This Week in Milford

August 14, 2021

One Short of a Foursome Again

At Casa Thorp, Gil quickly moves from leaning in behind Heather Burns before Mimi comes back into the living room delivering three Red Bull and vodkas. That ain’t all she’s delivering: with that crop top along with the less formal sweatpants with built-in camel toe, she’s bringing the fan service in on that same silver platter.

Before Heather loosens up and gets ready for this threesome, she has to drop the bombshell from the last threesome she had with Gil: that there was no such person as Carter Hendricks until two years ago. Before then, he was known as Jami Thorp Rupert Hall. No, he’ll end being someone else – Henry Carter or some such – who played for Boise Bridgewater Bemidji Ball State in his color-shifting rain jacket.

Now that that’s settled, can we wrap this up and give Heather her Milford Star by day, Milford Mudlark by night dual life ASAP? NFL preseason got fully under way tonight and so will high school football in a lot of places over the next couple of weeks.


  1. There’s no record of THIS Carter Hendricks. He did it like this, he did like that, he did it with the wiffle ball bat! Not only is this plot NOT going forward, ( not sure if that’s a double negative) it’s going backward. How many 80 year old skanks can bare they midriff? Raquel Welch? I don’t know? She may be a GILF. Or GGILF? What happened to the T for to? Or is it tea for two? I’m so confused. Have a drink on me!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — August 14, 2021 @ 11:56 pm

  2. Turns out Boise State has both blue & orange uniforms. I cant decide which is sillier –

    Comment by Downpuppy — August 15, 2021 @ 7:37 am

  3. Yep. Ok. We get it. Cartman played ball somewhere and won’t talk about it for obvious reasons. Thanks Heather for showin Gil and Mrs Gil how to tap keys. Next story please.

    Comment by franku2016 — August 15, 2021 @ 8:49 am

  4. Downpuppy… Boise home games are hard to watch on that blue field too. Also, the Chicago bears wasted a 1st round pick several years ago on an undersized “ can’t miss” DE from Boise who no one outside of Idaho ever heard of and was off the team within a couple of years

    Comment by franku2016 — August 15, 2021 @ 9:45 am

  5. 1. For the last time, it’s Bowie State! And so fucking what if he was a college golfer?

    2. Did Cart Hendricks really change his name, his background, his passport and get facial reconstruction surgery for the sole purpose of taking the occasional 80 bucks off some dentists and lawyers?

    Comment by Hitorque — August 15, 2021 @ 11:06 am

  6. To cite a parallel to Ralph Bellamy in “Trading Places,” Mr Hitorque has set the price.

    Comment by VAGANOVA — August 15, 2021 @ 2:37 pm

  7. Presumably there was some kind of tanking (Is that what they call point shaving in college golf?) scandal & he had his clubs ceremonially broken. Probably locked in the clubhouse with a hole cutter, but instead of doing himself in, jumped out a window and changed his name.

    Comment by Downpuppy — August 15, 2021 @ 5:54 pm

  8. […] skills you learned in the past. Nobody in Milford ever Googles anybody to find out if they’re living under an assumed name before running them out of town. Nope, not gonna […]

    Pingback by A Cease and Desist Letter from Rowan Atkinson Will Be Forthcoming | This Week in Milford — June 22, 2022 @ 10:55 am

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