This Week in Milford

March 20, 2021

Playin’ Burr, Sir!

Off to Vermont we go where we find the Lady Mudlarks playing a team that would seem better suited to be a rival of St. Fabian’s. (Burr and Burton’s most famous alumnus is Bill W.) The Chief has drawn Neal’s buddy at the Detroit News pretty accurately and has her throwing no-look passes and setting fruity picks. (Meanwhile, Louis C.K. is picking up the scraps of his career in stripes, though doing it a girls’ basketball games isn’t the best look.) “Toyota” Cressa Baxter’s efforts are quickly for naught as Milford quickly begins to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory… and oh, look at whose feet Rubin has chosen to lay the defeat: this season’s designated heel and shallow girl. Doesn’t take much to imagine a conversation like this:

Pardon me.
Are we playin’ Burr, sir?

…and Burton. Who’s asking?

Oh, well, sure, sir
Tessi “The Contessa” Milton, I’m at your service, sir
I have been looking for you

I’m getting nervous…

I play the game at Milford.
I was seeking some attention for the Lady Mudlarks
When I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of Doug’s.
I may have teased him. It’s a blur, sir.
He handles the announcements?

You teased Vic Doucette.

I wanted him to call for us.
Rile up the crowd, then give us silly nicknames.
He looked at me like I was date bait; I’m no prom date!
So why’m I so bad? Why ride in his grandpa van?

You shouldn’t flirt with nerdy boys just ’cause you can.

I’m a player. Of course, I’m a player!
God, I wish that I could score
Then I could prove that I’m worth more than Corina Karenna (whore!)

Want to hear what I think?

That would be nice

While we’re talking
Let me offer you some free advice.
Shoot less.


Block more.


Don’t lead on that kid Vic Doucette; he’ll go with four.

You can’t be serious!

You wanna get ahead?


Girls who can’t play defense will get read.


  1. Yeah, Tessi is all O and no D, and I’m sure that PP will gleefully point that out later in the locker room. Funny thing is, when PP runs her mouth as much as she does, not only do other kids not tell her to fuck off, neither does Mimi, even though she acts like she’s all about “ her girls”…

    Comment by franku2016 — March 21, 2021 @ 9:31 am

  2. Boy, did THIS post bomb.

    Comment by teenchy — March 21, 2021 @ 7:42 pm

  3. You were the blogger that changed my world
    You were the blogger for me
    You ripped on Gil, I stand amused
    This is the blog for me

    But you blew this one baby (your post bombed on us)
    Baby, you dropped a bomb on us

    Comment by MopMan — March 21, 2021 @ 8:18 pm

  4. I’m kidding of course! This wasn’t a bomb, but I wanted an excuse to reference “You Dropped a Bomb on Me”.

    Comment by MopMan — March 21, 2021 @ 8:20 pm

  5. There wasn’t much to comment on teenchy. Sometimes I don’t comment because there’s not much to say. I did think that ref looked like Louis CK even before you mentioned so good call.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 21, 2021 @ 10:14 pm

  6. I dunno, Teenchy, you got 2 Likes and I thought the insert was appropriate to the occasion. The way the lyrics pretty much lined up with the shenanigans we’re putting up with(ha)…

    And Tessi is getting her just desserts for giving Vic the stiff shoulder. In P3, I not only am going to drive past you, I already have my prom gown lined out for my date with Vic. In Yo Face.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 21, 2021 @ 10:39 pm

  7. Your post didn’t bomb….PP and the gang bombed….after Mimi’s bullshit “here’s what we’ll do” pep talk, they went down faster than Linda Lovelace, Ohio State, UVA, Illinois, Purdue…etc

    Comment by franku2016 — March 22, 2021 @ 10:06 am

  8. […] should either stick to refereeing basketball or give as good as he gets, like Bill Haller did to Earl […]

    Pingback by While Heather Watches, Gil Finds a Pair | This Week in Milford — June 11, 2022 @ 8:37 pm

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