This Week in Milford

January 4, 2020

All Suited Up and No Place to Go


Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit.  Gil Thorp is actually doing something tantamount to coaching today, but could he go about it any more awkwardly?

I mean really.  He pulls the kid out of class, makes him suit up in his game uniform, then makes him come back into his office to stand in front of his enormous window while he lectures him.  What sort of bizarre power trip/sexual peccadillo is at work here, I leave to the mind of the reader.  Talk amongst yourselves.

With that out of the way, let’s figure out how this weird scene advances the plot.  Schuring doesn’t mind taking the shots in practice against his crappy teammates, but hesitates to shoot against actual competition.  Now, at Gil’s direction, he’ll take more shots during games.  He’ll miss his share and, when he does, Teddy DeMarco will get into his head.  Good guy Chris will pretend not to care until he actually does, and his academics will suffer in turn.  Meanwhile Chris’ caring teammates will duct tape DeMarco into a locker until Teddy whines about his bad home life or whatever bullshit excuse bullies use for being bullies.  Everybody kisses and makes up and Milford still misses the playdowns.  Someone makes a lame joke and everyone exits, stage left, through a hallway.

What about all that valedictorian drama? That’ll have to wait until after spring sports are over and the school year ends, sometime around the Fourth of July.




  1. Oh My God,
    Teenchy, when my nephew played high school baseball, one day he got called in the office because of a misunderstanding on class attendance. Coach didn’t want to do it because he knew my nephew was a good student but the coach still had to chew him out or the coach wouldn’t be doing his job.
    But he didn’t make my nephew put on his uniform or run laps around the gym. The gist of the conversation was even though I know you meant no harm, just be a little wiser next time. But no lectures about his PT while he’s missing Physics lab.

    If nothing else, the tree looks genuine in P1, unlike the one growing out of that 3-headed monster in P2. Talk about Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — January 4, 2020 @ 11:00 pm

  2. The doormat of my wife’s grandmother used to read ‘Butter my butt and call me a biscuit!’ and, so help me, I never knew what the hell to make of it.

    Comment by timbuys — January 5, 2020 @ 6:54 pm

  3. […] for Milford High valedictorian? A reluctance to take shots, apparently.  If not for the media relations director of the National Cherry Festival (at least I think that’s who she is; fits Rubin’s MO of […]

    Pingback by Susan Gets the Cherries, Alexa Gets the Pits | This Week in Milford — January 8, 2020 @ 10:28 am

  4. […] worked out for him? He had a good game against Oakwood but how did that translate from Gil’s directive to “pounce”? He hasn’t pounced on that punk-ass DeMarco kid yet, much less throw […]

    Pingback by Phoebe’s Electric! | This Week in Milford — February 15, 2020 @ 5:03 pm

  5. […] am. Get out your crayons and your pencils and start connecting these dots. Somewhere between Chris pouncing on that old test copy and shooting it into the library wastebasket, Kaz playing “smell my […]

    Pingback by Weird Science | This Week in Milford — March 11, 2020 @ 7:48 am

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