This Week in Milford

December 18, 2019

Nothing Like a Roast for the Holidays


knock-kneed (/ˌnäkˈnēd/), adj. 1. (of a person) having legs that curve inwards so that the feet are apart when the knees are touching. “The patient had a distinctly knock-kneed gait.” 2. Teddy DeMarco Teddy DeMarco’s stooge (see edit below).

So when dude with the roadrunner fade (who turns out to be Teddy DeMarco; thanks Tim for pointing that out) and Captain Marvel shirt challenges Teddy stooge to “go old school,” that means “walk up to a kid in the cafeteria and roast him.”  Ohhh-kayyy.  Shouldn’t the roast be at least fully baked?  Without the punctuation of a high-five, would anyone have known that was the punchline?  If the roastee is already engaging in self-deprecation, doesn’t that kind of take the edge off the roast?  It’d be easy enough for Chris to come back with something like “Yeah, I know, but basketball’s not my main sport. I was the starting quarterback on the football team, in case you hadn’t noticed.”  Easier still to escalate into a roast battle: “Oh, I guess you were too busy holding that aspirin between your knees to notice. You shouldn’t have bothered; it’s not like anybody wants to go between your knees anyway.  And what’s with your pal there? Coyote after you?”
The apparently good-natured Chris Schuring doesn’t seem to be aware that Teddy just tried to roast him or, for that matter, that Teddy doesn’t even like him, something Alexa alluded to recently.  He may not be the golden child that True Standish was but so far we don’t see that he has any negative qualities.  Something tells me he will serve as the mirror which will reflect Teddy and Alexa’s shortcomings back on them.
*metapost: Edited to reflect which character is actually Teddy.


  1. This knock-kneed geek is supposed to be the class bully, or smart-ass, or whatever? High schools must’ve changed since I was last there, in the 1970’s, but if a kid like like that started some shit with one of the jocks that played both football and basketball, he would at the very least have a knuckle-sandwich delivered right there on the spot, get roughed up in one of the school bathrooms, pushed/tripped in the hall, have an unfortunate accident in gym class, or have possibly all or a combination of these things happen. Jocks can’t let geeks fuck with them, or they never will live it down in practice once their teammates figure out that they are push-overs.

    Comment by franku20166 — December 18, 2019 @ 10:10 am

  2. Teenchy, remember Rick Rhoden? His grandson showed up today doing a poor version of Don Rickles

    “Ya hockey puck!!!!!!!! You can’t even score if Lulu from Hee Haw was in the back seat with you!!!!!!!!!”

    Rhoden had my admiration. I remember seeing him pitch in the ’80’s and he could bring it even though he looked like his legs could buckle at any time. Sometimes it was pitiful to watch but he had a long productive career so he did something right. And he was no joke with the bat. In fact, many times Pittsburgh would use him as a pinch-hitter. Made solid contact with the ball every time. I salute you, Rick.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — December 18, 2019 @ 1:04 pm

  3. I agree with the Teench. My impression is that DeMarco and Schuring are teammates, and that DeMarco is resorting to the time honored method of leadership favored by insecure high school boys, namely being an asshole. And I suspect that Schuring, who thus far seems to float above the petty actions of those around him, may turn out to be the mirror described. Alexa has character issues to learn, and DeMarco needs is a few years to overcome his being a case of arrested development.

    Comment by vaganova — December 18, 2019 @ 3:58 pm

  4. A quick check of Rick Rhoden reveals a very impressive career over the years, including two Silver Slugger awards.

    Not much of a zinger from our wannabe insult comic, who I think is the one being goaded by Teddy DeMarco.

    Bonus point: Teddy DeMarco (hair guy) has the smallest soul patch in the history of facial hair.

    Comment by timbuys — December 18, 2019 @ 5:30 pm

  5. When I think back to the craptastic Pirates of the mid 80s, I sometimes get Rick Rhoden and Rick Reuschel confused.

    Comment by nedryerson — December 19, 2019 @ 9:42 am

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