he trying to live vicariously through me? …what did I do to you to deserve this?…if you don’t want me here, just say so and I will find another place to live, like that Tiki kid did…”

    Comment by franku2016 — September 23, 2019 @ 6:27 am

  2. “Ease up”?! I dunno if Charlie’s been getting reps, but he’s clearly been spending a lot of time around Gil and Kaz.

    Comment by billytheskink — September 23, 2019 @ 7:45 am

  3. We all know Chet is overbearing, but from this conversation, pretty standard stuff that any parent may and probably should ask. Ease up? How bout a lighten up Francis for Chucky? But the lame dialogue falls on Rubin’s mouse shoulders.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 23, 2019 @ 8:16 am

  4. Chet is digging deeper in a no-win situation. Can he come up with something creative?
    Maybe a billboard campaign? Video raid on Tilden? Adopt a rugby player? Peacock?

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — September 23, 2019 @ 10:41 am

  5. Nice call Downpuppy. Clearly an emotional support peacock is in order. Incidentally, it turns out that there are colonies of peacocks that roam around Houston so we got that going for us.

    Also, agree with JT. Two questions and a vague unspoken vow to ‘stay on top of this’ doesn’t seem too overly much. With initiative like this, I do wonder how successful of an insurance salesman Chet is and that’s to say nothing of his fecklessness as a member of the School Board.

    Comment by timbuys — September 23, 2019 @ 10:58 am

  6. Well, another Overbearing-parent-thinks-he-can-coach-his-son(or stepson in this case)-better-than-Gil-until-the-end-of-the-season-where-Chet-dumps-his-chocolate-in-Gil’s-peanut-butter-and-tells-Chet-to-F-off-and-buy-his-own-Reese’s-at-Milford-Confectionary-and-beleaguered-son-signs-Letter-of-Intent-to-USC-to-be-the-long-snapper arc.
    Thank God, I have plenty of Jiffy Pop in the cupboard. And butter in the fridge.
    I would have had Shake ‘n’ Bake on tap but I didn’t want to miss the part where Gil is quoting out of the Bible or Guideposts.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — September 23, 2019 @ 12:50 pm

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