This Week in Milford

October 28, 2020

Dueling Bad Jokes

Hard to believe there could be a worse team than Milford in the Valley, innit? Yet here we are. Wonder why we never see anyone else in the conference use some archaic formations, defensive schemes or kung fu treachery to make up for their shortcomings against Milford. Most likely because Gil hasn’t updated his playbook for this century and would be equally ready for those plays.

How will this play into our blossoming quarterback controversy? Easily. The Thayer-led Mudlarks will open up a big lead on Central, then Gil will relent and put Rapson in to mop up. Still trying to convince Gil he’s the better talent, Rapp will again defy Gil, call an audible and run a big-yardage play for a score. Gil benches Rapp permanently, Central’s coach accuses Gil of running up the score after the final whistle, and things get ugly.

At least that will offer up more excitement than Friday night at Casa Karenna, where mom and daughter are caught up in a high-stakes game of gin rummy or Uno or something. Probably Uno, since Corina might want to keep mom away from the gin and rum and steer her toward the Yoo-Hoo. Hiyo! (Calling it “a duel of their own” implies that the Milford-Central game is some kind of duel which seems kind of off given Marty’s description of the game turning into a blowout.) Corina cares more about her mom’s mental health than Milford football, which is certainly understandable given this past summer’s backstory. Now if only she could allude to that without being a jerkface to everyone she meets…


  1. Yoohoo! has a ton of carbs. No wonder Corina is so thicc.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — October 28, 2020 @ 11:26 am

  2. 1. Peppermint Patty’s mom looks like Iggy Pop…

    2. So… Winless opponent, an easy night predicted for the Mudlarks — Does Rapson get some mop-up duty with the score 52-6? Or does Macy injure himself on a freak play up 52-6??

    3. And for the record, after all her punk rock bad girl renegade anti-authority bluster, Peppermint Patty leads a shockingly dull and unremarkable life?? And PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME that this is only of those moldy cliche mom-won’t-let-me-out-of-the-house-on-Friday-nights storylines…

    Comment by hitorque — October 28, 2020 @ 12:25 pm

  3. Rap will indeed run up the score, even though Gil will probably specifically tell him to just “run the plays I send in”, which will lead to a confrontation with the opposing coach, sort of like when Joe Paterno was confronted by a coach who thought that Joe was too hard on his team…it was caught on post-game handshake video and after this guy yelled at Joe, Joe replied “…FUUUUUck you…stop us from scoring if you don’t like it…’, which led to a public apology from JP himself the next day….it would be even funnier if the other coach cold-cocked Gil…I’d like to see Rap bullshit his way out of that scenario

    Comment by franku2016 — October 28, 2020 @ 12:26 pm

  4. It was PSU vs Rutgers:

    Comment by franku2016 — October 28, 2020 @ 1:22 pm

  5. It’s hard for me to picture a more awful scenario than playing cards with Iggy Pop while drinking Yoo-hoo. The only place I remember seeing Yoo-hoo is in that movie in which Thomas Cruise Mapother from Syracuse played a stock car driver.

    Gil’s ass is in somewhat of a sling. If he leaves his starter in and that starter either runs up the score or gets hurt, that’s bad. But if he sends Rapsperson in and he does well, the deterioration of the idea of team– and of Gl’s authority– gets worse.

    Glad I’m not sending in the plays! I’m glad just to be sweeping out at The Bucket. Maureen at the diner will brief me in the morning anyway. One over easy with home fries, juice, and black coffee, hold the toast.

    Comment by vaganova — October 28, 2020 @ 2:25 pm

  6. Noooo! Toast is important.

    Comment by Downpuppy (I, me, mine) (@Downpuppy) — October 28, 2020 @ 4:35 pm

  7. True. Toast is good, especially rye toast. For me it’s potatoes OR toast. Occasionally bacon, but never sausage. Maureen tipped me years ago to stay away from the diner’s sausage– it’s made from the ground-up GT plots none of us liked.

    Comment by vaganova — October 28, 2020 @ 4:47 pm

  8. I had long forgotten about that Penn State game, and just when I was about to ask myself if that final score impacted the point spread, I find this:

    Comment by hitorque — October 28, 2020 @ 5:27 pm

  9. @ hitorque… that was good find. I had never heard about that gambling problem with McQuery. Maybe Rap has a gambling problem too and got sucked in by a HS version of Fan Duel

    Comment by franku2016 — October 28, 2020 @ 6:09 pm

  10. vaganova, Maureen wants to know where you want her to hold the toast.

    Comment by nedryerson — October 29, 2020 @ 7:16 am

  11. Mom-and-Daughter Moment over Yoo-hoo! and Old Maid. Priceless.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — October 29, 2020 @ 9:13 am

  12. nedryerson, call me about the Maureen question. Some things should not go onto the public interwebs.

    Comment by vaganova at the diner — October 29, 2020 @ 1:29 pm

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