This Week in Milford

February 3, 2020

I’m Not Gonna Take My Shot

Filed under: actual action, basketball — nedryerson @ 7:02 am

02032020

Hey, did everybody have a good weekend? If you’re so inclined, did you watch the annual NFL spectacle? How about those commercials, huh? Wacky. How about that halftime show? People like butts and boy, did they deliver butts. How about that game? It looked like one team was gonna win and then the other team won. Captivating! Did I mention butts? Just acres of rippling booty!

Oh crap, we’re here to talk about Gil Thorp. We were left hanging as the the ball was being dished to Alexa so she could fulfill her destiny and take shots. That’s what Mimi has been working on with Alexa all season. That’s what her teammates have been razzing her about. We want you to take the shots when they’re there!

Now here we are on Monday morning and here’s Alexa trying to absorb the ball into her abdomen, her face panicked. This is my shot. I’m supposed to take this shot. But what if I BONK! this one? My teammates won’t like me! I won’t be valedictorian! Maybe I should pass to Cessna….wait, that’s her name, right? Or is it Cressida? Oh well, either way…here you go!

Tech intercepts the pass, or swats it away from Cressa, who may or may not been unprepared to receive the ball after watching Alexa try to squeeze all the air out of it for an interminable length of time.

Face palm from Hiawatha James in the stands. She didn’t take her shot. It’s sad trombones, all the way down.

 

11 Comments »

  1. In real life, a clumsy dork who is afraid to take such an easy shot on multiple occasions would find themselves on the bench, but not with Mimi. She will devote all her effort into makin’ this girl a baller’ while neglecting bestie, and the rest of the team.

    Comment by franku2016 — February 3, 2020 @ 7:57 am

  2. Yeah, not too sure I would name my daughter Cressa if Wikipedia is to believed.

    Bonus point: I kinda like the art in P2. Chris is recognizable and his jaw is obviously clenched in frustration.

    One of our family cars at one point was a Cressida. I have little memory of it other than that it was white and was fancy for a Toyota.

    Comment by timbuys — February 3, 2020 @ 8:38 am

  3. Why isn’t her ass riding the pine since she clearly refuses to do what her coach and her teammates are saying??

    Comment by hitorque — February 3, 2020 @ 9:16 am

  4. I enjoyed your cameo during the Super Bowl, Ned!

    Comment by teenchy — February 3, 2020 @ 9:17 am

  5. Bing!

    That was an awesome commercial. They made it look great. Of course they got the “real” Ned (Stephen Tobolowsky) and Brian Doyle Murray.

    Inspired. I’m still not buying a Jeep though.

    Comment by nedryerson — February 3, 2020 @ 9:58 am

  6. @timbuys: Yep…Schuring has been takin’ shit from that jag-off Demarco for the entire story in great stride but looks like he’s gonna’ blow a gasket over Alexa’s tentative and game-costing play

    Comment by franku2016 — February 3, 2020 @ 10:12 am

  7. The baseline shot is difficult, as you dont have the backboard to use as a bumper in case the shot is too hard..You need a nice arc and a soft rim. How is that ‘her’ shot, since she doesnt shoot much? I always admired good baseline shots, the force has to be perfect and occasionally they’ll bank it in at a tough angle. I remember Jordan driving the baseline and stuffing it in Pat Ewings face in the playoffs. Thats a video Alexa can observe:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vQGGMqHiQU

    Comment by robmize2013 — February 3, 2020 @ 12:04 pm

  8. I agree about the difficulty of the baseline shot, even though I didn’t play enough basketball to have a valuable opinion on the matter. In the old days when we had a key (yes, I am that old) it was very nearly a layup. I think what Hiawatha means is that “That’s a shot she should take rather than sending it outside.” And not to be critical of Alexa, it appears her situational awareness is not the best, in that she set Cressa up to be stripped. Many years ago we had an exchange student from Haarlem in the Netherlands. She was 6-5 and a good athlete, and the basketball coach convinced her to play center. She had little experience and was terrified of shooting, though she was indispensable guarding throw-ins– she’d frustrate the opponent into bad-odds passes. So Alexa’s not alone.

    Comment by vaganova — February 3, 2020 @ 1:19 pm

  9. The baseline shot isn’t difficult at all if someone practices it as much as other locations.

    There’s a reason why the corner 3-pointer is so popular — It’s shorter distance. Nevermind the fact that baselines are frequently “blind spots” that a defense can neglect and that allows a skilled player to shoot, drive+finish, distribute, or otherwise exploit from a dangerous position. No small or power forward has become a true offensive force without knowing how to drive/create on the baseline and nail the corner 3…

    Comment by hitorque — February 3, 2020 @ 4:27 pm

  10. I defer to hitorque, who clearly knows the game far better than I. And I suddenly remember a game I saw in the Boston Garden during the ’93 playoffs, against Charlotte. Kevin McHale scored 30, nearly all of it either baseline or I-can’t-believe-he-turned-that-way layups. I kept thinking “Why can’t they stop him?” After the game, he mentioned to the Globe that Larry Bird had told him that near retirement, he would have a game like that.

    Comment by vaganova — February 3, 2020 @ 4:41 pm

  11. P3-The Amazing Kreskin at the game

    “Is there someone here in the studio audience that is thinking of shooting Alexa with an Uzi because she passed up the open look? It’s narrowed down to Mimi Thorp and the teenager in the 3rd row with the ‘Milford Rules’ sign.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 3, 2020 @ 8:27 pm


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