This Week in Milford

April 6, 2021

Brito, Unfiltered

See Abel Brito.

See Abel Brito’s tiny body.

See Abel Brito’s tiny briefcase.

See Abel Brito’s tiny bolero jacket.

See Abel Brito’s huge ego.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Abel Brito?

We saw yesterday that Abel Brito is just a step or two behind the times when it comes to internet connectivity and the finer points of working remotely. Maybe even more than a step or two, since he feels the need to print out his work. Good thing Dr. Pearl with a dye job is there to tell him where the printer is. (What? You can’t tell me that’s not Dr. Pearl with a dye job! Things are tough all over, especially since the Milford School Board froze faculty and staff salaries a couple of years ago.) She didn’t tell him how much it costs to print; prolly 5 or 10 cents a copy but free for Milford Library Board members. He did hear there’s a vacancy on the Library Board, didn’t he?

Abel Brito might be a step or two behind the times when it comes to teenage relationships, too. He’s obviously not happy about his daughter Katy’s dating Zane Clark. Can’t be ’cause the kid is a slacker; he’s hard at work at that very same library Abel’s forcing himself to use. Must be because of his home life, some aspect of which must be making Zane unworthy of his daughter. Wouldn’t it be convenient if the Library Board found a way to keep kids from spending too much time at the library, forcing them to, I dunno, study at home?

meta: Thanks @tdrewhardin for covering for me on Saturday’s post.


  1. Yeah…Mr. Burrito must’ve bought his satchel at the same place that sells the HS kids the teeny back-packs they all seem to have. And ‘say hi to Zane’? “…Fuck you…say hi to him yourself, son….I’m not your messenger boy..”. The way Zane sez “um…hi..” almost makes it look like he’s doing something wrong, like looking at porn, perhaps. So far, this story is a real snoozer. I actually want PP to come back.

    Comment by franku2016 — April 6, 2021 @ 9:19 am

  2. “Mr. Brito, I hate to prod but is Kay taking birth control pills by any chance? I mean I’m trying my best but your daughter just has an insatiable appetite with her curvy hips and shoving those perky boobies with oversized areolae and puffy inverted nipples in my face and when she reaches climax her love muscles just clamp down on my member like a vise making it impossible for me to pull out! She’s just too cute with that short black hair and pastel blue eyes, like one of them there Japanese hentai girlies… And she needs it all the time, anywhere she can get it! Empty classrooms, closets, lockers, hell — The other night we even did it on the pitcher’s mound at school! You know what I’m talking about, right? Because I presume back in the day Kay’s mom had the same ‘skillset’ and she became *Mrs.* Brito not long after and I wonder do mothers really pass down these talents to their daughters, or is it more of a primal instinc— Well I’m getting off topic here and I apologize… The good news is Kay is late on her period so you’re probably going to be a grandfather! The bad news is at best there’s only a 1-in-10 chance I’m actually the father since Kay has way too much wealth in feminine desire for one teenage boy to handle, so I can’t fault her for getting her needs met elsewhere…”

    Comment by hitorque — April 6, 2021 @ 10:36 am

  3. Since my fellow Kansas Jayhawk Paul Pierce has been in the news, I feel it is my duty to report that I was today years old when I found out former KU superstar Tyshawn Taylor has legendary status on campus for supposedly doing a girl from the women’s basketball team in the center of the court at Allen Fieldhouse…

    I think it’s something in the water in Kansas, because legend also has it that circa 1970, some secretary or assistant vice president walked in on the freaking university chancellor boning a female student all splayed out on his desk…

    Comment by hitorque — April 6, 2021 @ 10:45 am

  4. @hitorque…when are people gonna’ learn that doors have locks on them for a reason?…stupid-ass chancellor

    Comment by franku2016 — April 6, 2021 @ 11:46 am

  5. So. What have we learned so far? Katy Brito is starry eyed. Grane has some awful thing to deal with at home. Abel Brito is an asshole.

    And the library has printer service. Along with the drama of the library board and the move to Dember by one of its members, we have been tipped. This story– assuming there is one– is not going to rival Gilgamesh. I am always hopeful– I have been reading GT since 1958, with time out when I lived in places where the local paper did not run the strip, but I’m not holding my breath for the moment when Jim Thorpe, Gil Hodges, and John the Baptist descend from the heavens on a flaming pie and resolve the central conflict which has thus far not even been hinted at.

    Comment by vaganova — April 6, 2021 @ 2:32 pm

  6. Wait… How the hell did Kay even know Zane was at the library, unless he works there? And that can’t be right because he’s clearly doing some kind of computer work… And if Zane is just studying, why the hell didn’t Kay just go with her dad and study with him?

    Comment by hitorque — April 6, 2021 @ 2:42 pm

  7. @hitorque – I’ll take a stab at it. Zane does not have a computer and/or internet at home, so she knows he goes to the library daily to do his homework? Although that wouldn’t explain how she would know exactly what time he’d be there.

    Comment by MopMan — April 6, 2021 @ 8:46 pm

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