This Week in Milford

August 7, 2021

The Facepalm Is Mutual, Gil

As robmize pointed out yesterday, after this past week’s strips the summer plot has as many holes as the swing of one of those kid golfers Gil teaches at the MCC. Shirt colors change, golf carts appear and disappear, and Gil finally remembers that Heather called him before the round with Carter and not the other way around. Gil also remembers that he’s married after glimpsing that giant wedding band on his giant paw, so it’s not just his shirt that quickly turns blue. Still doesn’t stop him from asking Heather if she wants it in P3 (you know what they say, big hands, tiny wristwatch)…

Oh, wait: it’s not Gil Heather wants, it’s a paying job with benefits – and not the kind that Gil’s offering her as a Milford High assistant football coach. Until now her only lead had been with the Milford Star and it would seem Marjie’s boss has been dragging his feet with a job offer. Now Heather’s got a shot at a hospital PR job. Which of the the three offers her more of a future? Newspaper journalism is in its death throes and we can estimate how many female high school football coaches there are in the country. Hospitals are always gonna need somebody to put a positive spin on the lack of open beds, the high cost of procedures, and the latest MRSA outbreak, so it’s not like that’s ever gonna go away.

All Heather needs is Gil’s confirmation that she has about as much of a future coaching football as she did playing soccer and she’ll be out of Milford quicker than you can say “Monmouth.” Sending Heather to Central City gets her out of Gil’s hair, lets Marjie maintain job security, and keeps Rubin from having to remember backstories and developing consistent character traits for her in the future.


  1. P 1: Gil sez “ …dam! …. I coulda had a V-8…”, but More importantly, it’s not that Heather wants that job…it’s that she needs it if she wants to dent that student loan balance, so forget about your errand boy job, coach… I gotta move on

    Comment by franku2016 — August 7, 2021 @ 5:04 pm

  2. 1. I’ve never known hospital systems to hire inexperienced PR flaks straight out of college… And I thought Heather’s major was journalism and not marketing? Yes there IS a difference…

    2. Hey Heather Belicheat — You know who’d be a really good person to talk to about opportunities for women who want to break into coaching football? KIRK FUCKIN’ FERENTZ BACK IN IOWA CITY, YOU KNOW THE BIG-TIME COACH YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE WORKED FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS??! THE PLACE YOU JUST LEFT ONLY A MONTH AGO? IF YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT COACHING WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY AT IOWA AS A GRADUATE ASSISTANT?!?

    Deep breath…

    Look, I know we have to rely on a certain level of naivety and ignorance in these Milfordverse characters for storylines to even work, but Rubin is insulting the intelligence of his readership with this bullshittery…

    Comment by Hitorque — August 7, 2021 @ 7:17 pm

  3. Prescription drug peddler jobs are a seriously lucrative way for a hot chick just out of college to make the big bucks. For Heather, with her repeatedly confirmed lack of appeal, they could still be a stable $60k.

    Comment by Downpuppy — August 7, 2021 @ 7:35 pm

  4. “Now that I have my wallet and Pretty Boy Floyd shunned the MCC Snack Bar to do a heist at Milford Federal, did you still want to be on my staff?”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — August 8, 2021 @ 8:15 pm

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