This Week in Milford

February 17, 2020

As Lame As Lame Gets


Let me get this straight. Chris Schuring talked to Phoebe Keener to share his technique for improving his basketball game and Phoebe is passing it along to Alexa. This technique is move aggressively about in the hallway, dominating other with one’s superior size and agility. I guess it’s a decent idea to develop an instinct or muscle memory in a sense. Still, walking around in crowds of other people in everyday situations is not like being on a basketball court. It’s more like sharing the road with other cars and we’re all urged to drive defensively, not aggressively. The stakes aren’t quite as high in the halls, but some poor kid is probably going to get wiped out as Alexa embraces her inner road hog. Ms. Perrine almost went down, for crying out loud.



  1. This story is really reaching. So she hip-checked a teacher or school employee (Ms. Perrine) into a locker? Wouldn’t that get her disciplined by the school somehow? And who tf is Schuring to tell her to do this shit as he’s been letting that Demarco kid mostly push him around all year. He should stfu and take his own advice….or maybe he’s just tryin’ to get her to do something stupid so he gets the valedictorian spot. She’s obviously dumb enough to take the bait.

    Comment by franku2016 — February 17, 2020 @ 12:41 pm

  2. Okay, I officially hate this dumbassed storyline… I miss the days when Milford kids would find some awesome website or youtube channel that would solve all their life issues.

    This wouldn’t ever be an issue if Gilberto and Mrs. Gilberto ever, you know, knew the first fucking thing about coaching up their high school players…

    Imagine if it was a boy who got this advice — The entire flavor of this strip turns sour real quick, doesn’t it??

    Comment by hitorque — February 17, 2020 @ 1:31 pm

  3. Agree with Hitorque. This story has officially out-dumbed the last three (Chet + breaking-every-privacy-law imaginable, HvB + Stupid-ass NBA player, and TCFS pins + dumb softball girls)

    Comment by franku2016 — February 17, 2020 @ 2:58 pm

  4. This is a rectangle. The rectangle is our friend. It can serve as a backdrop in a lethargic plot or be the playing surface shape at your nearest neighborhoor outdoor basketball court.

    And having watched NBA games forever and watched Shaq brutalize people down low when he had the ball, it’s hard for me to imagine that the development of his basketball career got started when he waylayed a substitute teacher in the hallway.

    Oops, there’s that word again.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 17, 2020 @ 3:03 pm

  5. […] Well, it looks like Phoebe’s theory was borne out. The Jefferson defender is getting out of the way and giving Alexa a smooth path to the hoop. (Hey, there’s that rectangle again.) […]

    Pingback by Smooth Alexa Is Smooth | This Week in Milford — February 24, 2020 @ 7:21 am

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