This Week in Milford

May 18, 2020

Grow Up To Be A Barista

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, Pointy Fingers, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 11:46 am

The Mayor, Mike Knappe, is starting to grasp the gravity of the situation. His parents are trying to show support and help show him a way through, but Mike is wallowing in despair. He’s also acting like a turd. That’s a pretty low blow at Mother Knappe. Jeez, kid, do you think your mother wants to home school a schmuck-o like you??

I don’t know how home schooling would work for a kid who just needs to finish out a year. (Maybe he has more than a year left. I should know these things.) Perhaps the burden wouldn’t be that much on parents. I think being pressed into service against your will would sour things. On the bright side, The Mayor would have more time to eat a sensible breakfast and he wouldn’t have an audience for his lame culinary shtick.

Hold on, there’s a knock at the door. Who could it be? Why, it’s Coach Gil Thorp. Is he selling the ThorpCo Comprehensive Home Schooling Kit For Screwups?



  1. P 2 thought balloon: “…fuckin A….why did I ever get married and have a kid?…” or…..”..fuck!…I already got a backlog of properties to appraise, and now I gotta’ wet-nurse this douche?…” or….”…there goes my afternoon flings with the coach…”…and what tf is Gil doin’ there now, after he basically sat there playin’ pocket pool when all that was visible with Mike was air bubbles in the water while granny Perl held him under?

    Comment by franku2016 — May 18, 2020 @ 12:03 pm

  2. I thought The Mod Squad was a perfect nickname for the Knappe family at this time so I did a little editing of the post– makes me want to watch the show now!

    Comment by robmize2013 — May 18, 2020 @ 2:32 pm

  3. Good one, Ned, on P3.

    “Allow me a demonstration.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — May 18, 2020 @ 3:19 pm

  4. Gil’s so schlobberknockered he showed up at the wrong house again. Squirt him in the face like he’s old man Gower from It’s a Wonderful Life. What an absolute buffoon!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — May 18, 2020 @ 4:17 pm

  5. I can’t forget how much Harlan Ellison in The Other Glass Teat obsessed over Peggy Lipton, but somehow she was more enticing 20 years later in Twin Peaks

    Comment by Downpuppy, RFD (@Downpuppy) — May 18, 2020 @ 5:32 pm

  6. Ned raises something I didn’t think of, that Knappe may have another year or more to go. This makes a suit against the district while he’s at Valley Modified more feasible.

    Comment by vaganova — May 18, 2020 @ 6:33 pm

  7. Way to take a pot shot at someone attempting to homeschool their kid with no prior notice, Rubin. Something hundreds of thousands of people if not more are trying to do today. Bet you wish you had a mulligan for that one.

    Comment by teenchy — May 18, 2020 @ 6:58 pm

  8. I think WB is a senior. He mentioned earlier he missed last year to due to an injury or something. And I think he said it was his junior year. They don’t make juniors mayors do they?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — May 18, 2020 @ 7:01 pm

  9. Mayor McCheese was sliced down to size in the Great Pufnstuf Lawsuit of 1977
    Mayor Nappy is in drydock awaiting his next mission.

    Comment by Downpuppy, RFD (@Downpuppy) — May 18, 2020 @ 7:14 pm

  10. Holy damn… How does his mother not slap the ever-living piss out of him?

    Comment by Hitorque — May 19, 2020 @ 8:09 am

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