This Week in Milford

July 17, 2021

Please Let This Golf Shark Be Gil’s Long-lost Son

Filed under: Gil Thorp, golf, Heather Burns, huge earrings, Milford CC, Recycled art, talking hand — teenchy @ 11:35 am

Continuing with an idea thrown out by robmize yesterday, kids fresh out of college do not need to have their life’s trajectories neatly laid out before them the moment they’re handed their diplomas. The realities of today’s working world and the high costs of post-secondary education weigh on today’s twentysomethings like they did on few generations before them. So kudos to Rubin for painting that aspect of Heather’s character with a fairly accurate brush. Still Gil can’t help but be a tiny bit of a dick with his little dig at the many things Heather tried to do during her high school days.

Speaking of tiny dickishness: I imagine Friend of TWIM and fellow Thorp snarker Mopman is having a field day with P2 here, skipping over the Get Smart references and going straight to the crotchal area.

Today’s bombshell may be an unintentional one, however. Between the hairline and the coloring, he’s made golf shark Hendricks into a dead ringer for Gildeaux and vice versa. Okay, maybe the sideburns are a millimeter or two different but seriously, how lazy can he get? Lazy enough that we could hope against hope that Hendricks is in reality long lost Thorp son Jami. Now that would make for an interesting summer plot…

Time for an afternoon siesta. Have at it, gentle readers, and catch you next week.


  1. Yeah, I’m about to start on Mopped Up Thorp right now and of course my mind went straight “there” when I saw P2. It’s so obvious, and maybe a bit lazy, but I don’t think I can resist making the expected joke.

    It’s too bad that isn’t Gil in P3. Otherwise I could make a joke about Gil saying something rude to Heather in P2 and then showing up to his golf match with a band aid over where she bit him.

    Comment by MopMan — July 17, 2021 @ 12:12 pm

  2. Mop…. Yeah, Gill could be sayin “… this is what Mimi sez about me….” Or something similar

    Comment by franku2016 — July 17, 2021 @ 1:09 pm

  3. I just saw that bald headed prick on a golf course yesterday. Amazing!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — July 17, 2021 @ 1:38 pm

  4. Don’t bad mouth the bald headed prick, we like the bathroom tub and tile cleaner he endorses.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — July 17, 2021 @ 2:23 pm

  5. Moon, this one is a snake oil salesman .

    Comment by Jive Turkey — July 17, 2021 @ 2:42 pm

  6. Hendricks, the next time you throw down with a can of tuna, may I suggest a can opener? It really cuts down on the self injury. Sorry Charlie, tee it up.

    If Hendrick is a golf hustler, maybe Heather can shadow him and write an expose for the Star. Who doesn’t want to read about Tuna Can Hendricks and the fifty bucks he took off the assistant manager of the KwikEMart. She’ll get noticed by SI and pitch a modern day Paper Lion (George Plimpton’s book about participating in training camp with the Detroit Lions in the early 60s). It wouldn’t fly, but the Lions say, heck, why don’t you coach, or you could be the GM if you want and write about it. Our team has been in the shitter for so long, how much worse can it get?

    Comment by nedryerson — July 17, 2021 @ 6:57 pm

  7. Ned!!!! I saw “Paper Lion” on the Late Movie Night of my local channel when I was in my teenage years. Many of those guys were football players on the team and played their roles to the hilt. The movie was absolutely downright funny.

    I remember one scene where Heather could have been inserted and you would have obtained the same result, i.e., that scene was MADE for Heather, given her bluster. Plimpton(brilliantly acted by Alan Alda) is in football practice and is involved in a scrimmage. He is masterminding the team downfield for a score and goes over to his girlfriend to celebrate, then turns and looks at Alex Karras and the rest of the Lions defense. Their arrogant smirks said it all. Again, Heather was just made for those scenes.

    And I remember at the beginning of the movie where the team is eating dinner and Karras orders the rookies at their table to sing their school song(Plimpton obligingly singing the Harvard Fight Song). I’d LMAO if Heather had to stand on a chair and sing “We’re Rooting For You, Milford High” or the Iowa School Song. Explain THAT one to Gil.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — July 17, 2021 @ 9:27 pm

  8. P 1.5: “… but, you know, I probably shouldn’t show my face too much… everyone around here hates me ever since you made me a starter my senior year… I even got a few death threats…”

    Comment by franku2016 — July 18, 2021 @ 7:34 am

  9. Plimpton died just a few years ago after a long tenure as editor of the Paris Review. For the book, he trained as a quarterback at camp and actually ran three or four plays in an exhibition game. His “patrician accent” drew attention at camp– in one instance players were confused by his calling “fawty-faw” in a signal. Good football book from which I learned a lot about what the NFL was like in those years. Another fine one, just a few years later, was Green Bay guard Jerry Kramer’s Instant Replay.

    Even in the Berrill years, there was a tradition of making male characters look like Gil. One, Dell Brand the biker, had “long hair,” indicating delinquency. Berrill simply drew Gil’s flattop and turned it into a forerunner of a mullet.

    Comment by vaganova — July 18, 2021 @ 10:14 am

  10. ERMAGERD! There’s a real Marjie Ducey, and she’s a reporter!

    Comment by Downpuppy — July 18, 2021 @ 2:17 pm

  11. I found Plimpton’s follow up to Paper Lion at a flea market. It was called Mad Ducks and Bears. I gave it to my friend who’s a Lions fan. I think he wanted to write an in depth book on how football is played in the trenches, but just got a bunch of crazy stories from Alex Karras..

    I learned that Alex Karras wasn’t in training camp when Plimpton was participating. He was serving a season long suspension for gambling on NFL games. Everything he wrote about Karras in Paper Lion was from stories other players told him.

    Comment by nedryerson — July 18, 2021 @ 6:13 pm

  12. I liked this Plimpton follow-up the best:

    And when does someone walk up to Heather and quietly remind her that MCC is a *private* club?

    Comment by Hitorque — July 18, 2021 @ 7:36 pm

  13. @Downpuppy: STOP THE PRESSES! How did we not know this? Wonder if she knows The Real Vic Doucette?

    Comment by teenchy — July 19, 2021 @ 6:12 am

  14. […] how far I held my fingers apart earlier? That’s how small your stipend will […]

    Pingback by Getting Hammered at the MCC? What Else Is New? | This Week in Milford — July 21, 2021 @ 11:53 am

  15. […] that there was no such person as Carter Hendricks until two years ago. Before then, he was known as Jami Thorp Rupert Hall. No, he’ll end being someone else – Henry Carter or some such – who […]

    Pingback by One Short of a Foursome Again | This Week in Milford — August 14, 2021 @ 11:21 pm

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