This Week in Milford

July 22, 2020

Les Expos(ition) sont là, part deux


Called it! Well, kinda sorta, except for the wearing one’s employer’s uniform in public part.

Phoebe has a habit of pointing at everything and everybody a lot, even by Milford standards, so pointing to the diner door to call out True seems a bit belabored. Corinna’s words say “big whoop” but her rapidly swelling hands say otherwise. Careful, Ms. Karenina: sassy, athletic girls who get involved with True come to bad ends.

Corrina’s zinger in P2 pretty much sums up every summer Gil Thorp arc ever and, in a more normal world, should’ve been today’s post title. But nothing is normal these days. Major League Baseball is getting ready to kick off its regular season tomorrow evening, with a 60-game schedule, new rules straight out of the sandlot, and no fans in the stands. Anything and everything that happens in the game this season will be forever tagged with the mother of all asterisks. Besides, it also gives me an excuse to post this, again, something that every wise NL East scoreboard operator should play when the Nats come to town:

Now let’s sit back for the rest of the week and wait for True to explain how he went from being Wake Forest’s QB of the future to a potential future playing in front of sparse crowds in the worst stadium in the majors, and somehow giving Gil credit for it.


  1. I first assumed True would be playing football for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But no! He’s supposed to pitch, something we have not heard about since he pitched for Mfnrd, I thought for something to do in the off season.

    If so, he is going into a poetry fan’s nightmare, a team with the most un-musical name in recent memory. The metrical foot known as the iamb, two syllables with the first accented, is the most common one in spoken English, and iambic names sound “natural” to us as a result. BOS-ton BRU-ins, PRINCE-ton TI-gers, PITTS-burg PI-rates, etc. Even team names consisting of more than four syllables usually end up being at least somewhat iambic.

    But not in Tampa! Tampa’s present name (TAM-pa-bay-RAYS) consists of an iamb followed by a trochee, not the way to please the ear. But at least it’s better than the original two dactyls (TAM-pa–bay-DE-vil-rays) which sounds fine in Greek (it was the foot of choice for the classical poets, notably Homer and Hesiod) but in English sounds like a voodoo incantation.

    Comment by vaganova — July 22, 2020 @ 9:30 am

  2. CK’s reaction in P2 sounds like something many of the commentators here would say about a lot of the stories lately. True who? So what, sugar britches….and True’s expression seems to be sayin’ “…pro athlete, my ass…I’m on one of the least known teams in the majors, as a right-handed pitcher none-the-less, and just hope to get to the big club without blowin’ my arm out….ridin’ that shitty minor league bus to little po-dunk towns bites the big one…. too bad things didn’t pan out at ole’ Wake Forest, ….gettin’ my ass pounded by Clemson, Notre Dame, and Louisville, not to mention in practice sure didn’t help either….now I’m standin’ here with this dipshit and a bunch of little kids……sheeeit….”

    Comment by franku2016 — July 22, 2020 @ 9:53 am

  3. A draftee would go to the minors, except this year there are no minor leagues. Looks like Gil has a new assistant coach or floor polisher.

    Comment by Downpuppy (I, me, mine) (@Downpuppy) — July 22, 2020 @ 12:13 pm

  4. Jaquan Case can’t switch sports but True Standish can? Guess that makes as much sense as Gil backing Cody Exner and Hutch Renfro after they got arrested but doing jack squat for Knappe (who didn’t even get the police called)…

    Comment by billytheskink — July 22, 2020 @ 12:34 pm

  5. Sure, only 5 rds in the draft this year and the Rays waste one of them on True. The kids are in a stunned whogivesafuckness. True gets thrown in prison for statutory rape with the girl that appear uninterested. Just spitballing like Rubin.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — July 22, 2020 @ 2:54 pm

  6. Teenchy, I’ve been wrong before but this appears to be an obvious reference to Brendan McKay’s attempt to be a pitcher and a batter/fielder in the Majors. So far, it has somewhat succeeded as Tampa has allowed him to be a pitcher and DH when he’s not pitching and occasionally field. B-Mac did manage to be a 2-way player at Louisville and got all kinds of accolades and so I don’t blame B-Mac for taking a stab at it in the Majors, and doing arguably well. My guess is that his current status may stay the same if he manages to stay in the Majors.
    But cramming this kind of scenario in a month and a half, what’s going to happen, Thorpiverse? True be the DH for TB and QB on a 10-day contract for some desperate NFL team and we live happily ever after by mid-September? Really reaching for this one, Thorpiverse.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 22, 2020 @ 4:19 pm

  7. DH and pitching when he’s not performing the Miracle at the Meadowlands for the Philadelphia Eagles. Then we cut over Friday night for the opener between the Mudlarks and Oakwood, oh boy oh boy. Excitement at every turn. And the fireworks will last until just a week or two after Labor Day. I died and went to Milford, er, Heaven.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 22, 2020 @ 4:29 pm

  8. You got drafted by the Tampa Bay organization and not the actual team, so have fun being a lifer for the mighty AA Montgomery Biscuits, jaggoff…

    But seriously… Milford isn’t a big town with a lot happening — Wouldn’t something like Tru being drafted be REALLY big news locally? Nevermind the fact that the draft was seven goddamn weeks ago…

    And what the fuck is Tru doing back in Milford anyways? Shouldn’t he be playing in Montgomery since COVID doesn’t exist in the Milfordverse??

    Comment by Hitorque — July 22, 2020 @ 8:45 pm

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