This Week in Milford

May 11, 2020

Expelled! Dun Dun DUN!

Filed under: Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 5:54 am

We’re really making a meal out of this visit to Dr. Pearl’s office. Of course everybody knows that readers forget details when the go without a Sunday strip, so Mike Knappe repeats his peanut butter line. Maybe it bears repeating anyway, as Mike voices the common sense reaction to the district Policy. I was just spreading peanut butter! I had no intent to harm anybody!

So our incremental (yet exciting!) move forward is the reveal of the terms of the Policy. Expulsion! The Mayor is out. It’s time to call St. Fabian’s. I hear they still let students make switchblades and zip guns in metal shop.

Up next, we’ll have Mama Knappe’s reaction. Will she break down in tears and rend her garments? Will she call Dr Pearl a shortsighted, doctrinaire tool of failing public education? Will her reaction give Gil enough cover to slip away and get back to baseball “practice”? Stay tuned.


  1. So there it is. It turns out this entire story really is about the insanity of “zero tolerance” policies. Notice that it’s “district policy,” though, rather than a state mandate as it is in most places. This gives Knappe’s defender, presumably Gil, a chance to possibly do something about it. When my star student got the shoe for bringing a squirt gun to school, we didn’t have that alternative.

    Comment by vaganova — May 11, 2020 @ 6:21 am

  2. Dumb ass Gil being a dumb ass says it’s not a suspension. Oh that’s a relief. ITS AN EXPULSION!! Is that how you break bad news to someone? Put them at ease then drop the sledgehammer?! What an absolute cock knocker! Pops is on the way right? Hope he brings a real weapon and kills them all!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — May 11, 2020 @ 7:15 am

  3. JT…. yeah, pops could do it, or maybe Mike comes back later and blasts granny to eternity with a line like “… that wasn’t a weapon…. but this is….”

    Comment by franku2016 — May 11, 2020 @ 9:19 am

  4. The ‘young man’ part really seals the deal in terms of them maximizing the humiliation of the Mayor.

    Comment by timbuys — May 11, 2020 @ 9:46 am

  5. Time for HvB to swoop in and put up an asinine argument like “… shouldn’t all students be able to enjoy a yummy nutritious breakfast at their leisure with common kitchen utensils?…”

    Comment by franku2016 — May 11, 2020 @ 10:26 am

  6. Time for HvB to swoop in and put up an asinine argument like “… shouldn’t all students be able to enjoy a yummy nutritious breakfast at their leisure with common kitchen utensils?…”

    Comment by franku2016 — May 11, 2020 @ 10:26 am

  7. If ever there were a test case for blowing up zero tolerance policies on “weapons,” this is it. Whether the agent is Hadley v Baxendale or someone else, it has to be done. Whigrub has clearly tilted the table. The “weapon” is a butter knife, not a K-bar Knappe forgot was still in his pack after the weekend hike through the rain forest. And Knappe is a harmless asshole whom everybody secretly likes and will be glad to see at the reunion. The person I’m most disappointed in is Dr Poyle, who should preface her sentence with “This is ridiculous and I’m going to go to bat for you, but the rule as written says xyz.”

    Comment by vaganova's law clerk — May 11, 2020 @ 2:10 pm

  8. Handsy Gil is handsy. I hope Mama Knappe is getting this all on her smartphone.

    Comment by teenchy — May 11, 2020 @ 2:12 pm

  9. Oh, come on, Gil
    This is like the Brubaker movie where the black guy who’s a prisoner but does his good turn every day by hoisting and taking down the American flag still gets electrocuted because he knew of too many dead Mudlarks in Milford Cemetery. I wouldn’t want Gil rubbing my shoulders before Dr. Gonzo lowers the boom and fries my toes.

    “…for the sake of the nation, this Mayor must die.”
    Oh, wait, Gil Pharisee, we still gotta go to King Herod and watch him and his flunkies do that silly dance.

    “…and if you are The Mayor, the redoubtable Mayor

    Prove to me that you’re divine, turn your peanut butter into wine

    If you uphold your name, I’ll let you back in the game

    Come on, King of the ‘Larks…”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — May 11, 2020 @ 6:44 pm

  10. 1. Dumb… If this is the case half the fuckin’ school should have been expelled over the years…

    2. As always, Gilberto can’t Gilberto without turning his douchebag factor up to 11

    Comment by Hitorque — May 12, 2020 @ 3:03 am

  11. She might as well say “…now get your shit, get the fuck ouuta’ here, and take your ding-bat mom with you…”

    Comment by franku2016 — May 12, 2020 @ 9:09 am

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