This Week in Milford

March 21, 2020

The Bad Touch


What is it about Alexa Watson that makes Milford High female faculty and staff want to touch her? First it was Mimi smacking her backside in practice; now it’s brown haired guidance counselor type lady making goo goo eyes while reaching in to caress the back of Alexa’s (much larger) hand. Is this her way of helping Alexa land her coveted valedictory prize? Not sure what’s odder: that Alexa appears to lack nail beds, or that Rubin finds all this touching of students appropriate in this day and age. (That’d be true even given these strips were submitted to the syndicate well in advance. Too soon for jokes on our current situation, and the toilet paper memes ceased being funny after about the 450th one.)

On to our usual underwhelming little Saturday cliffhanger. This is gonna end up like that old Warner Brothers cartoon The Dover Boys at Pimento University where the goofy running gag background character ends up with the girl, isn’t it? Phoebe will be your valedictorian without ever having to go upside anyone’s noggin.



  1. You heard it here first. The valedictorian will end up as a tie. Then Chris and Alexa will touch each other’s hands in celebration.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — March 21, 2020 @ 8:55 pm

  2. P2-“You’re soaking in Palmolive, Mrs. Brown Haired Guidance Counselor.”
    “Damn, Madge, why didn’t you tell me? Looks like you just lost your Valedictorian battle with Alexa.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 21, 2020 @ 9:39 pm

  3. Hmm. The Saturday cliffhanger is “Hmm. About that…” Will that title suddenly be out of reach, and go to Chris, or better yet to some erstwhile foot soldier such at Phoebe? Or, just to be perverse, will it develop that Teddy DeMarco, using bootleg exams as prep material, has run up the score unnoticed? Most schools tell you only your own class rank until graduation time, when the “top ten” or whatever are introduced, and I suspect a third candidate will relieve both Chris and Alexa of that burden. Besides, admissions offices don’t care that much. “Being valedictorian” is very high school, and while the colleges look for excellent grades, they are often a necessary but not sufficient condition. They ask other questions. Did you take all the hard courses? What have you accomplished independently? Can you handle responsibility? What do you have to contribute to a “well rounded class?” I know that some schools go entirely by the numbers– I’ve seen it– but the ones these kids are probably interested in usually take a broader approach. Each year, my college has many more valedictorians apply than there are openings, but the class is never made up exclusively of valedictorians. Far from it.

    I remember being back on campus for a visit and learning of an unusual application. A friend from the admissions office explained that one of the personal essay questions was “What is the riskiest thing you have ever done?”

    The applicant wrote “This is.”

    She was admitted. Needless to say, she was a superb candidate to begin with, but that “essay” sealed it. She was the talk of the office for years afterward.

    Comment by vaganova — March 22, 2020 @ 12:10 pm

  4. Teenchy, LMAO at your comparison. I have never seen this Looney Tunes before and glad you brought it TWIM. Keep ’em coming, My Man.

    Yeah, Teddy is wandering the hallways when he’s not inserting a whoopee cushion underneath Dr. Pearl’s foam seat mattress or stuffing a frog in Gil’s hair, then at graduation gets the Key to the City of Milford for graduating Summa Cum Laude. Alexa and Chris are in shock and hand back their scholarships. Oops, better not give Thorpiverse any ideas for upcoming plots.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 22, 2020 @ 2:09 pm

  5. I’m impressed with you teenchy on 2 fronts – honoring my new tag of ‘brown hair’ , and doing so even displaying the strip in black and white, so the brown hair isnt even apparent. I failed to mention that her yellow top goes perfectly with her brown hair, again only noticeable in living color. So few fairly attractive people in this strip that this one has risen past almost everyone already.

    One other thing – Alexa is putting her hand on the counselors’ – you were implying the opposite. And the counselor is the one without nailbeds. The color strip helps differentiate.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 22, 2020 @ 3:13 pm

  6. Rob, I get that. But if I look at the b&w strip, I would draw the conclusion that the word balloons were pointing in the direction of the person speaking. The word balloon on the left is brown haired guidance counselor type lady’s lines, while the “thanks” is Alexa’s. Friday’s strip (b&w or color) would also lead me to believe Alexa has the bigger hands. Any way you slice it, kinda strange.

    Comment by teenchy — March 22, 2020 @ 6:18 pm

  7. I agree with teenchy, both because of the direction of the dialogue arrows and the relative size of the two hands. We are told Alexa is 6-1, and thus would probably have the larger hands. In any case it seems unlikely she would be patting the counselor’s hand.

    Comment by vaganova — March 22, 2020 @ 6:23 pm

  8. I hate to belabor my point anymore, but:

    1. On Friday we had Alexa on our left and the counselor on our right.
    2. Alexa was wearing a purple top on Friday.
    3. On Saturday in P2 we see the purple sleeve of one hand on our left and the other hand underneath it with just a bit of yellow sleeve on our right.
    4. And Saturday P3 we see Alexa’s purple top again, confirming that the hand on the left in P2 is Alexa’s, which makes sense given the #1 statement.
    5. So its Alexa with the purple sleeve saying ‘While your here…’ (dialogue pointing left) and the counselor says ‘Thanks’ (dialogue pointing right) And its Alexa putting her hand on the counselors’.
    6. Hand size is irrelevant in my opinion– the way this artist draws a lot of things are a crapshoot. We all know that. So I’m throwing out that one.

    . I have no idea why either of them need to defend Chris – Gil talked to the principal about it and she suspended Teddy. Guidance counselors arent involved in disciplinary action, period. But since the counselor is an adult authority, it makes more sense for her to do it then a student like Alexa, for what its worth.

    I rest my case– who knew one panel would cause such a stir? Hey, its more fun then watching reruns of old games every day.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 22, 2020 @ 7:27 pm

  9. Rob, Your point is well-taken and in Thorpiverse Topography, anything goes, as I’m sure you and everybody else is painfully aware.
    It does appear, judging by the caption balloons, that the counselor is putting her hand on Alexa’s hand. To me, this is a sorry-ass excuse for a Palmolive commercial(ha).
    I’m reluctant to say that because all our TWIMer contributors do an excellent job. I read all the stuff cuz it’s funny. And I mean funny.
    Plus, Lord knows I’ve made my share of mistakes. When I was umpiring softball, I called a catch on a play by the right-fielder that was clearly “no catch”. The runner going to second was unfortunately doubled off thanks to my bad call. And I had to eject a guy, something I didn’t want to do in that situation. It was a wonder how I got out of that small town(ha).

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 22, 2020 @ 7:36 pm

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