This Week in Milford

June 2, 2021

Give Him a Loose Enough Tie to Hang Himself

Hey y’all, look! It’s the return of Herk the Mauler! No? Okay, it’s at least the return of Ed Asner, right? Huh? Oh, alright. It’s just another Milford Library Board member who could pass for Ed Asner. But hey, he’s got pie!

And what’s this? Marty Moon is there to cover the Library Board action? Say it ain’t so! Of course it ain’t so. The Library Board has its own goatee wearer and, besides, Marty’s presence would violate a sacred tenet of Gil Thorp: that there can be only one bad guy with facial hair per strip. (Or is that Mark Trail I’m thinking of?) Since Abel Brito Charlie Delta Echo has that spot covered, this can’t be Marty.

Looks like we’re gonna get that Mr. Smith Goes to Washington scenario I predicted on Saturday. Like most Milfordians, the Library Board is self-important, craves attention, and believes any publicity is good publicity. What better way to get even more fannies in the stacks then to put the two guys who’ve been sniping each other in print on public display? Mama Brito’s troubled head bobble is indication enough that Abel’s humiliation will be the family’s, as it plays out in slower motion than Boo Radley’s car crash.

Now all we have to anticipate is how Mimi ex machina will grease the skids for Corina to get into State U on a softball scholly.


  1. Yeah. I can’t wait to see how many people show up to a public meeting with these food-stained-shirt-wearin’ slobs of the library board in attendance to listen to these two chuckleheads debate why they should be on the board. I guess the first one who sez “…I can get my hands on whatever flavor of pies you guys like anytime…” will be the chosen one. P 3 would be better if porn-stache boy was lookin’ at a meme posted to social media with a comment like “….HEY!…the Clark boy posted a picture of me on a horse’s ass with a subtitle “Asshole of the Month” on it …go get Katy….I need to learn how to do this so I can get him back….”

    Comment by franku2016 — June 2, 2021 @ 11:34 am

  2. So the library board’s meetings that we’ve seen (the first one where the guy left for Denver and this pie meeting) are not public meetings.
    The interviews for new board members will be conducted during a public meeting.
    What do the bylaws say about this public meeting business? What other circumstances require public meetings?
    As far as “picking finalists” to be interviewed, how is that done? Is it done in public? Is it part of the meeting with the interviews?
    I think these pie hole stuffing board members are just making stuff up as they go. I’m gonna need to take a look at these bylaws.

    Comment by nedryerson — June 2, 2021 @ 12:11 pm

  3. WHY IN FUCK’S NAME WOULD THEY JUMP STRAIGHT TO A PUBLIC HEARING? A public hearing is the *final* step of the hiring process and neither of the applicants has even been vetted or had a preliminary interview yet! Nevermind the fact that it’s been a maximum of what, maybe 3-4 weeks of Milford time that’s passed since the season started? Isn’t the real story here Milford not having an executive director of libraries or city council who can pump the brakes on this political circus? Or is it the fact that the board is chock full of even bigger dummies than Zane and Brito?

    Now I know why they made such a big fuss over that idiot leaving for Colorado since he was probably the last one on the board with any fuckin’ brains…

    Comment by Hitorque — June 2, 2021 @ 12:56 pm

  4. @hitorque….I guess these old ladies are looking for any reason to sit around and slop pie all over their faces, so they agreed to skip the preliminaries and have them debate each other. Of course, Miss Douchey will be there to make sure it gets on the front page, like a dam NY Post headline or something ….BRITO AND CLARK BRAWL OVER LIBRARY FUNDS, PC USAGE

    Comment by franku2016 — June 2, 2021 @ 1:59 pm

  5. LMAO at all the comments today. And Teenchy, funny title. Just about the truth. Bravo, y’all.

    Ed Asner slobbering over a chunk of apple pie just about sums up the direction of this story. Can’t wait for the movie to come out. Watching a teenager and Butthead duke it out for library supremacy on the big screen just sends me.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 2, 2021 @ 2:19 pm

  6. But don’t you see? Having them debate in public is going to cause massive interest in the library! They’re rubbing their hands in gleeful anticipation of signing up maybe 3 or 4 more people for library cards!

    Comment by MopMan — June 2, 2021 @ 3:03 pm

  7. Does Milford’s cable carrier have a public access channel that could air the meeting? Think of the ratings! They could have the contestants, er um applicants, do a talent competition to narrow down to the finalists.

    Ed Asner/Gavin MacCleod (RIP) did a great job spearing a bite size chunk of pie on that fork. Maybe it’s an apple pie, as that would have possibly a firmer consistency than that fruit pie we saw yesterday. Yeah, try eating a slice of cherry pie the way Ed/Gavin is doing here and you’ll be wearing it.

    I’m hungry for pie now.

    Comment by nedryerson — June 2, 2021 @ 4:10 pm

  8. Ah, Ned– the Gavin McLeod character has the advantage of not using a common fork but instead a flat tool which has three– off center– tines in the first frame and two in the second. Its utility in spearing piece of pie rather than scooping it should, I think, earn it a nomination to the Pantheon of Mysterious Objects.

    Comment by vaganova — June 2, 2021 @ 4:32 pm

  9. @vaganova: For you, we’ll make it so! – t

    Comment by teenchy — June 2, 2021 @ 5:03 pm

  10. And what the fuck is that shit drippin off his piece of pie in P1? It’s gross af

    Comment by franku2016 — June 2, 2021 @ 5:45 pm

  11. Oh I’ve missed Mrs. Brito- she’s so damn hot with that black t-shirt. I think its idiotic to have a public meeting for this position. Sounds more like a debate. Hope Brito is Nixon to Zanes Kennedy.

    Comment by robmize2013 — June 2, 2021 @ 8:28 pm

  12. Steel cage death match. Thunderdome.

    Comment by MTD — June 3, 2021 @ 7:48 am

  13. Thanks teenchy!

    Comment by vaganova — June 3, 2021 @ 7:49 am

  14. Zane has the underaged broad taken care of rob.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — June 3, 2021 @ 8:15 am

  15. Trainer Rick Scott runs the library cartel?

    Comment by billytheskink — June 3, 2021 @ 8:41 am

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