This Week in Milford

February 17, 2021

All About Shoes

Hey kids! Today you’re gonna get an installment of teenchy’s True Life Stories!

Back in the day when dinosaurs roamed the earth your old pal teenchy drove a ’66 Ford Mustang. These days ’66 Mustangs are considered classics almost on a par with Doug Guthrie’s GTO, but when I owned one it was a just a nice used car. While I was away at college I had a minor fender bender with it, requiring the replacement of the left front fender, the front bumper, and a headlight bulb. Not long after the repairs were done I drove back home to see the folks and let them see how well the repairs had been done. I brought a friend with me and that Saturday night we barhopped. On the way back home, much like ol’ Doug here, I saw the flashing blue lights behind me; unlike Doug, I thought I might be spending the night somewhere other than in my own bed.

Instead of “License and registration, please,” the first words the state trooper drawled to me were “Son, who painted yer car?” Stunned, I asked him to repeat himself, whereupon he proceeded to admire my Mustang’s paint job and its overall condition. I sheepishly admitted to the recent accident and repair and told him the name of the shop that had done the work. The trooper replied, “Well, they did a nice job, but I believe they forgot to hook up yer headlight when they finished up. I’m giving yew a warning and telling yew to hook them wires back up when it gets daylight in the mornin’. Yew’l see my name and badge number on that warning; if yew ever want to sell this car call the barracks and ask for me.”

Sure enough, the next morning I popped the hood and saw the left headlight connector and wiring harness dangling on the inner fender just below the sealed beam unit. I eventually sold the ‘stang but I never did call that trooper, though.

I’m guessing Doug’s having a similar experience with old Officer Wilbon here, but I’m a little confused about the tires comment. The Flowmasters probably let the Tri-Power 389 breathe a bit better but top end is as much a function of gearing as it is of horsepower. Doug might be implying that if the Goat were to run a little faster, he might have to replace its shoes with a set having a higher speed rating. Finding tires in the correct size for older cars is getting harder and more expensive by the day as manufacturers focus production on higher-volume sizes for current models. How that factors into Doug’s decision isn’t clear, and neither we nor Tom Muench have time for that, so off we go to Milford High and hoops practice.

Sorry for rambling on about my youth and the vagaries of classic car tires, but I figure it had to be at least as interesting as watching Tom and Doug awkwardly run laps for being late to practice. (Doug was so distracted he put his sneakers on the wrong feet.) Gil must take comfort knowing the hardwood is one place Clan Guthrie doesn’t lord it over him.

10 Comments »

  1. Good at home on the shoes. Does look strange.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — February 17, 2021 @ 11:28 am

  2. That should read good catch. Dam auto correct.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — February 17, 2021 @ 11:33 am

  3. Butt Muench could say somthin’ to Doug like “..you fuckin’ dick…nice goin’..” but then Doug could reply with “…get your own goddam car if it’s such a problem…”. He’s right about one thing though…Gil don’t GAF about much, especially coaching

    Comment by franku2016 — February 17, 2021 @ 1:21 pm

  4. You were not rambling, that was an interesting read.

    As far as the shoes, my take on it in my blog was that he has one shoe five sizes bigger than the other. But who’s making them run laps? It’s not like there are any coaches at practice.

    Comment by MopMan — February 17, 2021 @ 1:27 pm

  5. Why not just install a taller gear ratio?

    Comment by Hitorque — February 17, 2021 @ 1:32 pm

  6. Teenchy, You’re good, My Man. I liked what I read. It’s pretty much up our alley, given my dad’s engine core business. Keep it comin’.

    And you come to a point, as you always do, unlike this story which is getting distractions from Joe Friday and Bill Gannon who apparently have been reading one Popular Mechanics article too many. When Alfalfa has to remind everybody why we were on the road in the first place, it’s no wonder why he and Spanky are running laps. Not that Gil is anywhere near, only compounding the miasma.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 17, 2021 @ 1:33 pm

  7. No, you’re right– it’s not you– I really haven’t been around much lately. The problem is that for me, story is based on conflict, in other words, there has to be something at stake for the the characters to care about, and by extension, something for us to care about. So far, there’s none of that. Not a goddamn thing. It’s a shame. The best artwork in the history of the strip but no effing story.

    Wake me if anything happens?

    Comment by vaganova — February 17, 2021 @ 5:54 pm

  8. Dont know how you didnt notice a headlight was burned out in the dark. I noticed mine last year for sure. A cop threw a cone at my car when I drove into a closed intersection (he said it was closed but me and my lawyer disagreed) and made a hole in my headlight. It worked for a while then rain got into it and burned it out.

    Comment by robmize2013 — February 17, 2021 @ 5:59 pm

  9. @robmize2013: I’d been driving within city limits where there were enough streetlights that the output of the headlight(s) was difficult to see. Let me also reiterate: “I thought I might be spending the night somewhere other than in my own bed.” Not drunk but had had a couple of beers, and was expecting the worst from a state trooper/college kid interaction.

    For the record, here’s a photo of a ’66 Mustang that isn’t mine but is practically a dead ringer for it.

    Comment by teenchy — February 17, 2021 @ 6:13 pm

  10. […] family PC with his siblings, driving to the library (likely not in a car of his own, much less a Tri-Power Goat or Jeep) to use a PC, and cutting his own hair. Awfully nice of Katy Brito to cut her own hair in […]

    Pingback by It’s the Latest, It’s the Greatest | This Week in Milford — April 24, 2021 @ 9:03 pm


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