This Week in Milford

March 28, 2021

Two Douches and a Four-speed and a 389

What have we learned today, TWIMers?

  1. Doug Guthrie’s favorite NASCAR racing family? The Pettys.
  2. Vic Doucette was seen by drove a Plymouth Satellite faster than the speed of light.
  3. When it comes to teaching your kids how to drive, Doug’s dad got it all wrong. Kid sits on dad’s lap, steers and shifts while dad works the pedals and takes hold of the steering wheel as necessary.
  4. Thanks to #3, Gil Thorp is the strip that has come the closest to a depiction of road head since For Better or for Worse introduced the bizarre term “going roadside.”
  5. A girl rejecting a guy for his grandpa van? Bad. Said guy catcalling said girl? A-OK!

I guess this wack-ass approach to putting Vic behind the wheel of a cool ride is cheaper than pimping out Vic’s van or fitting hand controls to Doug’s GTO. Style points to Whigham for getting the ’66 Goat interior close to correct, adding a column-mounted tach even if he defaulted to the cliched 8-ball gearshift knob.

Honestly this strip doesn’t feel like any kind of arc-ender, much as we might want it to be. If it is, a metapost might be in order.

meta: Well I’ll be darned; it is the arc-ender. Can you say “anticlimactic”? Sure, I knew you could. The post title is, of course, an homage to the second line of “Little GTO.”


  1. Is Vic wearing a shin strap to hold his hair on?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — March 28, 2021 @ 6:21 pm

  2. He needs a gas pedal that looks like a bare footprint too

    Comment by franku2016 — March 28, 2021 @ 6:46 pm

  3. If this is the last strip of this story, this is the dumbest Thorp ending ever. And there have been plenty of dumb endings.

    Comment by MopMan — March 28, 2021 @ 7:17 pm

  4. Franku2016 beat me to it, so I’ll add fuzzy dice, a chain steering wheel, a pine tree air freshener 🌲and a “Calvin Pissing on _______” window decal…

    1. I gotta hand it to Rubin… Dougie and Vic getting shipped into the world’s least likely homoerotic bromance was a plot twist I never would have seen coming…

    1a. I’m serious — if you had told me four months ago that Doug would be the character who got closest physically to Vic’s crotch, I’d have given you 5000-1 odds…

    1b. I really wish an accident happened just so I could see Doug trying to explain to the judge what the fuckin’ hell he was thinking…

    2. It’s funny because back in the Milford parking lot, Tessi probably spent five seconds trying to decode WTF she just witnessed, and then she moved on with her daily life.

    3. I hope these assholes realize this little self-gratifying stunt not only reinforced Tessi’s decision to not go out with him; but set a very ugly precedent in front of dozens of classmates about what whiny petulant punk bitches they can be when shot down for dates…

    Comment by Hitorque — March 28, 2021 @ 7:31 pm

  5. 4. The sad part is the one undisputed, can’t miss life lesson these assclowns needed to learn flew right over their heads:

    There comes a time in every man’s life when he realizes he is susceptible to doing things he wouldn’t normally do except for the fact that an attractive female asked him to… And we jump right in because of the 0.002% chance that she’ll let us hit it in gratitude… Hey it happens to the best of us — James Bond sometimes falls victim to it and right now I’m looking at a room full of useless overpriced shit that I let some cute salesgirl charm me out of my money for… Douglas and Victor are doomed to repeat this situation until they finally get the message…

    Comment by Hitorque — March 28, 2021 @ 7:52 pm

  6. Hitorque, funny as usual. You are throwing around Gilberto like a rag doll.

    Teenchy, I remember this 60 Minutes segment back in the early ’80’s where this lady had no arms yet could steer an automobile WITH HER FOOT. Shoot, why have Doug strain himself when Vic could take a few pointers…

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 28, 2021 @ 11:25 pm

  7. @hitorque…not only these two dweebs too stupid to miss the point, they high 5 each other like they did somthin’ really slick

    Comment by franku2016 — March 29, 2021 @ 7:24 am

  8. […] Tevin’s dropping his backpack into? Couldn’t be Doug Guthrie’s bitchin’ ’66 Goat, could it? Can it help him compete with volleyball and gymnastics for Kianna’s attention? […]

    Pingback by T, Boned | This Week in Milford — September 9, 2021 @ 2:31 pm

  9. […] machine? The car parked out front looks a bit dated, but then again this is Milford, where seeing a ’66 GTO on the streets isn’t out of the ordinary. Seems like it exists only to reinforce Gil’s […]

    Pingback by At Least They’re Not Tokens | This Week in Milford — March 15, 2023 @ 11:36 am

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