This Week in Milford

December 30, 2020

Roll Your Eyes and Think of England

Filed under: actual action, Bad Jokes, basketball, Neal's friends — teenchy @ 6:58 am

That direction is for us, dear readers, as we are going to be continually subjected to Corina whether we like it or not. Now this little fire hydrant spark plug is going to be some sort of guard. For the sake of the plot let’s hope she’s a shooting guard; I can’t imagine anyone wanting to take direction from this sarcastic smart-ass. What started out as a realistic plot device – plucky girl has a chip on her shoulder because doctors didn’t take her mom’s mental health issues seriously – started to wear thin by the time she invited the dueling QBs to her house and is practically threadbare by now. Why couldn’t Rubin stow her away in an equipment bag until the end of March?

Because Tessi Milton might need a foil. A quick Googling doesn’t turn up a Tessi Milton but LinkedIn serves up a Tess Milton in Australia. Tessi’s being set up as the social butterfly of the Lady Mudlarks and we know by now that in Milford, extroversion always has an ulterior motive. Is it possible she’s hiding some deep dark secret and is overcompensating for it much in the way Corina’s been overcompensating for hers? Sit back and prepare to soak up the sarcasm for a fourth consecutive arc.


  1. So far, I like Tessi. She’s positive, upbeat, and friendly, not the opposite of that, like Miss “I hate team sports” Karena. Next time she sez that, I hope someone calls out her shit attitude and tells her to take a hike or asks her “why are you always here then?”

    Comment by franku2016 — December 30, 2020 @ 8:48 am

  2. We really should have known better that if Girls Basketball season rolled around, Corina would be in on the scene. As Teenchy is alluding to, puncturing balloons the way Corina is making a fine art of evidently is selling so why drum her out of the strip?

    Ladies and Gentlemen, have plenty of Tums for this one.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — December 30, 2020 @ 1:33 pm

  3. What’s her name seems like a bowler.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 30, 2020 @ 2:21 pm

  4. 1. Holy fuckin’ damn it just struck me we are going to get a full year or more of nonstop continuous Peppermint Patty Queen Bitchery… Because barring some unforeseen tragedy from a drunk driver, she’ll have the spotlight in softball season and the following summer as well… Some things should simply die along with 2020 because we all need a fresh start…

    2. Despite treating all her teammates and classmates like utter shit for six months; and despite not ever making anyone laugh at her lameassed snarky retorts, people still talk to Patty daily because reasons… Have they not realized that as long as they keep enabling her bullshit attitude, she’ll have no incentive to change her behavior?

    3. Despite being some wannabe outlaw juvenile street-smart bad girl from tha ‘hood who constantly tells us how much she hates authority and coaches and how much she loves to scrap, Patty hasn’t had a single shouting match or fight with another teammate, not has she gone off on a teacher, Gilbertina, a referee or local police, and she hasn’t raised hell at some bar or an Action Bronson concert… Hell, as far as we know Patty still has no fuckin’ social life to speak of besides playing cribbage with mom when she isn’t getting her electro shock therapy… That’s why out of all her failings, being a poser is by far the worst imo…

    4. So despite spending at least an entire school year of playing no sports whatsoever, because of Gilbertonian logic Patty is an elite enough athlete to be an *instant* starter in THREE sports?! Or maybe it’s more than that? For all we know she could also be a scratch golfer or olympic class swimmer in the spring, too?

    4a. And how the fuck does this work exactly? Because it’s not like Peppermint Patty is the type who eats, drinks, and breathes sports every hour of her free time or is constantly working to improve her game…

    5. And as for the interest from boys, there’s no way Patty doesn’t out herself as a lesbo sometime in 2021, right?

    Comment by Hitorque — December 30, 2020 @ 4:49 pm

  5. I figgered that Corina was out when she let Phoebe pick her up.
    Milford is a queer place, indeed.

    Comment by Downpuppy (I, me, mine) (@Downpuppy) — December 30, 2020 @ 7:39 pm

  6. Right you are, Hitorque…. PP looks like she’s dreaming’ about a locker room full of naked chicks in P2.

    Comment by franku2016 — December 30, 2020 @ 8:35 pm

  7. 6. Peppermint Patty: “I HATE TEAM SPORTS!!!”

    Also Peppermint Patty: Plays nothing BUT team sports…

    Comment by Hitorque — December 30, 2020 @ 9:36 pm

  8. […] here’s how: by taking down a rah-rah teammate who might not be as much about team as she lets on. In the land that time forgot when I […]

    Pingback by Tessi, You Are The Only Only Only | This Week in Milford — January 13, 2021 @ 10:25 am

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