This Week in Milford

March 23, 2020

Alexa? Alexa! Call Me!

Filed under: Brown Hair, huge earrings, Peering Over Eyeglasses, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:04 am


There are lots of things that are driving us nuts these day, like for instance a global pandemic and all the mitigation strategies that will keep us severely confined. Some might say these conditions are the precise reason why we all need to chill the fuck out and not sweat the small stuff. But what about us in the comics blogging and commenting commenting community? Sweating the small stuff is what gives us a comfort and respite from the frightening realities of the real world. So in that spirit, let’s really sweat the small stuff!

First off, have we ever been given any indication of who has the lead in this valedictorian “competition”? I assume it’s mostly GPA driven.* It’s not that I’m asking this strip to detail whatever points system might be in place at MHS, it’s just that some character could actually say “Chris Schuring has a higher GPA” or whatever so that this meeting with the counselor could actually make sense and not just seem like just a cryptic hand touching and glasses lowering ceremony.

Based on today’s strip, I think we’re supposed to conclude that Chris Schuring has the lead and is offering to share the glory with Alexa Watson. This is the pretext for another confrontation even though the academic year is not over. If these two were so close in standing, you would think that the outcome would still be up in the air and our brown haired counselor even says as much! But let’s not let reason stand in the way of manufactured drama. Unless these two are going to toss social distancing to the wind and bone already!

Am I really “shipping” Alexa and Chris (Chralexa? Alexris)? Only for humor. Do I really think social distancing or any aspect of what’s happening in “the real world” will show up in Gil Thorp? No, it’s the 1950s with cell phones in Milford and they’re still concerned about the polio virus being spread in public pools.

*If I really strain hard, I can remember a little bit of drama in my high school about who would be valedictorian. I can’t remember who actually received the honor, but I do remember a handful of people who were in the running and a few of them were very Type A about it. There was even some mild shit talking which, even then, I found really annoying.  In that last semester of senior year, I was accepted into college and really wanted to get the fuck out of there.


  1. P 4: “…hey….no problem Sugar Britches….I can do it alone then…”

    Comment by franku2016 — March 23, 2020 @ 7:46 am

  2. I like this guidance counselor’s Horatio Caine glasses game. Other than that… basketball?

    It is doubly frustrating because, here in the real world, no one can play basketball.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 23, 2020 @ 7:48 am

  3. Ned, yes. Normally class rank is determined entirely by averages. There are problems with this, in that not everybody takes the same classes, and many schools have introduced “weighting”– harder classes counting more– to allow for this. There is probably no way to do it completely fairly. Other things such as activities, offices held, “citizenship,” etc, come into account for other honors, such as National Honor Society membership, but with class rank it’s all numbers.

    Comment by vaganova — March 23, 2020 @ 8:21 am

  4. vaganova, maybe a tie is decided with a swimsuit competition?

    Comment by nedryerson — March 23, 2020 @ 11:35 am

  5. Massachusetts has a statewide point system. 4 for an A, +/- good for 1/3 pt up or down. A+ requires a 98 average in a course. +.5 for Honors courses, +1 for AP
    Valedictorian deVille is usually in the 4.5-4.8 range, and there’s never been a tie.

    Comment by Downpuppy, still (@Downpuppy) — March 23, 2020 @ 11:43 am

  6. We were on a five point scale with a scheme similar to the one Downpuppy describes and you had to be around 5.5 to be in the Valedictorian conversation. I don’t recall there being any shame ending up as the Salutatorian for what that’s worth.

    Alexa really needs to be talking to a different kind of counselor a this point.

    Comment by timbuys — March 23, 2020 @ 12:12 pm

  7. Hate to nitpick again, but I wore glasses for 27 years, and only people that wear reading glasses pull down their glasses to talk like BH is doing in P1. If she wears them all the time she wouldnt be doing that because I never did. She appears to need them all the time from what we’ve seen.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 23, 2020 @ 1:19 pm

  8. Is BH really Chet’s wife?

    Comment by franku2016 — March 23, 2020 @ 1:34 pm

  9. Pay attention to downpuppy’s discussion of class rank in Massachusetts. He has the facts right, as I know from having been involved in the original discussions of the new system. But also bear in mind that the notion that person’s achievement can be reduced to a single number is absurd. Stephen Jay Gould, and my mentor, Howard Gardner, exploded that idea, along with the idea of single number “IQ” tests, in the early 1990s, I hope for all time.

    At my college, the admissions office did not make statistical distinctions between kids with really high grades or SATs. If your class rank was in a certain single digit percentage, or your combined SATs were 1540 or better, you went into a category one could think of as “really smart,” and admissions were made on other more meaningful things, such as character and voluntary accomplishments. But still we push kids into the absurd notion that it is vital to be .003 points ahead of someone else on a scale which is already arbitrary.

    Comment by vaganova — March 23, 2020 @ 2:41 pm

  10. Rob, My Man, don’t EVER think you’re nitpicking. That’s what the Comments section is for. Like Scotty Davenport, a local sports DJ here in my neck of the woods, says “I may not agree with your opinion but I will respect it.” In this case, I’m in total agreement.

    This momentarily-shed-the-bifocals-to-say-something-REALLY-important is a threadbare strategy used by Thorpiverse. Gee, if only Mrs. Brown-Haired Guidance Counselor would peel those off and say to the Fourth Estate “This plot sucks.” But she’d have to go to Milford Optical for an extra pair of glasses. Apparently Milford Optical never heard of BOGO.
    So we suffer.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 23, 2020 @ 6:40 pm

  11. franku2016– No BH isnt Chets wife, She had darker hair and no glasses.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 23, 2020 @ 8:00 pm

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