This Week in Milford

July 25, 2020

They Tried to Make Me Go to Milford

Well robmize gently reminded me that I was covering for him this week, so let me get on the stick and give you a twofer.

July 24, 2020


You know, if this whole summer plot turned out to be nothing but Corinna tossing off one-liners about her family’s criminal past, I could live with it.

Speaking of burning things, Mimi’s gonna end up with some pretty serious burns herself if she doesn’t stop choking up on that spatula. The handle’s there for a reason, Mimi! Luckily she appears to be grilling on a Hammond B3. In any event, Gil is too hammered to notice.

July 25, 2020


You know, if this whole summer plot turned out to be nothing but drunk, glassy-eyed Gil tossing off Captain Obvious one-liners, I could live with it.

“True should be in rookie camp but the minor leagues have been scrapped this season due to the pandemic he has some lame-assed excuse to come back to Milford.” Quick cut back to the MCC where Gil, with yet another drink glued to his hand, gets the beginning of True Standish’s sob story. Hard to believe it’s been almost five years since True led the Mudlarks to a football state championship and, aside from that little mishap with his girlfriend BFF, had the world on a string. How far and how fast can True fall? Will he be selling industrial solvents on the old Del Bader route before we’re through?

Let’s not cast True aside so quickly. Maybe he can hook up with Trey Davis. I hear Trey’s full-service.


  1. Yep. Gil is hittin the sauce more than Moonie lately. I guess that’s why Mimi does the grillin because Gil might blow himself up. Switzerland my ass, True. You’ve gotten the reputation of bein injury prone so the orders to “ go back to Milford” really mean “ your done here, Mr 13th rounder”

    Comment by franku2016 — July 25, 2020 @ 4:07 pm

  2. I wish I had kept track of how many athletes come to Milford for rehab stints and summer workouts. I will question this Switzerland business – I’m sure there’s some capable spots orthopedists there. However. Apart from the javelin throw, is there one single sport to be found in that nation that involves an overhand throwing motion? They haven’t seen the sort of elbow and shoulder problems that a US sports doctor finds stacked up in his waiting room every day of the week.

    Comment by Philip — July 25, 2020 @ 4:14 pm

  3. Teenchy, You is in rare form today, My Friend. I just LMAO at your Harry Caray the Bud Man disguised as Gilberto sauced while watching his wife grill burgers on something Rick Wakeman played “Wondrous Stories” the night before.

    “Heresh True Standishhhhhh, pinsh-hitting for Brendan McKay, boy o boy, be careful hereshh wish shat wind blowing out.”
    “Harry, True hasn’t seen a whole lot of left-handers. He still has to convince me that he can pull one even with the wind blowing out. His average dips to .234 when he’s not facing right-handed pitching.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 25, 2020 @ 4:25 pm

  4. “Send me to a specialist in Switzerland?!” No bro, that’s the kind of shit that the Kobe Bryants and Rafael Nadals and Tiger Woodses of the world do, and they lay out their own fuckin’ cash for it!

    I’m sorry, is there some minor league affiliate or world-class facility in sports medicine in Milford that I don’t know about?!

    Comment by Hitorque — July 25, 2020 @ 6:11 pm

  5. And like Frank said, being “sent home” for rehab mean if Tru works really hard and refines his pitching arsenal and makes a full 100% recovery, he *might* earn an invite to Devil Rays 2021 spring training for the right to play for Double-A Montgomery… But in the meantime you’d better hedge your bets and apply for the night shift over at that warehouse…

    Tru rockin’ that TB hat around the old hometown like a pimp seems all the more pathetic now…

    Comment by Hitorque — July 25, 2020 @ 6:22 pm

  6. Teenchy, Excellent take on Ankiel. I checked out those videos on him. Cannon would not even do justice to describing his arm. I liked what one announcee said when he threw a strike to the catcher from center field
    “Ump thought it nailed the inside corner.” Thanks for sharing.

    Late one night on WDIG-TV

    “…I’m a ‘Lark fan

    And I’m a Bud Man…”

    Later overheard at the producer’s booth by a production assistant

    “Chuck Berry, Gilberto isn’t.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 25, 2020 @ 6:31 pm

  7. I give Whigrub a plug for pointing out what’s too often forgotten. Virtually every player drafted by a pro team– or even granted a walk-on tryout– is the best (fill in the position and the game) in the history of his own town. Single digit percentages of such hopefuls even get to dress for a professional game. I think of the two biggest sports stars of my lifetime in my county of 250,000. One broke all rushing records as a halfback, and as a college player, basically won his team the Orange Bowl. He was drafted by an NFL team but washed out as “not big enough.” The other player shattered all local basketball records and became sixth man on a top ACC team, but was ignored by the NBA and now coaches in Div III. Other local players who were terrific in our pond got even less far. One I often think of is a high school classmate who caught a touchdown pass for his NFL team in a preseason game but was cut the next day. What I’m saying is that this particular unicorn in cleats, True Standish, is the rule, not the exception.

    Comment by vaganova — July 25, 2020 @ 6:57 pm

  8. CK is really talkin about her favorite song

    Comment by franku2016 — July 25, 2020 @ 7:31 pm

  9. Comment by franku2016 — July 25, 2020 @ 7:35 pm

  10. One minute they at the CC next minute they at the Thorps. What the hell going on there? That True boy ignorant fool. Where them girls at? This don’t make no sense!

    Comment by Cow on a flat rock — July 26, 2020 @ 10:08 am

  11. […] we switch to Corina returning home after her visit to Milford and filling in her mom, the arsonist, on the details of the outing. I’m assuming that this is her mom. Maybe if that arson crack […]

    Pingback by Let’s Focus On Poles And Underboob | This Week in Milford — July 27, 2020 @ 5:40 am

  12. I have 2 examples of high school phenoms who were busts – the best high school QB I ever saw in 30 years was Jon Beutcher of Wheaton-Warrrenville South. He went to Iowa and transferred to Illinois after 2 years, but was never more then a good backup on a Big 10 team. Not even drafted.

    Then there was Ken Hall of Sugar Land, Texas. He scored 49 points in one game, 899 points in his career. He rushed for 4045 yards as a senior, about 337 yards a game; 11,232 in his career.
    But at Texas A & M he didnt play much as a sophomore and dropped out of school. Later he played for Edmonton of the CFL and the Houston Oilers of the AFL. But his career after high school was certainly undistinquished.

    Comment by robmize2013 — July 27, 2020 @ 7:38 pm

  13. […] of fire metaphors at work today. Wonder if Corina’s mom is on the […]

    Pingback by Vic Doucette, Firestarter | This Week in Milford — January 6, 2021 @ 9:34 am

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